✫ Principles of Communication
⭐︎ Barriers to Communication (w/ Chart)
Study BOOK : “Interplay” – 12 Chapters re Comm. w/ extensive outlines for each
QUOTE: “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you” ~ Dale Carnegie
Ways to CATEGORIZE Communication (comm).
1. Re. CONTENT
PURPOSE : Some common professional communication purposes include —> to inform, which includes providing good and bad news, to instruct, to request & to persuade. While some communications have a single purpose, others may have a primary or secondary purpose, or combine several.
CONTENT : This refers to all the written substance, images, audio files, video files…. which make up a communication. After identifying an audience & a purpose, identify specific information to include in the message.
Content can include anecdotes, examples, facts, observations, statistics & testimonials. Ask : Why am I writing / talking about this? What do I want the audience to understand?
EXPs of content can be : banner ad, blog post, chatbot, event, subject line of email, words in a product … In all these cases, someone identified the need to communicate something (the what). And so someone designed, in the broadest sense of the word, some content (the how).
Communication has a content dimension involves the information being explicitly discussed, AND a relational dimension which expresses how you feel about the other person.
TEA: The greater the need to express (A) our inner-most opinions (T) & emotions (E), the more we risk – being misunderstood, ridiculed or rejected – so the the harder it is to do. At it’s best, successful speaking requires know what we’re trying to accomplish (our goal) and enough Self-confidence to put it across.
To minimize social & personal risks, it’s imperative to move through the levels slowly, in the right order & one at a time, starting with the least personal (phatic), rather than trying to jump from Level 1 to 5 overnight – as ACoAs tend to do!
CHART➡️ mirrors degrees of intimacy (Relationship Stages)
✳️ The normal, socially acceptable way to interact is for participants to match levels, so most people expect others will reciprocate from the same ‘intensity’.
Sharing our most personal ideas & feelings should be reserved for those we’ve known well for some time & trust – a function of attention, confidence, commitment, experience & time.
So, if anyone else starts out comm. at level 4 or 5, you may have a knee-jerk tendency to match it, sharing too much in return. This is not wise, since the other person is over-disclosing (& then so are you), which suggest they have weak boundaries & are trying to symbiose, i.e. not mentally / emotionally ‘safe’. To comm. this way is pseudo-intimacy, & can’t form a healthy bond.
1. CLICHÉ LEVEL – is freely given to everyone. It’s Polite
Conversation, that helps put people at ease or just passes the time.
The shallowest & least risky (“nice weather, pass the sauce…”)
2. REPORT FACTS about OTHERS – re. info & events, said to people we’ve met more than a few times. It’s sharing about what someone else has said or done (“Fred bought a new car…”)
4. Share FEELINGS or EMOTIONS to a trusted few, revealing what’s under our ideas & judgements (#3), telling how we feel about PPT (“I was so happy when…..”)
5. UNGUARDED FREEDOM to be COMPLETELY HONEST with another. We can legitimately self-disclose to 1 other or in a safe group, & they reciprocate. We share our deepest dreams, fears hopes & emotions, because the risk factor is no longer an issue. Each side have proven to be available & caring & reliable, so it’s OK to trust. (“My deepest secret is….”) From John Powell
NEXT : COMMUNICATION Categories – Types (Part 2)