PREVIOUS: ENTJs

SITE: ‘Styles of Worship‘ preferences by MBTI dichotomy categories

BOOK: ‘Personality type in Congregations‘

EXTROVERTS (EX)

ENFP – The INSPIRER / Motivator / Cause promoter  E-Intuition-Feeling-Perceiving

Most OPTIMISTIC –  “Happy procrastinator”
• 9.7% females 6.4% males

NATURAL
GOAL: To create. ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic, bright & full of potential.  They’re imaginative, consider life as full of possibilities, excited by new ideas.
Their energy is stimulated by new people & experiences. The life of the party, they have great people skills – wanting harmony with others, & have a need to live by their inner values.

They’re open-minded & flexible, with a broad range of interests, & do well at whatever interests them. They quickly see connections between information & events, able to move forward with confidence based on what they see.  Going quickly from one project to another, they’re willing to consider almost any possibility, often developing multiple solutions to a problem. They’re better at starting than finishing, bored with details.

They’re: creative, energetic, enthusiastic, expressive, friendly, gentle, idealistic, innovative, quirky, people-oriented, scattered, thoughtful, upbeat. And they’re not all bubbly klutzes.

• Hidden Side
They may be Es, but not typically outgoing because their Fi (Introverted Feeling – in their stack) prevents them from wanting to over-extend themself emotionally. Their extroversion shows up more in exploring various interests, by gathering external info, & interpreting it by figuring out how different pieces connect. While they almost always have an unconventional senses of humor, they’re not necessarily ‘goofballs’  – because  they take their moral causes, values & social relationships very seriously.  This intensity can be seen any time these topics are brought to the ENFP’s attention. (much MORE re. stacks in future posts)

• Life’s Purpose: Inspire those who have given up
• Their Law: You shall always follow your heart
• They Comfort others by saying: Everything’s going to be alright!

• They Say: Oops – I didn’t realize there were rules :). Laughter is the best medicine. Chill! I have a wide range of feelings & many are intense.
• Communication: Will start the conversation & likely direct it. They know what they want to talk about – probably something fun.
They should stop talking about how offended they are.

• Weaknesses: Easily stressed, highly emotional, not practical, overly independent, over-think things, too talkative, trouble focusing
• Manipulate: They use their ‘gift of gab’ negatively, justify ‘handling’ others emotionally as just being charming, but it’s ok ? because they’re ‘being authentic’

• Paradoxes: Incredibly open-minded & totally stubborn. Lively & lonely.
• Judge people : by their values  • Fear: Being ignored
• Are Judged for : thinking everyone hates them

Become STRESSED from situations shown in the illustration.
ENFPs in distress will feel overloaded & overwhelmed by too much to do – heart rate going over 9000 rpm! They believe they’re trying to help others by making their lives better, but feel their efforts are unappreciated, & that there are always more expectations or demands on them. Then they become overly-emotional, too worried, withdrawn & have tunnel-vision. In such cases, ENFPs are likely to start shirking all responsibilities, forgetting appointments, being late for deadlines…..

They see other people’s annoyance with ENFP’s unpredictability as a lack of consideration & respect for the ENFP’s rights & priorities. They want to be free to respond to possibilities as they occur, & to change their mind whenever they want. Requests or previous commitments that don’t support their present agenda are felt as unreasonable & limiting, so will be ignored.

• Hate: Being inauthentic & anyone questioning it. Feeling bored or betrayed. Being made to do something simple for hours by a tough authority figure. Their ideas being stolen. Subjective logic & unchallenged beliefs.  Asking for Help, because they’d rather do it their own way

• Don’t argue with ENFPs when they’re holding: Their temper
• Never rein them in.   • Never tell them: You’re boring & unoriginal

GROWTH
Advice: There’s a line between being charming & emotionally manipulative.
They’re lighting in a bottle, full of inspiration, humor & unfettered ideas – but risk burning out from over-committing or following every possibility.

They can have trouble determining priorities, not good at follow-through on decisions or projects. So each time they have a great idea, it would help to immediately break out a pros & cons list, & be as realistic as possible. No matter how strongly they feel about it, it’s best to weigh the consequences of their actions honestly & logically, because others are counting on them.

ENFPs need to find what will really fulfill them – long term – instead of what’s attractive at the moment. By working to achieve their true ideals & values, they can build a consistent lifestyle that fits who they are, not just as a temporary escape from feeling trapped by life. (LARGE CHART)

ENFP Relationships
You‘re keenly perceptive about people, with a wide range of feelings & as well as intense emotions. Your partners & friends will see you as versatile & enthusiastic

• Thrive in any situations that are:  passionate & growth oriented (More…)
• As a Friend, you’re the gorgeous one who makes sure everyone is having a good time
• Annoyed when: someone thinks you hate them

• ENFP Parent, Child of ENFP, ENFP child

• Still single because: you’re too ‘flaky’ to be taken seriously
• Unhealthy behavior: Communicate only with emojis to avoid intimacy

• Show interest : Can’t stop smiling (more than usual)
• Show Love: You cheer them up, boost their confidence, help brighten their outlook on life
• You want to hear: I feel you

• You’re attractive/sexy because : you radiate charm & positivity. A youthful need for adventure & possibilities are contagious, making you magnetic & sensational
<—-  Why these 2 types are compatible

• You should DATE someone who: will beat you at your own game & keep your interested. Someone you can depend on, but doesn’t give in when you’re in a mood to be demanding. Someone who can bring excitement, but show you that relaxing can also be fun.

• To attract you someone needs to: flirt with you once & then act completely uninterested. You love a challenge!

• Some Famous ENFPs: Carol Burnett, Dom Deloiuse, Buster Keaton, Regis Philbin, Hayden, Mark Twain, Dr. Seuss, Robin Williams

NEXT:  ENFJ

PREVIOUS: ESFJ

SITE: ‘How each type handles feeling Ashamed’

EXTROVERTS (EX)

ENTP – The VISIONARY / Originator /Debater
E-Intuitive-Feeling-Perceiving

Most INVENTIVE  – “Explosions maker ”
• 2.4% females, 4.0% of males

NATURAL
GOAL: To invent.  ENTP’s are ‘idea people’ – resourceful & mentally quick, good at many things – upbeat visionaries who value knowledge, understanding & possibilities. They can solve problems creatively & in unusual ways, because they see connections & patterns, able to spot & capitalize on new opportunities.

They enjoy developing strategies, but are more interested in generating ideas & options than specific actions. They get excited about new ideas & projects, but tend to neglect mundane parts of life – bored by routine

They like people, & make interesting company, good at reading others, intuitively understanding them & situations. Generally alert, outspoken & assertive, they may be into one-up-manship – fluent conversationalists who enjoy debating issues & lively verbal sparring.

They’re: charming, eccentric, flexible, given to brinkmanship & testing limits, ingenious, innovative, theoretical, undisciplined. They enjoy arguing both sides, loving challenges. And not all want to debate every single thing. (More… )

• Hidden Side
ENTPs are probably the least self-aware of all iN types. They seem ‘non-committal’ to people who don’t know them, because they’re already so committed to someone or something that it keeps them from sticking with a new possibility long enough to get anything from it.  A bit like a fish struggling to get away, only to be reeled back in over & over, not realizing it’s attached to a hook. Also, contrary to popular belief, they’re not reckless, even when involved in what seems like reckless activities, since they’re extremely cautious in how they go about it

• Life’s Purpose: Find what’s possible in what seems impossible
• Their Law: You shall always order pizza with double cheese
• They Comfort others by saying: Come on – there’s got to be something that’ll cheer you up!?

• They Say: I’ve figured out that these rules aren’t doing their job – let me explain…. I value adaptability & innovation. All’s fair in love & war – fight me!
• Communication: They’ll start the conversation & probably end it if they don’t like the way its going.  They should stop talking too much.

• Weaknesses:  Don’t like practical things, hard to focus, insensitive, intolerant, very argumentative, too uncommitted, too unrealistic
• Manipulate: Always have a backup of convincing bull— when they’re called out on their convincing drivel.

• Paradoxes: Eccentric & narcissistic. Everything planned & nothing solidified.
• Judge people: by their ‘smarts’.   • Fear: Not understanding things
• Are Judged for : making others feel stupid

Become STRESSED from situations shown in the illustration.
ENTPs become so focus on possibilities/options, they don’t DO anything. They can get flighty, over-concerned with personal freedom & how other people’s wishes might threaten it. They act impulsively, rationalizing their whims & inability to stick to a project or commitment by saying they’re avoiding entrapment

As internal pressure increases, ENTPs tend to go against or ignore rules, assuming these don’t apply to them. At the same time they unconsciously rely on others to provide them with stability & to do the chores they hate.

Interpreting others’ dissatisfaction with them as manipulation, they reject any responsibility, being intolerant & unpredictable. They’ll only do as they please, refusing to limit their options or follow through with obligations.

• Hate: Growing old. Hiding their power level, ignorance, objective morality, not being listened to, rules. Being written off for being too unorthodox. Anyone being very controlling, ignorant or close-minded. Asking for Help, because they’d rather do it their own way

• Don’t argue with ENTPs when they’re holding: back their thoughts
• Never dismiss them.  • Never tell them: You shouldn’t always give your opinion, because you’re usually wrong

GROWTH
Advice: Just because you can get away with it doesn’t mean you should.
They’re visionaries, but tend to avoid making decisions, & can get excited about grand impractical ideas, not do-able because of limited time or resources.  They challenge others & their ideas too much. They have a way of bringing others in on their vision, but that are unpredictable & unstable.

ENTPs are like a living tornado. While it may be in their nature, everyone they’ve left behind in the wreckage of their adventures – could use an apology.  If unwilling to apologize, the ENTP should find ways to clean up their mess with people in their life now by being counted on 100% from now on, & showing appreciation.

ENTPs can change dysfunctional patterns by assuming responsibility for the situations they create & for how they treat people they deal with. By acknowledging their importance in the larger scheme of life, they become more focused & self-disciplined, able to inspire others & offer consistent, trustworthy leadership.

ENTP Relationships
You enjoy a good debate, your conversational style can be challenging as well as stimulating. Your partners & friends will see you as energetic & lively, & independent

• Thrive in any situations that are: Dynamic & constantly evolving (More…)
• As a Friend, you’re the one who has a new hobby or interest every week
• Annoyed when: someone tries to makes you feel stupid

• ENTP parent, child of ENTP, ENTP child 

• Still single because: you consider trolling a form of flirting
• Unhealthy behavior: Only express emotions through memes, (indirectly)

• Show interest: try to ‘prove’ you importance by arrogance & arguing
• Show Love: You’re attentive to their needs, motivate with fun ideas & activities
• You want to hear: I disagree with you

• You’re attractive/sexy because: you’re charismatic, novel & witty – a flame people are drawn to. You’re usually smooth, knowing how to persuade. & your sharp, piercing humor is a big draw.

• You should DATE someone who : can stand up to your strong will, who has their own clear sense of purpose so you can’t overshadow them. Someone who is always willing to grow, & wants to grow with you.

• To attract you someone needs to : be able to challenge your ‘logic’ & not fall for your manipulative tactics

• Some Famous ENTPs: Alexander the Great, Presidents – Thomas Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt. Julia Child, Rachel Ray, Alfred Hitchcock, George Carlin, Céline Dion, Tom Hanks

NEXT: ENTJ

PREVIOUS: ESFP

SITE: How each MBTI type shows affection

The EXTROVERTS (EX)

ESFJ – The CAREGIVER / Supporter / Provider/ Consul
E-Sensing-Feeling-Judging

Most HARMONIOUS  – “Popular friend”
• 7.5% males, 16.9% females

NATURAL
GOAL : Harmony, Cooperation = best accomplished when everyone follows the same set of rules. . ESFJs are generally popular, sociable & outgoing. For example, in High School, they take the spotlight & set the tone, such as cheerleaders & quarterbacks, who help lead their teams to victory & fame. Later in life, ESFJs continue to enjoy supporting friends & loved ones, organizing social gatherings & doing their best to make sure everyone’s happy.

Their clear set of values are related to the external world (family & community) rather than about their inner self. Feeling a strong sense of responsibility & duty, they value tradition & security, with a desire for things to be pleasant.

With a strong wish to be liked, they tend to put the needs of others before their own. They’re interested in being of service, but need positive reinforcement to feel good about themself. They’re conscientious, good-hearted, cooperative & supportive. Gifted at making others feel good about themself, they understand what people need & to be appreciated for their contributions to society.

Re. projects & plans, they take time to collect necessary facts to help them make decisions, & enjoy creating effective procedures. Are extremely organized, with a well-developed sense of space & function.

They’re: Accomplished host/hostess, dedicated, empathetic, friendly, gracious, respectful, shallow. They live to please. And not all are gossipy. (More…)

• Hidden Side
Usually kind-hearted & well-intended, ESFJs are not warm & fuzzy – because they try to ‘love’ people before they see if they actually like them. Of all the ESxx types, they’re the biggest nerds, & gravitate to Enlightenment Era ideals. They can also be great pranksters, because they’re clever & love to get reactions from people.
«
• Life’s Purpose: Bringing together those who are apart
• Their Law: “You shall always take care of your friends”
• They Comfort others by saying: I’m here to help you feel better, so let’s get started

• They Say: I’m loyal to people, institutions & causes I believe in. We’re all fiends here – there’s safety in numbers. I’ve bent over backwards to fulfill all the rules.
• Communication: They’re so friendly & inviting – like a mom-friend – that people love talking with them.  They should stop talking about their sorority or fraternity

• Weaknesses: Inflexible, sometimes too needy, reluctant to innovate or improvise, take things too seriously, think they always know what’s right, too selfless, vulnerable to criticism, worried about their social status
• Manipulate: To make themselves ‘interesting’, they gossip about the back-story of people they don’t know

• Paradoxes: (Un-developed ESFP) Friendly & ‘difficult’. Take ‘5 minutes’ to gather everyone – for a ‘1 minute’ group project
• Judge other people: about their selfishness  • Fear: Of isolation
• Are judged for: caring too much what others think

Become STRESSED from situations shown in the illustration.
Under stress ESFJs usually keep their inner conflicts & upset out of public view. They’re terrified of being judged or criticized by others, but can be highly intolerant of others’ behaviors they judge as inappropriate. When they feel used & unappreciated, their resentment leads them to rash, thoughtless actions that can damage the very relationships they care so much about.

As frustration increases, they complain, manipulate & go behind people’s backs to make decisions for them – that benefit themselves much more than for the other. They rationalize their insensitive behavior by being convinced their actions are the right ones for solving problems.

• Hate: Being disliked. Insensitivity. Know-it-alls. Lack of community. Selfishness. Anyone who hurts other. People who don’t listen. Asking for Help, because they think they’ll burden others. Someone suggesting a lot or ridiculous ‘novel’ ideas – that obviously won’t work – while the ESFJ is trying to make a plan.

• Don’t argue with ESFJs when they’re holding: a Frying pan
• Never: Abandon them.  • Never tell them: This is all your fault

GROWTH
• Advice: Remember that what you say about others reflects on who you are.
While ESFJs are good at making friends & being popular, unfortunately many are also prone to gossiping.  When making decisions, they can be overly influenced by what they think others want, & so can have trouble adjusting plans when faced with unexpected changes or opportunities.

They risk being too accepting of -or- deferential to those in charge.
ESFJs can help themselves by accepting that they can be loved for who they are, rather than what they do for others, & that they don’t have to fulfill everyone else’s wishes. They need to define who they are & what they want, apart from how others see them or want them to be.

ESFJ Relationships (More)
Because you‘re highly attuned to your partners’ emotional needs & concerns, mates & friends see you as responsive & persuasive

• Thrive in any situations that are: old-fashion-romantic (More…)
• As a Friend, you’re the one who can be counted on for advice on almost everything.
• Annoyed when: someone won’t go anywhere with you

• ESFJ Parent, child of ESFJ, & ESFJ child

• Still single because: You’re still in love with your ex
• Unhealthy behavior: Over-react when your S.O. forgets your anniversary

• Show interest by: Bragging
• Show Love: You lessen their stress, motivating with affectionate pep talks
• You want to hear: I need you

• You’re attractive/sexy because you’re: warm & generous, have a need for beauty & harmony, creating a haven of light & love, which are sensual & very desirable.

• You should DATE someone who: CAN live without you but doesn’t want to. Who makes you feel appreciated because you care. Who doesn’t NEED you, so you can focus on our own needs as well.

• To attract you, someone has to: Be popular in their circle of friends, so they can tell everyone you sometimes forget lunch or the need for sleep. Then everyone will be desperate to be the one who’s taking care of you. 

• Some Famous ESFJs: Pres. Bill Clinton, Prince William, Martha Stewart, Barbara Walters, Sally Field, Mary Tyler Moore, Terry Bradshaw, Dr. McCoy of Star Trek

NEXT: ENTPs

PREVIOUS: ESTJ

SITE:  R & L brain horse types

• “Horsenalities” – using Types to identify horse temperaments

The EXTROVERTS (EX)

ESFP – The PERFORMER / Entertainer / Demonstrator / Dynamo
Extrovert-Sensing-Feeling-Perceiving

Most GREGARIOUS  – “Dramatic spotlight” • 10.1% females, 6.9% males

NATURAL
GOAL: To conquer. ESFPs are Active Types who live in a world of possibilities, drawn to new experiences, since they view the world as a stage.  They’re playful & love being the center of attention. Excellent team players, they’re focused on completing tasks with the most fun & least discord. Traditional schoolwork can be hard, since they don’t like theory or impersonal analysis, but will do well when a subject interests them, or when they see its practical relevance.

ESFPs love to talk to people & about people (endlessly), & are some of the most colorful storytellers. But annoyingly they can jump from thought to thought in mid-sentence. And they love anything / everything new.

They’re also interested in being of service, great at working together with others to get things done, making things more pleasurable for others by their own enjoyment. They have well-developed common sense & practicality (S). They’re often in the role of peacemaker because of their warm, sympathetic & tactful nature (F). Rarely following convention, they find creative ways to help, being especially good at mobilizing people in crises. (More….)

• They’re : accepting, colorful, daring, generous, optimistic, persuasive, reckless, sociable, spontaneous, theatrical.  But not all like to perform.
They – cut thru red tape, share readily, juggle many projects, love surprises«

• Hidden side
Of all the Feeling types, ESFPs often have the most trouble dealing with emotions – not good at facing their own psychological issues because they tend to minimize problems. However, their Feeling side does shows up – in their genuineness – not playing games with others’ feelings or pretending to be someone they’re not, in order to be liked. Their natural confidence is usually enough to win friends & influence people.

• Life’s Purpose: Making lively that which has become dull
• Their Law: “You shall always have fun”
• They Comfort others by saying: I hear there’s a really good karaoke bar in town

• They Say: I enjoy the good things in life – physical comfort & happy times.  Seize the day. Is there a fine for breaking the rules? OK I’ll pay that. SURE, but I can’t physically calm down right now!
• Communication: They’ll talk to anyone & everyone, as long as they feel the other person isn’t too intimidating to approach.
They should stop talking about partying.

• Weaknesses: Arrogant, conflict-averse, easily bored, impatient, poor long-term planners, over-sensitive
• Manipulate: Everything has to be about having fun. Just went bankrupt? Not to worry – let’s go out, get drunk, find some ‘entertainment’….

• Paradoxes: (Un-developed ESFP) Exciting & visionless. In tune with their environment, & oblivious to what’s really going on
• Judge people: by their own values   • Fear: Not being appreciate
• Are Judged for: needing too much attention

Become STRESSED from situations shown in the illustration.
Under stress, ESFPs need space to figure things out. They’ll get overwhelmed by ‘downer’ thoughts & projecting negative outcomes. First they’re likely to feel depressed & disinterested, with diminished physical & emotional energy. Then become self-absorbed & indifferent to other’s needs, finally leaving their current situation altogether in search of a whole new alternative.
As psychological pressure increases, ESFPs can lose their individuality by acting flighty & superficial, wanting instant gratification, & ignoring the consequences of their actions. Others will see their unpredictability, as they indiscriminately go for what’s popular or try to fit into their environment, which damages their credibility.

• Hate: Boundaries, being judged, co-dependent or lonely, lack of excitement. Not being able to express themself. People asking them “But, why?” to everything they say. Anyone talking about their life in great detail – or worse, drone on & on about it at a social gathering where the ESFP just wants to relax.
Asking for help because it makes them think they won’t be able to learn it

• Don’t argue with ESFPs when they’re :  holding a Celebration
• Never: Belittle them  • Never tell them: I don’t like you

GROWTH
• Advice: Don’t fall for sweet words. Look for ‘right’ actions.
ESFPs are the life of the party, but need to find healthier ways to have fun. It’s important to say ‘no’ to pointless experiences, make wiser choices & try not to jump in impulsively, or they’ll likely to being taken advantage of. It’s best to stick to those who really care about them, whether they’re feeling happy or sad.

ESFPs can get easily distracted, not always finishing what they start & so have trouble meeting deadlines. It will help if they focus on a purpose that satisfies their inner values, figuring out their own priorities & what really matters to them, ignoring current trends.

ESFP Relationships (More….)
You love life, enjoying food & clothes, animals & human companionship. Partners & friends see you as supportive, fun-loving & spontaneous

• Thrive in any situations that are: exciting & exploring (More…)
• As a Friend, you’re the one who gets excited by everyone & everything.
• Annoyed when : someone’s a total buzzkill

• ESFP parent, child of  ESFP, ESFP child

• Still single because: it’s what you want to be
• Unhealthy behavior: Keep complaining “You don’t love me!”

• Show interest by: Making a complete fool of yourself – but in a cute way
• Show love: You listening to them warmly, paying attention to practical needs
• You want to hear: I notice you

• You’re attractive/sexy because you’re : radiant, glowing with vivacity, with an added earthy ‘I know what I’m doing’ vibe. Your inner strength & pure willpower are very attractive & admirable

• You should DATE someone who : can handle your spontaneity & let you be yourself, but can keep you in line. Who can help you take things more seriously & organize your sometime messy life

• To attract you, someone needs to : look good, make it clear they’re available & then wait a while. Your natural ‘people curiosity’ will eventually drive you to go after them

• Some Famous ESFPs: Adele, Arsenio Hall, Deepak Chopra, Goldie Hawn, Janie Foxx, Marilyn Monroe, Tony Robbins, Stephen Spielberg

NEXT: ENTJ

PREVIOUS:
MBTI basics #2b

SITE: ‘Key differences between Es & Is – info for bosses

• “Are Es or Is better salespeople?”

NOTE: In the next 2-3 months posts will focus extensively on the 16 Types, first the 8 Extroverts, starting with 😀ESTP, & then later the 8 Introverts, starting with 🤫ISTP.

🚎/🚗 The charts below outline some of the main differences between the 2 types. These descriptions represent extremes. Remember that most of us are a combination of both, in some proportion (90-10, 70-30, 50-50…..),  favoring one style or the other throughout our lives. Because the 2 groups are bio-chemically pre-set (next post) we clearly express their preferences from the beginning of life – before the harmful effects of our upbringing distort them. But they’re always part of us, so we can reclaim them as we Recover.

ALSO: to understand ourselves well, we need to factor in other character parts that make each of us unique.
Beside the basic MBTI designation (INTP….), each type has a <—- ‘Cognitive Function stack, & a Temperament (Artisan, Guardian….) in combinations of the basic 8 options  (NT, SJ….). Along with the MBTI, each of us also has our own Enneagram Type, Astrology sign, childhood experiences, social environment.spiritual belief,…. & taken together they make up our identity.

EXP: An ENFJ + Christian + Enneagram #8 + Pisces + Numerology 22/4 + an AGoA +++….. G=grandchild 🙂
All-in-one: Inside the Pisces is very soft & passive, but the #8 is tough & assertive. The 22/4 is the entrepreneur, called The Master Builder, while the ENFJ is the Teacher / Giver.  Add in – being Saved, raised by 2 un-recovered ACoAs, an American growing up in 3 post-WWII European countries….  & we get a very different ENFJ or Pisces or #8…. than all the others in the world.

What’s YOUR unique combination?

Tongue-in cheek, but not totally : «

«

One of many example of how the 2 styles show up in business / entrepreneurial environments.
«

«
NEXT : MBTI type – ESTP