SITEs: “Narcissistic Abuse & Financial Abuse” (extensive)
• “Money: They still want to make you pay. Literally” (re. Ex-spouse) Scroll down
• The Narcissist & Money Control
👫 Men, Women & Money – How the Sexes Differ With Their Finances
NARCs LOVE MONEY, of course! They love any resource that gives them power & control , & money is a major tool for that
NOTE: Most of the literature focuses on how male Ns use $$ to harm their mates & family. However, Financial Abuse covers much more ground than sexual relationships. Interestingly, there are a number of ways an N can MIS-use $$, depending on their TYPE .
There’s the N WHO:
a. has accumulated or inherited money, & uses it to ‘keep’ another person (either gender)
b. has little or no money of their own, & won’t earn their own way, so they find someone else to support them
c. as a parent – will be more ‘generous’ to a favored child who knows how to stroke the N’s ego
Or who spends all their time & money on one sibling, while ignoring or actively belittling another (the scapegoat)
d. is the spouse or ex (usually male) with a good enough income they can dictate how much is spent on the family, usually to their detriment.
e. has money but hoards or hides all of it, so they force a partner to pay more than their share of the bills.
This can also show up as the ‘friend / boyfriend’ who never seems to have their wallet with them when you’re out together
f. promises their adult-children, other relatives or long-term aids a large inheritance after their death, to keep (at least) one at their beck & call. Sadly, that victim may not get the money in the end
g. does spend money on a child, both young & later when grown, as a substitute for any form of emotional connection (paying them off)
h. throws money around in public to look grand & generous, but is stingy with their own family. This can be in the form of big donations to religious institutions or charities, OR showering it on buddies, bosses, clients, animals….
i. acts like they care about their spouse but is constantly lying about how much money they have (sooo little) so they can’t help out right now. They promise to do better soon, but never come up with the dough they owe
j. compulsively uses their parent or spouse’s bank account, to over-spend on expensive clothes, jewelry, plastic surgery, gurus, trips…. OR drugs, without agreement or permission
k. steals their aged parent(s) SS checks
l. refuses to pay child support, ever
m. spends all their mate’s bank account – or empties it – as punishment for not getting their own way, OR possibly for truly being mistreated
n. uses every legal & illegal means to hide money & assets – before a divorce – so the spouse is left with little or nothing
NEXT : What Narcs NEED you to BE #1