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↘️ Chart OUTLINE from BOOK
“Bargains with Fate : Psychological Crises & Conflicts in Shakespeare’s Plays”
– Bernard J. Paris & Theodore I. Rubin (2009)

This is the Expanded info on 3 broad categories of DEFENSES
— Self-effacing / Compliant
— Aggressive / Expansive
— Detached / Resigned

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SITE : “The SELF” 

⬅️ “Bargains with Fate : Psychological Crises & Conflicts in Shakespeare’s Plays”

KEY THEMES 
• Psychological Crises — Characters often face profound internal conflicts that drive their decisions & shape their destinies.
• Negotiation with Fate — The concept of making bargains with fate highlights the tension between free will & determinism in character actions
• Character Interpretations — The evolving understanding of Shakespeare’s characters reflects changing societal values & psychological theories over time.
• Crisis & Conflict — Central to the narrative are the crises that characters endure, which often lead to transformative outcomes

FROM Bernard J. Paris & Theodore I. Rubin (2009) – eminent Shakespearean scholar
In this work, we see how Shakespeare endowed his tragic heroes with familiar inner conflicts & enduring human qualities that make them relevant to people of any era.
Paris uses a psychoanalytic approach inspired by Karen Horney’s theories to analyze 4 major personality types, representative of the Bard’s other works. The author’s combination of literary & psychoanalytic perspectives provides a deeper understanding of human behavior.

The PROBLEM : Shakespeare’s characters are in a state of crisis because their Bargains with Fate have failed – the false belief that they can (magically) control their destinies by living up to the ‘rules’ of their defensive strategies.

Dr. Paris (pgs 15 – 32) :  The most familiar type of Bargaining is for a person to promise to reform their behavior when they’ve gotten themself in trouble (after the fact), &/or to perform some act of contrition  / self-restriction, to prevent punishment from the ‘powers that be’

“….but this type of Bargains-with-Fate are those in which we believe we can control fate by living up to its presumed dictates – not after it grants our wishes – but before. If we think, feel & behave the way we are supposed to – we will receive our just deserts, whatever we may think they are. Fate is often conceived of as God, but our bargains can be with ourselves, other people, or impersonal forces in the universe as we see it.

The terms of the bargains are not really determined by external forces, but dictated by our own defensive strategies. Bargaining is primarily a magical process conforming to impossible lofty demands of whichever neurotic defense we choose (Horney called “private religion”) that will enable us to attain those impossible lofty goals.” (MORE ….. ‘inside’)

Unfortunately for this kind of bargainer – sooner or later their ‘deal’ always crashes & burns, causing great suffering. Yet many people refuse to give up the fantasy wishes & hopes of the Idealized Self (I.S) & live in perpetual disappointment.

DEFENSE MECHANISMS
a. used to deal with feelings of fear, isolation, helplessness, hostility, powerlessness….
b. used against both deep insecurity & vague anxiety

TOXIC SOLUTIONS
1. Self-effacing / Compliant
2. Aggressive / Expansive :
– a. Narcissist ,  b. Perfectionist, – c. Vindictive
3. Detached / Resigned
(full CHART in Part 2)

⬇️  OUTLINE re. the 4 CHARACTERS (pgs 35-177)

🕴HAMLET (H) – He struggles with fate after his father’s ghost reveals the truth, leading him to seek revenge that spirals into tragedy.
▫️H & the Ghost / ▫️H’s conflicts in Act 2
▫️H’s Problem: “This too too solid flesh”
▫️H’s Conflicts : “To be or not to Be” /  “Get thee to a nunnery” /
“Yet have I in me something dangerous”
▫️The closet scene /  ▫️ More Oscillations
▫️In the hands of providence / ▫️ Wish-fulfillment end

🕴 OTHELLO – His insecurities and manipulation by Iago create a false sense of control, resulting in catastrophic consequences.
▫️Iago’s character / ▫️ Iago’s crisis
▫️Psychological Functions of Iago’s Plot
▫️Othello’s Triumph / ▫️ Othello’s Vulnerability
▫️Othello’s Transformation / ▫️ An Honorable murder?
▫️ Bewitched Desdemona : “The Inclining Desdemona”
/ “His scorn I approve” /  “Who hath done this deed?”

«
🕴 KING LEAR – His decision to divide his kingdom based on flattery leads to madness & betrayal, illustrating the dangers of misjudging fate
▫️The Love test  / ▫️ Cordelia’s Compulsiveness
▫️Collapse of Lear’s Fantasy / ▫️To Plainness Honor Bound
▫️Rhetoric vs. Mimesis  / ▫️ Blows & Defenses
▫️”In such a night as this!” / ▫️Unaccommodated Man”
▫️Lear & “Poor Tom” / ▫️”Let Copulation Thrive
▫️Paradise Regained  / ▫️ Spiritual rebirth?
▫️”All Cheerless, Dark & Deadly”
▫️Death of Cordelia / Conclusion

🕴 MACBETH (M) – He makes a pact with the witches, believing he can control his destiny, which ultimately leads to his downfall.
▫️M’s Inner conflicts – before the murder
▫️Macbeth & Lady Macbeth
▫️M’s Inner conflicts – after the murder
▫️The murder of Banquo / ▫️M’s Transformation
▫️The villain as Hero / ▫️ The Death of Macbeth

NEXT: POWER – 4 Types of BIZ Politics (#1)

PREVIOUS : 18 Laws of Human Nature (#5)
 
SITE:”Games” Book Summary

INTRO
Games People Play is Eric Berne’s 1964 classic about the many ways that we habitually relate to one another through “games.” However, they’re not fun, harmless social interactions – but rather subtle, largely unconscious patterns that harm us & our relationships. The book of 20 games explores a fascinating & bizarre world, explaining how some people unconsciously participate in manipulate others to react in alienating & self-destructive ways. It dissects the hidden dynamics inside each game – and shows how to escape them to find true intimacy.
NOTE: This is the book which introduced the INNER CHILD concept. Green circles in chart below are Parent, Adult & Child (top–down)
Here are 4 of the games & how they’re laid out. (more Berne books)

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NEXT : POWER – 4 Types pf BIZ Politics (#1)

 PREVIOUS : Human Nature “LAWS” (#3)

“LAWS” of HUMAN NATURE by R. Green (cont)
11. Law of Grandiosity
12. of Gender Rigidity

13. Law of AIMLESSNESS
The inherent human tendency is to roam around without purpose, so without a clear direction, people drift. They become distracted by petty dramas & temporary pleasures. In the back of our minds we can sense an overall lack of forward movement, being pulled this way & that way by our moods & the opinions of others

RESPONSE : People become most successful when they have a sense of purpose. A clearly-defined life path gives us energy, even in moments of chaos or deep despair.  We have to rely on making conscious decisions, open to the internal, primal traits that make us unique. A high sense of purpose aligns with who we are, so we can achieve more.

14. of CONFORMITY
We have a social side to our character, but groups strip away individuality. We stop thinking critically & default to the collective emotion, unconsciously imitating what others are saying & doing. Intelligent individuals can suddenly support irrational ideas in meetings just to maintain harmony. 
RESPONSE :
Resist the groups’ downward pull. We like to believe we’re independent & progressive, but actually can’t help conforming to our society. Recognize the dynamics / patterns found in whatever group you’re in. Notice specifically how you’re influenced, & keep your psychological boundaries

15. of FICKLENESS
People are always ambivalent about those in power. They want to believe our emotions are clean & simple, but we’re actually ambivalent toward most things, including our leaders. When they make a mistake fickleness shows up as sudden insubordination or gossip,  We want to be protected & enjoy prosperity – without making sacrifices, to be led but also to feel free, to both worship the king & want to kill him. 

RESPONSE : The fundamental role of a leader is to provide a far reaching vision to unite the group. Authority is the delicate art of wielding power while making people feel like you’re working for them. Make them want to follow you.  To embody all the traits you would want in a leader – you must work hard, leading from the front, to be calm, consistent, courageous, fair, tough & wise.

16. of AGGRESSION
On the surface, people seem so polite & civilized, but under the mask, they’re inevitably dealing with frustrations, leading to anger. Many learn to hide it behind a polite smile or bureaucratic red tape. They have a need to influence people & gain power over circumstances. If their goals are blocked, they will become manipulative or outright aggressive.

RESPONSE : See the hostility behind the friendly façade, & do not ignore passive-aggression. Call it out calmly or neutralize it by setting rigid, unbreakable boundaries. Meet active aggression with calculated, unyielding force. Learn to recognize & manage those with chronically direct or indirect anger. Be aware of your own tendencies, & harness the positive aspects of assertive energy.

17. of GENERATIONAL MYOPIA
People are born into a generation that defines who they are (more than they realize), wanting to separate itself from the previous one & set a new tone for the world.  Each one forms certain tastes & values, creating distinct cultural values & blind spots. . Then – as they get older, their values & ideas tend to become closed off from other points of view, limiting their thinking.

RESPONSE :  Understand & honor how much the current time period affects you. Transitions seem to be universal across time – seen over decades – indicating that they’re bigger than any one generation. Realize how history moves in cycles across generations, & identify how / where you fit in to the wider patterns.

18. of DEATH DENIAL
Most people are terrified of death, & spend their lives avoiding even the thought of it. To compensate, they continually look for ways to separate themselves from others to feel special, & therefore exempt. This leads to wasted time & trivial anxieties.

RESPONSE : Understanding mortality is a powerful tool at your disposal seldom exploited to the max. The shortness of life ought to compel us to fight harder & stop procrastinating. Instead of avoiding such thoughts, leverage the paradoxical death effect, to make life more productive & meaningful.
Training ourselves to confront & accept this reality makes it easier to manage inevitable setbacks & obstacles, separations & crises in life providing a sense of proportion . (Modified Reprint)

NEXT : 4 GAMES people play

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PREVIOUS : Human Nature LAWS (#2)

😉 LAWS of HUMAN NATURE by R. Green (cont)
5. of Shortsightedness
6. of Narcissism

7. Law of DEFENSIVENESS
People don’t like someone trying to change their opinion. They look after their own interests, wanting to feel that they’re independent, following their own ideas.
If you attack their beliefs, they will only dig their heels in deeper. So when someone tries to persuade or change them, they become defensive & resistant. 
RESPONSE : Soften people’s resistance by confirming their Self-Opinion. Don’t try to show how good you are nor challenge them directly. Validate their intelligence, autonomy & goodness.  If you want a favor, frame it in a way that allows them to feel generous. Make them feel like the decision is theirs. When you acknowledge their beliefs, they tend to let their guard down (some), making them more open to your suggestions. If you have valuable information & can get things done, you’re a force.

8. of SELF-SABOTAGE
We project our internal fears & insecurities onto the world. Our mental attitudes are self-fulfilling, which paint everything we experience, learn & do. It determines much of what happens in our life, sitting at the heart of success or failure, affecting our ability to make the right moves.
RESPONSE : Audit your own mindset.  See yourself as an explorer – always curious, open to learning new things. AND see adversity as opportunities to improve life, not to be avoided. If you expect people to be reasonable and open, your body language will reflect that, and they will likely respond in kind.

9. of REPRESSION
People are rarely who they seem to be. Lurking beneath their polite, affable exterior is inevitably a dark, shadow side. It consists of the insecurities & the repressed desires, anger, & selfishness they carefully conceal from public view. Often, those who loudly condemn a specific behavior are secretly struggling with it themself.

RESPONSE :  Confront your own shadow – depression & anxiety comes from not being aware of these tendencies. Channel them into productive avenues, like competitive sports or ambitious career goals, rather than letting them leak out as passive-aggression.  By accepting them, you become a more complete & authentic person, radiating that to others, which will attract them into your circle of influence

10. of ENVY
Envy is the ugliest human emotion and the most heavily disguised, People are naturally compelled to compare themself with one another. so some friends & peers will secretly resent your success. Humans tend to evaluate the quality of our own life based on the values accepted by the mob. We continually measure people’s status, level of respect & attention they receive, noticing any differences between what we have & what they have.
RESPONSE :  Develop your sense of self-worth from internal standards rather than by endless comparisons. Work on personal progress, not attaching weight to someone else’s work.
Deflect others’ envy by drawing attention away from yourself & emphasize the role of good fortune in your life. Recognize the early warning signs of others’ uneasiness with your success – too much praise & people-pleasing, or subtle digs under the guise of good-natured humor.

11. Law of GRANDIOSITY
Our natural grandiosity creates an unrealistic sense of superiority, encouraging the view of oneself as better than others. Even a small measure of success can make us lose contact with reality.  If the opinion of our goodness, greatness & brilliance diverges enough from reality, we over-blow our abilities, to compensate, leading to irrational or dangerous decisions.

RESPONSE : Know your limits. Humans want to think highly of ourselves, to the point of imagining our superiority. Learn to identify the signs of elevated grandiosity in yourself & in others – including 7 illusions of grandiosity – and how you can adopt practical ‘grandiosity‘.

12. of GENDER RIGIDITY
All of us have masculine & feminine qualities. Suppressing one side or the other limits your flexibility in problem-solving & relationships. Some is genetic, & some come from the profound influence of the opposite sex parent. But we tend to repress these characteristics, over-identifying with the role expected of us.

RESPONSE : Connect your masculine & feminine aspects, blending in the parts you’re most lacking. Recognize the various types of gender projections, to unlock your specific repressed qualities / energy. Then you’ll become more authentic & effective – drawing others to you. It will allow you to be more fluid in your thinking, which can unleash creative powers

NEXT : HUMAN NATURE #4

PREVIOUS : Human Nature LAWS (#1)

☀︎ “LAWS” of HUMAN NATURE by R. Green (cont)

1. Law OF IRRATIONALITY

2. Law of ROLE  PLAYING
People tend to wear the mask that shows them off in the best possible light – humble, confident, diligent…. trying to hide their true personality. It’s a form of impression management – wanting to influence other’s perceptions.
If we take this appearance for reality, we never really know their true feelings, & on occasion get blindsided by their sudden resistance, hostility or manipulations.
RESPONSE : See though the masks & become a master at reading body language, as well as presenting yourself optimally.. Stop listening to what people say and start watching their body language. Master your own mask to control the narrative you project in professional environments.

3. of COMPULSIVE BEHAVIOR
People never do something just once. They will inevitably repeat their bad behavior. Look at how they handle stress, how they ended past relationships, and how they manage their money.
RESPONSE : Recognizing that character is destiny – learn about people’s character types. When choosing who to work / associate with, don’t be mesmerized by their reputation or surface image. Instead, determine their strengths & weaknesses.
Also, assess your own – correcting negative compulsive patterns so you have control of your choices. Building a reliable daily system is the most effective way to ensure your track record works for you, not against you.

4. of COVETOUSNESS
People continually desire to possess what they don’t have.  Most don’t really want truth & facts, rather wanting their imagination lifted & ego boosted. Familiarity breeds contempt. The more available you are, the less people value you.
RESPONSE : Become an elusive object of desire – a little absence will spark interest, so creating an air of mystery will make you highly desirable. Retreat occasionally to make your presence a reward rather than a given. Organize your time so you are never perceived as entirely accessible.
Also, ‘covet’ a closer connection to reality, accepting what you can & can’t change, and be OK with both, which brings calmness

5. of SHORTSIGHTEDNESS
Humans are wired to react to immediate threats & rewards. We obsess over the latest trend or crisis, ignoring long-term consequences. It makes them vulnerable when things take an unexpected turn.
RESPONSE : Detach from the daily noise Let others panic while you execute a long-term strategy. Surround yourself with those who understand the consequences of their actions & have a bold vision. Elevate your own perspective – learn to focus on the long-term, considering the bigger picture, so you gain the patience & clarity to achieve almost any goal

6. of NARCISSISM
We all have narcissistic tendencies, to varying degrees.
– Most of us are functional narcissists in the middle of the spectrum. We may slip into moments of self-absorption, but have a strong-enough sense of self to pull out of it.
– Deep narcissists (NPDs) lack a cohesive sense of self, so their self-worth comes entirely from others’ attention and validation. In relationships they take everything personally, demand control , everyone’s total focus being on themselves, & are expert manipulators.

RESPONSE : Recognize deep N in others to avoid being sucked into toxic relationships. Healthy narcissists have a strong, resilient sense of self. They direct their sensitivity outward – in the form of empathy toward people or focused creativity in their work, instead of only not themselves. Be honest about your true nature, & work to develop :

a. Analytic empathy: Gather info about the others so you truly to know them (family relationships, values, emotional triggers)
b. Empathetic attitude: Assume you’re ignorant about people so you can be truly curious about their point of view. In your daily conversations :
☼ set aside your judgments / biases
☼ stop your endless inner dialogues, & fully listen
☼ don’t assume they have your same /or similar views
☼ be open to new discoveries.

c. Visceral empathy:
‣ Pay attention to people’s reactions (facial expressions, body language & tone of voice)
‣ Use mirroring to develop a stronger connection (mimic their tone or expression, nod & smile as you listen)

d. Use direct/indirect feedback to develop your empathetic skills: ask about their thoughts / feelings to verify your guesses, then pay attention to their responses & rapport.

NEXT : Human Nature  (#3)

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PREVIOUS : BOOKENDING (from original Part 3). A Review

BOOK : “Summary & Notes” of each law

SITEs : √ “Human Nature” (Psychology Wiki)
√ “What Are We? Three Views on Human Nature”  (2016)  from the Reformed Faith & Practice newsletter

√ 6 Characteristics of Human Nature
These Characteristics are based on a study of human action – what people do, say or intend : Ambition, Greed, Ignorance, Laziness, Self Interest, Vanity.

DEF: Human nature includes the core characteristics (feelings, psychology, behaviors) shared by everyone.
We have different experiences of the people in our life, & we tend to label them – ‘good , bad, predators, capable of great kindness’…… These opinions are colored by our personal experiences with our family, our culture & nationality. The group we’re born into passes on its particular ideas about what makes humans ‘human.’

Robert Greene’s 18 “LAWS” : Book Summary  

REVIEW : “Human nature (how we act instinctively) comes from the way our brains are wired. Through his study of psychology, philosophy & literature, Robert Greene extracted 18 laws of human nature to explain why we behave the way we do.

They may help us become a better judge of character, manage our own thought patterns, & empathize with others, interacting with them more effectively.”

For full details, get a copy of the book , or the full summary bundle for an overview of the various ideas & tips.
👁 Each law is detailed with at least 1 long story (re. historical figures like Milton Erickson, Anton Chekhov, Richard Nixon, Mary Shelley, Martin Luther King Jr., Queen Elizabeth I….), with Greene’s interpretation, additional insights on human nature, & strategies to manage them.

NOTE: You may or may not agree with his choices. They’re not based on the Bible’s compilation, but some may overlap.
The Christian understanding of human nature includes many positive traits, but is most commonly expressed in the form of ‘character defects’ (AA 12-Step language), as the 7 deadly sins :
Anger, Avarice, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Pride, Sloth.

Interestingly, the Enneagram has the same basic list, called ‘Vices’ plus 2  –> Personality TYPE 1= Anger / 2= Pride / 3= Vanity / 4= Jealousy / 5= Greed / 6= Doubt / 7= Gluttony / 8= Lust / 9=Sloth.

The LAWS of HUMAN NATURE 
1. Law OF IRRATIONALITY:  Master Your Emotional Self
Humans think we’re rational & in control of our lives, when in reality we’re driven by intense emotions – seeking pleasure, avoiding pain & doing things to soothe our wounded ego.

Emotions & conscious thought are located on opposite sides of the brain – & we feel emotions first before consciously interpret them (often wrongly).
EXP: When feeling hurt – It’s easier to think you’re angry with someone because they’re a jerk, than to admit you’re insecure or jealous of them.
We are indeed emotional creatures, yet often blind to what motivates us. ★ Becoming aware of our own irrationality, we can learn to understand & manage them with introspection & reflection.

Becoming More Rational
a. Recognize biases (“low-grade”) that distort perception & responses. These include the biases :
⚛︎ appearance (assume you can read people but are misled by ‘looks’)
⚛︎ blaming (avoid your own failures, accusing others)
⚛︎ confirmation (think you’re being logical when finding ‘evidence’ to confirm your own opinions)
⚛︎ conviction (defend your views with ‘assurance’ to drown out your doubts)
⚛︎ group (think your ideas are original when just following the herd)
⚛︎ superiority (think you’re better & more rational than others)

b. Beware of inflaming factors (“high-grade”) which trigger certain feelings & intensify them. Step back & consider the underlying sources. These may come from :
✤ childhood memories that trigger strong positive or negative feelings
✤ extreme stress which makes you to get defensive (reactive)
✤ individuals who provoke strong feelings in you or others
✤ infectious emotions picked up from groups you’re in
✤ sudden gains/losses that bring extreme optimism or pessimism

c. Develop your rational self:
☀︎ accept irrationality in people as a fact of life (vs taking things personally)
☀︎ consciously channel your emotional energy instead of being driven by them
☀︎ examine the roots of your feelings & record your observations
☀︎ observe yourself in times of stress
☀︎ wait before you respond (don’t react)

NEXT : Human Nature (#2)

PREVIOUS :
Leadership (#4)

SITE :

NEXT : 18 Laws (#1)

PREVIOUS:
 (Book-ending, #2)

POST: ‘ My Rights’

** PLEASE also read the ORIGINAL 3 posts 

4 VARIATIONS (written or mental)

1. Identify an activity (A) that makes you anxious just thinking about it! – going to a party, making a cold-call, asking for a need, verbally objecting to mistreatment ….

2. Before taking the action, list as many scary, mean, negative beliefs (T) about the action you can come up with, in 2 categories – ‘About Me’ & ‘About Them’.
These assumptions will come mainly from the WIC – (negative “I” statements), &/or Bad Parent voice (PP), using “You” statements.
🧩 Same CHART as “Why are you Stuck?”

✶ Include painful experiences you’ve already had with this particular scary person or event, so you’re clear about who or what you’re dealing with
— This can be tricky if you tend to paranoia, as your evaluation may be slanted or incorrect
— However, we often ignore what we DO know about people, places & things that are unpleasant, unsuitable or actually harmful

3. As soon as possible, take the planned action (A)

4. Afterwards, so back to the original list & write down:
• what actually happened – specifically in relation to your negative ‘pre’ list
• how that was the similar to, partly or totally different from the ‘PRE’ list?
• how do you feel now (your emotions)?
• using the Adult ego state, what do you conclude (T) about this event now?
SAMPLE :
#1. Afraid to say NO to someone’s request
#2. “They’ll be mad at me / won’t like me…. if I decline”
#3. I fearfully call or text: “I’m sorry but I won’t be able to —-”

#4. Possible positive results:
• The person says OK & is not upset with me
• I’m relieved & surprised, can’t believe it was so easy
• It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be (not bad at all)
🎩

Whenever we think of having to make a choice between options, it’s usually in B&W terms – either Good or Bad. Naturally we want to opt for the good / best option. But what if you only have 2 painful ones, & you’re torn? Which one do you choose?

EXP :  You’re in a ‘love’ relationship (or a job) that means a lot to you but continues to make you unhappy. You know it’s somehow not good for you (even toxic) but it’s so-o-o hard to leave because you’re scared.
Staying hurts, & leaving will hurt.

SO – which ‘negative’ option do you pick? DEFINITELY – it has to be the one that will contribute to your personal growth & self-care.

If you DO want to leave, you’ll have to be fed up enough (“sick & tired of being sick & tired”), but also be able to handle the PMES results, along with the right kind of support!
HELPFUL HINT :
Long-term = the pain never ends, so staying will hurt as long as you’re in that situation
Short-term = the healthy option will hurt for a while (a lot), but will end & eventually be replaced by self-esteem & empowerment.

Use the same 5 points in Part A, but for this version:
1. Write down the event or situation you’re excited about, & exactly how you picture it turning out – fulfilling all your hopes & dreams 😍
2. List all the beliefs, assumptions, projections & expectations you have for the person or event.
If you’ve had previous experience with this particular person / situation, list what happened before (be honest with yourself)
• Continue with  #3 & #4 as above.
🏵
Re. ANY action GOAL – If you tend towards grandiosity, idealization, & over-expecting, you’re likely to exaggerate how something will turn out – for you.
❖ Recovery Tool – FIRST identify :
a. what you automatically think will happen
b. cut that expectation in half
c. then cut that in half 
d. take the action with this modified goal
EXP:
a. I’m going to a party, secretly convinced I’ll meet Mr/Ms. Right & live happily ever after
b. Half : I’ll meet someone, we’ll click & we’ll go home together
c. Half again is: I’ll enjoy the music, talk to & dance with different people, & be happy I went out for the evening. I may or may not meet anyone I like!
d. I explain this to my WIC, & then go, with much less anxiety!
Practice:
• When this tool is new, it’s best to do it in written form, anytime you’re particularly stressed about an action
• Eventually you can also bookend on the run – in your head – any time you need it

REVIEW posts on ‘CDs & the Brain’ to see why it’s so important to re-program the brain by adding new pathways.
Little by little the WIC will be drawn into the present, where life can be much better than when it started out – once our thinking is accurate!

HEALTHY USE :  EVERY time…
❣️….you take a new action (A) that represents your personal growth & /or you’ve converted a self-harming belief into a positive thought (T)
OR when….
🌈 …..something good (that you like) comes your way from the outside & you allow it in!….

….THEN : Anchor it with #4 to reinforce the ‘good stuff’, so it becomes your new norm. Say to the WIC: “See, wasn’t that great?!
Now you can use those accumulated positive experiences when you’ve temporarily slipped back into negativity – TO reminding your Inner Child you’re OK.

NEXT: Human Nature – Overview

PREVIOUS :
Leadership (2b)

NOTE: “POWER / BIZ” posts will continue in JUNE 2022

Editor : The gender of the ‘Shoes’ icons next to each type are strictly my opinion, but realistically all styles can apply to either gender.

A LEADER’S  STYLE can be identified by how they makes decisions, especially the degree to which they involve employees

👞Autocratic (“Authoritarian”)
These people are mainly focused on efficiency & results. They often make decisions alone or with a small, trusted group, expecting employees to do exactly what they’re told to do – as from a military commander.

Autocratic style can be useful in organizations with strict guidelines or in compliance-heavy industries. Also where employees who have little to no experience need a great deal of supervision. In general, it stifles creativity & makes employees feel restricted.

👞Bureaucratic 
Similar to Autocrats, they expect team members to follow rules & procedures precisely as written. The bureaucratic style focuses on fixed duties within a hierarchy where each employee has a set list of responsibilities, with little need for collaboration or creativity. Most effective in highly regulated industries or departments, such as finance, health care or government.

👠 Coaching
Leaders using the coach leadership style are skilled at providing clear expectations & creating a positive, motivating environment. They can quickly recognize team members’ motivations, strengths & weaknesses. They can help employees set smart goals, providing regular feedback & challenging projects – so team members can improve & grow. While this is beneficial to both employers & employees, it’s also one of the most under-used, being so time-intensive.

👠 Democratic (“Participative”) 
Leaders using the democratic style combine Autocratic & Laissez-faire. They ask for input & feedback from their team before making decisions. Because members feel heard & that their contributions matter, these leaders are often credited with fostering higher levels of employee engagement & workplace satisfaction.
Excellent for companies focused on creativity & innovation, like the tech industry.

👠Laissez-faire
The Laissez-faire style is the opposite of Autocratic, focused mostly on delegating many tasks to team members, with little or no supervision. Because these leaders don’t spend much time managing employees, they can dedicate their efforts to additional projects.

This style works well if all team members are highly experienced, well-trained & self-directed. However, it can also cause a dip in productivity if some employees are confused about what’s expected of them, or those who need consistent motivation & boundaries in order to function well.

👞Pacesetter
The pacesetting style is one of the most effective for achieving fast results. These leaders focus mainly on performance, setting high standards & holding team members accountable for achieving goals.
While Pacesetting is motivational & helpful in fast-paced environments where members need to be energized, it’s not the best option for those anyone needs mentorship & feedback.

👠Servant
Servant leaders live by a people-first mindset, exceptionally skilled at building employee morale & helping them stay interested in projects. They believe that when members feel personally & professionally fulfilled, they’ll be more effective, & so consistently produce great work. This attitude tends to gain such leaders high respect. Servant style is excellent for any industry or size, but is most often seen in nonprofits.

👞Transactional
Transactional leaders are laser-focused on performance, similar to Pacesetters. They set pre-determined rules & incentives, mainly using monetary reward for success, & disciplinary action for failure. However, unlike Pacesetter, these leaders are also interested in mentorship – providing instruction & training to achieve goals that lead to rewards.
While this style is great for organizations or teams tasked with hitting specific goals, such as sales & revenue, it’s not the best for creativity.

👠Transformatonal
The transformational style is similar to Coaching, since it focuses on clear communication, goal-setting & employee motivation. But these leaders are committed to the organization’s objectives instead of employees’ individual goals.
Because most of their time is focused on the ‘big-picture’, this style is best for teams that can handle delegated tasks without constant supervision.

👞Visionary
Visionary leaders have a powerful ability to drive progress & usher in periods of change – by inspiring employees & earning trust for new ideas. They can create a strong organizational bond, able to foster confidence in both ‘direct reports’ & colleagues for their company projects.
Visionary style is especially useful in small, fast-growing organizations, or larger ones experiencing transformations or corporate restructuring.
(MORE about each style)

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