Ennea-Types : UNDERSTANDING THEM (Types 4, 5)


PREVIOUS : Understand them (Types 2, 3)



Comments FROM Type 4s
〽️ Reminder to Self & everyone else : My feelings are valid, no matter what triggers them . They’re represent my truth & have merit in this moment.

〽️ I often need time to process before responding. I may throw out an initial reaction (too soon), but then when I really think it through, I may come back with a different answer

〽️ I don’t always want to share my emotions, especially if they’re too private, too deep, too complex, or too hard to explain.

〽️ When I express feeling vulnerable, don’t try to cheer me up or take my mind off of it. Just sit with me & listen.

〽️ I can get ‘intense’, so it helps if you just mirror my feelings (repeat what you hear) or share honestly about your own. If you withdraw, it makes me feel like I’m too much, so I won’t feel safe to share anymore.

〽️ I express al-l-l-l my feelings with emphasis! AND – I’m not sad all the time! I love life!

〽️  I love it when you remember something I’ve shared with you before. It makes me feel heard, & that I matter to you.

〽️ If you think I’m good at doing something, let me know! I honestly may not be aware of it.

GETTING ALONG with Type 4s
They’re about authenticity, emotions, creativity & sensitivity
For you:
Don’t tell a 4 that they’re too sensitive or over-reacting. It triggers a core wound – believing they’re ‘too much’.

🔅 4s continually long for what they don’t have. This is not something for you to fix

🔅 Be authentic with 4s. Being real is their core desire, so naturally they want others to be that way with them.

🔅 Let them know their belief of ‘not being enough’ is their right (they can think that),  but the facts say otherwise.

🔅 Stay grounded when they are moody or suffering. Give them room to experience all their feelings, but be a solid foundation they can hold on to, to keep from spiraling too far down.

🔅 Give them clear parameters for tasks, & creative freedom to do their work. 4s what to know what you expect of them, but also want to use their imagination & emotions.

✳️  ✳️  ✳️

Comments FROM Type 5s
〽️ Being asked, “What are you thinking?” is an intrusive spotlight. Instead : “What are your thoughts about this?” feels more manageable.

〽️ Don’t pressure me to participate! I actually enjoy sitting on the sidelines & observing.

〽️ I don’t always want to share my initial thoughts because I know I’ll want to add or edit later. Be patient while I thoroughly process.

〽️ I genuinely want to understand your point of view, even when I don’t agree!  I equally appreciate it when others ask me the same kinds of questions in return.

〽️  I have emotions too (excited, outraged, sad, happy…) even though I don’t show them in the way you do.

〽️ If I do express an emotion, try not to act shocked or poke fun at at me for “finally showing up”. That really hurts, so I won’t feel safe to share with you again.

〽️ Silence does not imply I’m agreeing with you. I may not be saying anything right now when I’m tired, frustrated, haven’t thought it through, don’t think I’ll be received well…..

GETTING ALONG with Type 5s
They’re about competency, knowledge, logic, & time alone
For you: 
 Be clear & direct with them. Don’t beat around the bush or be vague when having a conversation or giving instructions

🔅 Give them a heads-up about needing to work out an issue. Emotionally hard talks are definitely not what 5s want to have sprung on them.

🔅 If you do bring up concern you have with a 5, tread carefully, as they’re afraid of looking incompetent.

🔅 Don’t insist a 5 socializes. They don’t respond well to being pushed, & since their energy reserves are low, forcing them to socialize can push them beyond their limits.
With them:
🔅 5s have very limited energy reserves, so they need more time to recharge than other types. Accept this about them.

🔅 5s don’t talk just for the fun of it – only when they have something important to say. So when they do talk, make sure you listen.

NEXT : Understanding them (Types 6, 7)

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