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SITE: Why being kindhearted attracts Toxic People
Some STYLES (cont.)
Narcissists : (one of the most D.P.) they assume everything is about them, nothing is their fault, the world owes them, & they can do no wrong. However – narcissists come in several shades of puce. They can be the ones who take everything personally, slipping into abandonment & self-hate mode
Over-reactors : emotional bleeders who are mortally wounded by any helpful suggestion for improvement, any hint at the need for a correction or change, or just looking at them the wrong way…. forcing everyone around them to walk on eggshells
Paranoids : assume they’re always in some kind of danger. Being distrustful, they’re constantly suspicious of other people & their motives, interpreting it all as being aimed against themselves
Passive-aggressives : (see posts) They’re mostly big phonies – hiding upset emotions by pretending everything’s okay. However, their true feelings will show by sabotaging their own life or the activities of others, or sneakily getting revenge
Pessimists : (see posts) believe they have no control over anything, but also that no one with power can be trusted. They think in B & W, & assuming the worst, they undermine morale at every opportunity
Psychopaths : (see posts), defined as “a pattern of disregard for, & violation of, the rights of others”. They can hide in plain sight because they’re good at faking ‘normal’, and because most people don’t want to believe someone they’re around can be so awful
Subtle Snipers : experts at pot shots & sneak attacks, they use mean humor, a sarcastic tone – especially if saying something ‘nice’, disapproving looks, innuendos (implied insult)…. but deny it all
Tanks: aggressive, with in-your-face verbal & physical behavior – their goal is to overpower everyone at all cost: “I win/you lose!” They never back down, & expect others to either run away or attack back
Think they know it all : addicted to showing off, they have a knack for b.s, but don’t actually know what they’re talking about. OR, they learn just enough about a subject to sound like an expert, which can fool some people, some of the time – all to get some attention
Yes people : trying to please everyone & avoid confrontation, they agree without thinking things through. Reacting to the latest demand on their time, they over-commit, ignoring prior commitments, and never have time for themselves. Then become resentful
No people : disguised as a mild-mannered normal person, they fight to hang on to futility, hopelessness & despair, killing momentum & creating constant friction. More powerful than hope, they’re deadly for morale, able to defeat good ideas with a single syllable
Maybe ones: consumed by indecision, they get lost in analyzing things to death, but never take action. They procrastinate, hoping a better choice will come along, but they wait too long & miss out. And, unwilling to risk hurting or upsetting anyone, they say nothing at all
Nothing ones : they afraid to contribute to any conversation. No verbal OR nonverbal feedback. Nothing. They’re especially dangerous if they “Say Yes – but actually mean – Do No”
Silent ones – timid people who retreat into a shell to avoid conflict & responsibility. They may not be obviously difficult, but leave a hole in their environment. They get away with not talking because most people are uncomfortable with silence, too quick to fill in the gaps for them
HOWEVER:
Silent ones may be true introverts, needing quiet to process or concentrate – or to shut out an uncomfortable/painful home or work environment. They’re not a D.P. but still can make some people wary or uncomfortable
NEXT: How to deal with….
HEAL & GROW for ACoAs 