Type 5: Whether you’re communicating verbally or in writing, try to fill it out a bit more by Including feelings as well as facts & information. Try to withdraw less often & stay engaged with coworkers a little more.
Conflict Resolution : Try to maintain some emotional stability while arguing. 5s like to keep to the facts of a situation and will detach when emotions get too heated. Walk away from the argument if you are to emotional as you will be unlikely to get a response. Tell them that your feelings are hurt without expecting them to do something about it (they become angry when there are emotional expectations). Don’t let them use knowledge or arrogance as a weapon and remind them you are a person not a robot or computer.
Type 6: When you communicate, reduce the number of words that indicate fear, anxiety & worry. When describing or explaining a negative task or event, also include positive options or solutions. Manage your anxiety using tools like meditation, so you can keep the ability to make clear, rational decisions.
Conflict Resolution : Admit any ulterior motives. Try to stay calm but don’t dismiss them, Find common ground and allay their fears of abandonment or anger. Do not get lost in their arguing circle, if it feels like a marathon walk away. Hold your opinion but don’t be stubborn about seeing their point of view. Do not insult their intelligence or flatter or appease them. Don’t try to win, this will only escalate the argument. Don’t tell a 6 to calm down.
Type 7: Practice attentive listening, & resist the urge to interrupt. Focus on what others are telling you about themselves. Work on balancing your positive outlook with moderate, realistic, even negative possibilities – to be prepared.
Conflict Resolution : Try to allow them their space but hold them to a time when the conflict can be resolved, 7s will flee at difficulty and let them know how this affects your relationship.
If they try to leave ask them to set aside time for you to discuss it (5s like this too). Don’t harp too much on what they are doing wrong or they’ll shut down. Don’t sugar coat things but try to reframe things so they can take in the information without feeling too threatened.
Type 8: Be a bit warmer & more personal with coworkers, & less formal with supervisors. Start communications with a friendly greeting. Listen more, practice patience & restrain your urge to lead every conversation & meeting.
Conflict Resolution : Stand your ground and do not waiver in your opinion. They want someone who can hold their own against them. 8s will spar with people they love to test their strength.
Try to set ground rules in an argument with an 8 and don’t be afraid to let them know if they hurt your feelings (this often surprises them). Try not to react to their intimidation tactics but don’t egg them on either.
Type 9: Admit to yourself what you think & feel. Then you can be more direct & take a clear stand on issues. If you disagree or don’t want to do something, say that directly to the relevant person. Learn healthy ways to deal with conflict – as a way to achieve harmony.
Conflict Resolution : Don’t attack aggressively or take a blaming tone, they will tune you out. Try to acknowledge that they want to find a point of agreement between the two of you.
9s will be afraid of your anger & may become stubborn or withdraw when you begin to show your anger. Assure them that your anger doesn’t mean that you don’t like/love them anymore (unless of course you don’t) but that it’s important to resolve this issue.