PREVIOUS : Being Loved – #1
SITEs : ESSAY – a Parent’s love
🙏🏼 God’s love as Parent – unconditional, sacrificia
The #1 job of a parent is to meet their child’s need for LOVE. And children spell love T-I-M-E.
A child’s tank filled up with love is a happy, emotionally stable child. But because of internal & external pressures, many guilt-stricken parents misinterpret the kind of love that kids need, trying to make up for lost time by not enforcing boundaries or appropriate expectations.
However, the outward expression of authentic parental love is a skill that can be learned.
Research from Washington U in St. Louis, showed that a mother’s love helps her child’s brain grow – as much as twice the rate as that of a neglected child.
Love is a physical need for children. Authentic parental love helps them develop an awareness of being a beloved child of God, one who has the capacity & responsibility to share that love with others.
SECURITY & BOUNDARIES
Kids don’t like boundaries – they actually crave them. True parental love allows them to feel safe & secure by providing limits (if age-appropriate), even though a children’s desire for immediate gratification can get in the way.
But even if they won’t admit it, children thrive in a home with loving, clearly defined boundaries.
Kids from loving homes tend to be more adaptable. This gives them the roots needed to develop resilience & a healthy perspective for facing life’s issues.
When they get honest encouraging & supportive words from parents they’re better able to develop perseverance, self-control & patience.
Kids become self-confident when they feel a genuine, unconditional parent-love. They able to enjoy positive experiences in life, instead of worrying about what the future holds.
Family environments where love is regularly expressed prepare children to boldly face much of what they’ll be dealing with as adults.
(From Danny Huerta, MSW, LCSW, LSSW at Focus on the Family)
The 5 LOVE LANGUAGES – for KIDS
Gary Chapman & Dr. Ross Campbell introduced this idea in “The Five Love Languages” & later in “The Five Love Languages of Children”. They pointed out that it’s common to have different love languages in a family, which can be tricky to navigate if unknown. But once parents learn each child’s style, & are willing to implement it, it makes a big difference in their relationships, including with siblings – all for the better.
Being loved unconditionally by others helps children TO:
– express their capacity to love, & allow themselves to accept love
– develop a realistic sense of who they are, as well as being part of a unit
– learn to trust their own experiences & opinions, because they feel safe
– cope with delay & frustrations, an inevitable part of life
– experience a range of emotions & communicate what they think & feel.
NEXT: Narcissism – Overt #1