When it’s OK to be LAZY

PREVIOUS: Subtype Stacking – SO



DEF: “A failure to act or perform as expected due to conscious, controllable factors — namely a lack of individual effort.

ACoAs have been trained to be human DOings, instead of human BEings. So, taking time out to relax is considered worthless, even a ‘sin’. We believe everything has to be done the hard way, no matter how much it stresses or harms us.

This is based on some of the Toxic Rules we were raised by:
“Life is an endless struggle / / Down time is wasted time / / No playing until ALL my work is done / / I’m supposed to always suffer / / I have to keep tying BUT never get ‘there'”
We assume that relaxing means we’re not being productive – not ‘producing’ an object or a function (cleaning, writing….).

However –
resting, doing something pleasant or something fun is actually a very real need of our body & mind.

Modified from Kayla Matthews’ article “You can be lazy”:

When your mate wants to spend time with you
Mentally positive & emotionally fun time spent with your  significant other (S.O.) can have a positive & dramatic impact on the relationship, so make sure to put it higher on your priority list than paperwork or household chores

To NOT miss the little things
Watching the sun set, or making time for other small pleasures as often as possible (every day?), can have a number of medical & emotional benefits. It can also be a great source of inspiration & motivation for future productivity. SO – take a few minutes to watch the sky change colors & then get back to work.

When you feel a cold coming on
When the seasons change, we may feel tired & achy. Handle the early signs of a cold with more self-care, taking a lazy day off to sleep, take vitamins, cleaner food, play….

Some people actually try to work harder, assuming they’ll get it all done before they start to feel truly awful. Usually this adds stress tp an already compromised body. So the best thing to DO is nip your cold in the bud to max health & productivity

When aggressively over-doing
Unexpected things to deal with can crop up throughout the year, and certain times are extra stressful, like end-of-year holidays.
So it’s best not to wait to the last minute to prepare for the ‘onslaught’ of activities.
On the other hand, don’t drive yourself crazy trying to plan & organize everything – perfectly – in advance. Do a little at a time, spread out what you can, AND take small breaks – often. You’ll feel stronger & get more done.

When not being ‘productive’
Sometimes we confuse productivity with busy-ness. Just because you’re working on something doesn’t necessarily mean it’s moving you toward a valid goal .
If you’re no longer interested in the task or project you’ve been sweating over, or you have mental-block — you’re better off stopping to take a nap, grab a healthy snack, read something non-related to the work…..  That way your mind has time to unwind, recharge, maybe even letting your unconscious work out a problem while your conscious mind is focused elsewhere

• When emotionally stressing out
If you’re worrying about something about work or in your home life, take an hour or two to quiet yourself – whichever healthy way works best for you.
New ideas or Improved motivation come more easily to a quiet & rested (lazy) mind — than to a frantic, overactive one. When you go back to your tasks or creative project, you may be able to focus on them more calmly & be more productive.

When spending too much 
While soup & sandwiches might not be ideal for dinner every night, they can definitely be the answer if you’ve been eating out too often. Having a lazy meal at home can be a nice change of pace, for both you & your wallet.

When ‘burnt out’
There’s a difference between simply not wanting to do something & actually being exhausted. It’s very wise (healthy, loving….) to listen to what your body is saying:
— If it’s physical, take an evening to veg out with your favorite escapism
— If it’s mental, just the opposite may be true – do something physical. Exercise release endorphins that make you feel better

When you’re done
Our society places a lot of value on the number of hours we spend working every day. But that shouldn’t matter nearly as much as quality of output.

🌱  If you can turn out great work in less time than the next guy, that’s your plus.
🌱  If you need more time to do things right & well, that’s what’s best for you.
🌱   If you’re done with your to-do list, you’ve earned lazy time.


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