PREVIOUS: Recovering from N abuse, STAGES
✳️ There’s no way around grief. Processing the reality of a relationship with a narcissistic parent or partner involves grieving your losses.
As a partner, you grieve
– the person you fell in love with & thought you knew
– the promise of love you never got
– the time you spent hoping for something that never came
– the trust & intimacy that could never be.
1. At first, your anger will be directed at your abuser. It’s appropriate, but isn’t cleansing & may feel like being caught in a whirlpool – trapped & hopeless because there is no way to get fairness or justice.
2. Eventually, you will feel a different kind of anger – coming from an inside voice ready to protect you, to fight for your new life, to get your soul back & never let anyone mess with you ever again.
3. As you gradually release your anger, (in therapy, on paper, in AL-Anon, ACA, CODA, in prayer)…. you’ll have moments of hysterical laughter at the absolute absurdity of some of the Ns behaviors, who doesn’t deserve you wasting even one of your brain cells on a single thought about them. (Posts : Anger / Co-dep anger in us / Anger Triggers / Anger & Co-dependence )
You’ll also see the absurdity of your own behavior, – all the times you’ve tried to say or do something you hoped would stop what can never be stopped – their sickness. You will forgive & laugh at yourself. You’ll know you’re healing when you start to feel safer & more at ease.
❣️ You can heal. Along with our capacity for suffering is a corresponding capacity for mending a broken spirit. Healing happens as we recognize the larger patterns at work in our lives, overcome denial, understand the reality of narcissism, & move through Grief Stages to a safer, easier state of being.
NEXT : NARC RECOVERY #2