I‘VE WORKED A LONG TIME
to have peace of mind

PREVIOUS: Dis-comfort & Comfort #3b

SITEs: ☀︎ Cultivating Self-compassion
☀︎  Start being comfortable in your own skin
☀︎ Exercises & Meditations for Self-compassion

QUOTE: “A man (or woman) cannot be comfortable without his own approval” ~ Mark Twain
“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside can do you no harm.” – old African proverb

2. NEGATIVE DIS-comfort (cont.) ➖➖

3. POSITIVE DIS-COMFORT (cont.) ➕➖

ACoA PROMISES

Being willing & able to tolerate the dis-comfort of the Recovery process will lead to achieving at least a fair measure of the Promises. These goals & outcomes are the result of sticking to the hard work of growth through all the frustration & disappointments.  They may seem beyond our reach at the moment, but the 12 Steps offer : “If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through: (from the ACoA site, based on the AA Promises)

☆ We will discover our real identities by loving & accepting ourself
☆ Our ability to share intimacy will grow inside us
☆ As we face our abandonment issues, we will be attracted by strengths, & become more tolerant of weaknesses
☆ We will enjoy feeling stable, peaceful & financially secure.
☆ We will learn how to play & have fun in our lives
☆ Our self-esteem will increase as we give ourself approval on a daily basis
☆ We will choose to love people who can love & be responsible for themselves
☆ Healthy boundaries & limits will become easier for us to set.
☆ Fears of failure & success will leave us, as we intuitively make healthier choices
☆ With help from our ACA support group, we will slowly release our dysfunctional behaviors.
☆ Gradually, with our Higher Power’s help, we will learn to expect the best, & get it

ACA World Service Org . FREE Literature

4. POSITIVE Comfort ➕➕
Dictionary DEF:  • Producing or sustaining physical comfort, support, or ease
  • In a state of physical or mental ease; contented, undisturbed

a. ACTIONS: “Do what’s comfortable” does not mean being complacent, being stuck, lazy, backsliding into old ways, giving up hope, settling, or not continuing to grow & expand your horizons.

b. BE-ING : Ultimately, true Comfort is an inside job. It comes from developing a deep sense of self-worth (not arrogance) & faith in a Higher Power. It allows us to enjoy the good things about ourselves & the world. And when difficulties, stressors or pain come our way, we can allow ourself to have a variety of intense emotions (Es), but our thinking (T) stays realistic & sound.

INNER COMFORT is the result of self-compassion, expressed very day, in large & small ways.
< It is not self-pity, self-indulgence or superiority – the latter often based on being special, standing out from the crowd, social position, visible accomplishments & income
> It IS being kind to yourself whether you you’re doing well or not, by accepting your humanness, no matter how messy or complicated.

Expressions of Inner Comfort develop from knowing & owning who you are, by identifying your specific needs, likes & dislikes & then providing them for yourself.
** Functioning mainly from our Authentic Self, using the UNIT (healthy adult/loving parent) for self-care, we can say”:
• “I know what I know” & I don’t have to know everything to be safe!
• most of the time I have no S-H (self-hate)
• like where I live, inside & out
• have the job/career that suits me
• can stand up for my rights without being pushy of starting fights
• mainly have relationships w/ people who at the very least respect me, & who are kind – most of the time. And at the most those people who love me, enjoy my company & suit my personality
• find ways to have fun & enjoy myself
• have a sense of humor about almost everything
• have little or no desire to fix, rescue or take care of other people, without guilt, since my anxiety level has gone down to a whisper
**Knowing what I have & don’t have control over.
• Say YES to any good thing that comes my way!
See the Serenity Prayer  //// “50 Things You Can Control Right Now”
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NEXT: Comfort /Discomfort #5b