Qs: Are You Passive-Aggressive?

these questions!

PREVIOUS : P-A Comments

BOOK: Overcoming Passive-Aggression…..

SITE: Why Empaths Freeze Around Fake People” 

See ACRONYM page for abbrev.

REVIEW: Ways to express anger – Bible perspective

Qs re Silent Treatment – Christian focus
A Master Mind student formulated the following Qs for such a person to ask themselves, but they can also be used in couple’s counseling & in group.

✏️ What are you trying to achieve, accomplish, or prove with the silent treatment?
✏️ What are you trying to protect yourself from by choosing silence?
✏️ Is this a defensive tactic? If Yes, then against what?
✏️ What are you trying to control when you use the silent treatment?
✏️ What are you afraid of if you were to actually talk to the person you’re ignoring?
✏️ What is it that makes you so angry?

🔎 Are you aware how this tactic affects your family—the infliction of abuse?
🔎 Are there any other people in your life you treat this way?
🔎 How does it make you feel when you are ignored and alienated?
🔎 Do you have anyone holding you accountable for this tactic?
🔎 Will you change now? Will you stop doing this?

QUESTIONNAIRE re. being Passive-Aggressive 
Unexpressed anger can build up and take over your life, making you miserable in many different ways. You may have deep unresolved anger if you:


_____ Deny your feelings of frustration, irritation and impatience

_____ Are afraid to express strong emotion, believing it’s wrong to be angry

_____You appear sweet, compliant and agreeable, but are really resentful, angry, petty and envious underneath

_____You cover up feeling inadequate with superiority, disdain, hostile passivity

_____ Frequently vent injustice about your job or home situation to others

_____Smile but are bitter and cynical, while you are hurting inside

_____ Are excessively impatient and irritable

_____ Are bored, apathetic, have lost interest in things you used to enjoy

_____ Become easily frustrated with other people’s faults

_____You’re afraid of being alone, & equally afraid of being dependent

_____You sulk, withdraw and pout

_____You constantly protect yourself so no one will know how afraid you are of being inadequate, imperfect, left, dependent or simply human


_____ Are unnecessarily critical of yourself

_____ Turn your anger on yourself and beat yourself up

_____You complain frequently that you’re treated unfairly

_____ You procrastinate frequently, especially on things you do for others

_____You are often late and/or forgetful

_____Express disbelief at others’ driving, resulting in road rage

_____ Have continual thoughts of revenge

_____ Grind teeth or clench your jaws; chronic muscle tension in your face

_____ Chronic muscle tension in neck & shoulders, that worsens when upset

_____ Habitually clenched fists, tap feet or hands when upset


_____ Are afraid to express your opinion because you might blow up

_____ Overly polite, cheerful, ‘grin & bear it’ to hide feelings of injustice

_____ Agree to do something, then don’t follow through. “Forget” your promises

_____ Want to be known as the “nice guy/gal” but inwardly are in turmoil

_____ Are sarcastic and use humor destructively

_____ Frequently pepper your talk with cuss words

_____ Must have the last work in a disagreement, keeping a fight going

_____ Pick at others & provoke them to anger

_____ Are secretly or outwardly judgmental about the actions of others

_____ Displace anger on safer people (less threatening) or on objects

_____You’re unwilling to give a straight answer

_____ You make up stories, excuses and lies

_____You drag your feet to frustrate others

____ You don’t speak your truth openly, kindly and honestly when asked for your opinion or when asked to do something for someone


4 thoughts on “Qs: Are You Passive-Aggressive?

  1. I actually just screen shot all of this questionaire so I can forward it to my husband from whom I am currently living with while working through our divorce… if he answers these questions to himself truthfully maybe, just maybe he will see he needs counseling/ help in order to have any future healthy relationships. I love him but can’t live in this toxic relationship anymore 😞


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