PREVIOUS: Confident #4
QUOTES: “To wish you were someone else is a waste of the person you are.” Meelia121
• “Confidence, like art, never comes from knowing all the answers. It comes from being open to all the questions.” ~ Earl Gray Stevens, UK peer
CONFIDENT People (cont):
• are free to assume“Why not?, Why not me?” Truly confident people know they have access to many PPT, with the right to ask for & get a piece of whatever’s available in their environment – but done fairly & legitimately
They know there’s ‘enough for everyone’ (attention, connection, recognition, love….), so they don’t have to wait endlessly (for permission) to express their ideas or get what they’ve earned – to be acknowledged, chosen, ‘discovered’, given info, helped, hired, promoted….
They create networks & relationships, often quietly behind the scenes. They choose their own path instead of following the most used one
• are shrewd (clever, crafty – not sneaky). Being practical, savvy & having good judgement creates self-confidence, giving them an edge. They know when to keep going, & when to step away from a situation. They’re often good at quickly sizing up others, figuring out social hierarchies & potential hot buttons. When they combine being clever with wisdom, they can get a lot accomplished without stepping on toes.
BTW: Crafty means taking an existing idea & turning it into something new, exciting & dynamic, or coming up with fresh ideas at a moments notice, & able to deal with stress in ways most others would never think of doing
• are accepting & respectful. Confident people are often the most accepting of others, no matter their shortcomings – even when they don’t like someone – because they respect themselves & know that all humans are part of a larger whole. They can do this because they:
> know & own their own weaknesses, so don’t judge others
> understand everyone’s different, with their own process
> don’t need others to be a certain way to feel safe
> realize they don’t have the power to change others
➼ They try to live by: “I will do unto others as I would want them to do unto me & my loved ones.”
• trust their judgment. Instead of focusing on trusting others, they rely on their experience & observations to identify who’s safe & who’s not. They don’t need to second-guess themselves, because they know their rights as human beings, as well as their personal tastes & opinions
• celebrate their successes, & those of others. They’re proud of their accomplishment & appreciate any ‘good luck’ that comes their way. Even when they ‘lose’ to someone else, they’re truly happy when others do well, especially loved ones, because it allows them to be surrounded by accomplished & happy people. So they don’t mind when the spotlight shines on others.
THOUGHTS: Confidence is one of the most attractive & powerful traits we can have – when it’s grounded in self-esteem & respect for others. People are drawn to those who are comfortable with themselves.
• Confidence does not automatically come from genius or beauty, but by the way we think & feel about ourselves & the world. That means anyone can become confident. (YOU too!)
• Confident people search out & make use of all the resources available in their world to improve life for themselves & others
• Confident people are not ‘up’ all the time, which would be unhealthy & unrealistic. When they’re ‘down’, stressed, confused or it won’t be forever :
— they’ll be able to find a way under, over or around the discomfort, either by themselves or with help
— they can balance Emotions with realistic Thinking, not ignoring either side
➼ NO ONE has all of these positive characteristics – at least not 100% each. Confident people will have many of them – but in varying proportions, with some showing up early in their life, others not until much later.
REMEMBER: Progress, not perfection!
NEXT: Enneagram basics #1