PREVIOUS: COVERT Narcissism (Part 1)

Audible BOOK (11 hrs) :”Trapped in the Mirror – Adult-children of Ns….” ∼ Elan Golomb

C-Ns = covert narcs

COVERT SPECIFICS (cont) 
❥ Overts are terrified of being alone – an exaggeration of the Extrovert side of the MBTI E-I continuum.

◽️Coverts are much more comfortable being alone, a general preference for Introverts. However with C-Ns, this can be taken to an extreme. Cs can isolate to the point of emotional & psychological starvation – when combining self-hate (S-H), weak boundaries, fear of abandonment (FoA), fear of commitment (FoC) & fear of responsibility (FoR).

❥ Cs are more likely to suffer from depression, from a history of being abused & lacking even a small amount of support. Being less communicative than Extroverts many Cs lead double lives – like being orderly at work but messy in their home. This can turn into paranoia – having a lot to hide.
Their introversion can become warped by the severity of Narc traits, forcing them deeper into silence.  Over time this plunges them into abject misery – as it gets harder & harder to gather enough ‘supply’ to keep the False Self (FS) from collapsing.
In that case, the FS (false self) – which needs fuel to survive – turns in on itself, devouring whatever’s left inside. So, to survive, they use extremes of pity-ploys or people-pleasing to get the strokes that will keep them going.

The FS is a combination of patterns turned into a defensive identity, developed in childhood to cope with a neglectful & abusive family life. It’s a version of themself they hope will be more acceptable to others – but at a great cost. As they grow up, they’ll defend the FS like it’s a life-or-death issue, since IT’s all they have.

They become totally invested in making sure everyone else accepts & admires the FS, taking great pains to hide the ‘Real’ one. Like Overts, they too are afraid to dig behind their defense walls to liberate the True Self, which is buried deep, along with any true empathy for others.

❥ Another version of Coverts are the Wolves in sheep’s clothing.
Many C-Ns seem gentle & humble. Some like to portray themself as empathy itself, angels in human form – dedicated to the path of ‘enlightenment’. They can reel you in by appealing to your empathy & caring side, & their lack of obvious arrogance can unfortunately numb your fears & suspicion.
These C-Ns will compulsively rescue everyone, perform many good deeds & help charitable organizations…., thriving on feedback from their community that will say “You’re such a good person!” However, behind closed doors they can be tyrants.
However,
Wolves disguise their true intentions. THEY:
1. will charm you first, to give the impression they care
2. seem sweet on the outside, but eventually bare their teeth
3. manipulate through emotions to get what they want
4. tell ‘stories’ that are full of holes , BUT
5. live to take power, instead of empowering others (Explanations…)

NEXT: Ns financial abuse