DEALING with Difficult People

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 SITE: How to deal with each type


TRUTHS to REMEMBER about Difficults:

😽 We may be able to put a dent in their behavior with positive reinforcement – but it doesn’t work on everyone. The best we can do in any situation is to set firm boundaries – let them know you won’t tolerate their attitude & bad behavior.

▷ Their behavior is habitual, so they behave this way with most people. Think of others who’ve had a hard life but not become difficult

▷ Don’t take their behavior personally! Their negative patterns are their False Self

▷ Do NOT make excuses for their behavior. You lose your power when you do that

▷ Don’t fight back. Don’t try to appease them. It won’t work because they have an insatiable appetite for more – drama, cruelty, isolation, arrogance …..

▷ Don’t try to beat them at their own game. They’ve been practicing their skills for a long time, & you’re a beginner by comparison

▷ NEVER try to change the difficult person. You can’t change anyone else, only your reactions to their behavior. By changing your responses, they may decide to change….. but usually not. However, you will feel better.

Some Options – Handle them by:

• Avoiding • Circumventing • Confronting • Discouraging • Exposing • Identifying • Ignoring • Informing • Isolating • Neutralizing • Predicting • Rehabilitating


• Act normally
When dealing with difficult people, it’s important to be yours normal self – maybe even slightly better. It won’t help to people-please, try to control them or get angry

• Communicate well
It’s often best to let the difficult one talk , but know how to ask relevant questions & then give them lots of room to answer. If possible, propose another point of view. See beyond the label & try to understand where they’re coming from. If it’s consistently unreasonable, don’t try to get through to them!

Control Emotional Responses
Never lose your temper or shout at them. Being quiet & centered has a greater effect. Volatile or negative people often respond better when others are positive.
This may be hard to do consistently because they can get to us, but it’s worth the effort – to make our day more pleasant & maybe give them a break from their misery 😇

• Get direction from others
If necessary, consult someone you trust to talk over the situation or the personality type you’re dealing with – to get feedback, guidance or just important validation for your observations & solutions

• Get down to the core issue
Try to find out what the real issue is that’s causing a problem(if possible) & then address that rather than how it’s being presented

• Meditate
Take time out to quiet yourself in whatever way works for you. If the situation is pushing a button in you, comfort the Inner Child, identifying what’s causing your anxiety or rage, & explain current reality & your options

• Remember the numbers
Studies remind us that mental health plays a major role in maintaining physical health
Negative people are more affected by stressful situations & are more prone to illness

• Respect the person
No one likes to be treated disrespectfully. The more considerate we are toward difficult people, the better they react. A version on the Golden Rule is: “Give respect, expect respect.”

• Stand back
Sometimes it’s best to ignore bad behavior, to be able to have perspective, especially if you know the other person is ‘dangerous’ or under severe stress.
NEVER take their behavior personally!

Take a stand
Other times it’s necessary to speak up on your own behalf, to calmly say what is acceptable to you & what is not. Understand your realistic options & develop one or more strategies based on that. Take actions & persevere.


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