PREVIOUS:  REAL vs FAKE – #2

SITEs: “How to tell if someone is lying to you“

QUOTE: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them  – the first time.” Maya Angelou

GP = Genuine Person
FP = Fake Person

NOTE: Fake people can fall into 2 broad categories:
a. The mean, selfish narcissists who are good at pretending to be friendly & interested in others, but are really angry, manipulative & (indirectly) controlling, sure they know what they’re doing.

b. The self-hating, fearful, depressed, needy co-dependents who don’t know who they are, desperate to avoid abandonment in any form, who try to feel OK by attaching themselves to Real people.

✦ Up-front
GPs can express their opinions & feelings clearly, so when they have a problem with you, they’ll talk about it directly. They’re ‘adult’ enough to deal with an issue respectfully, hoping a positive conversation will resolve it.
GPs think about the best way to deal with a dispute or hard feelings. They know that sometimes waiting a while before saying anything it better, & sometimes letting go is best.

vs.Sneaky
FPs are cowards when it comes to speaking up. They confuse self-assertion with confrontation (angry communication) – assuming assertion & processing out an issue is the same as attacking the other person.

This is because most of the the time they are angry & don’t know how to deal with it correctly. Instead, they’ll smile when they see you, but complain about you to anyone else who’ll listen.  When you’re back is turned you become the enemy, so they gossip, venting their frustration & annoyance by triangulating.

✦ No Ulterior Motives
GPs are honestly nice & helpful – because it makes them feel good to make others happy & safe. They don’t ne-e-ed recognition or praise, but do enjoy a thank-you. They don’t play games or have hidden motives. They consider the effect of their behavior on others – without losing their own identity.

Their relationships aren’t based on using others to get something for themselves. If they spend time with someone it’s because they genuinely want to, & are interested in them as a person. Whenever possible – within boundaries & reality – they’ll be available even when there’s nothing practical or material to be gained by it. EXP: they’ll reach out randomly to say Hi, or check on someone’s who’s having hard time – because they care.

vs. Ulterior Motives
FPs have that a “I’ll scratch your back IF you scratch mine” attitude. Usually they’re only nice when they want something. If they help, they expect a return, but if they sense there’s no reciprocation, they can’t be bothered.

▸ FPs always think about how they can be happy by using others. The carefully choose who to respect & when, based on what the other person can do for their image & personal gratification. They’re only nice when it suits them, since they only care about their own satisfaction. If others can help them or have something they want, they’ll be ‘your best friend’, but when the person has fulfilled their purpose, the FP will be gone without a trace.

✦ Cleaning Up Messes
GPs take care of their own messes, which are relatively rare. However, being thoughtful & generous, they may end up compensating for or cleaning up after a dysfunctional person they care about, whether physically or emotionally. But being healthy, GPs also have a limit. When someone persists in being irresponsible or has gone too far, GPs with back off or back out altogether. (Cartoon)

vs. Making Messes
Many FP are selfish, immature users. They try to get away with as much as possible, taking advantage of anyone who’s willing to rescue them.
EXP: They may ask for one thing which the helper agrees to, & then spring on them a sting of other “requests” (expectations / demands) added on to the first – at theist minute, when it’s too late to change the situation.
And, some FPs are perverse enough that they’ll make messes even worse on purpose. 

NEXT: Real FRIENDS

PREVIOUS:
REAL vs FAKE – #1

SITEs:
▪︎  The Science Of Smiles, Real & Fake

GP = Genuine Person
FP = Fake Person

✦ PRIVATE 
GPs are comfortable in their own company. Being alone is needed for self-reflection, & they know everyone benefits from down-time to process & recharge. This is not isolation, but rather a comfort zone, whether occasionally enjoying some solitude at home or going places unaccompanied. “Healthy” others will understand & respect this need, & some maybe even learn to do the same for themselves.
PS: Introverts need this more often than Extroverts.

vs. PUBLIC
Regardless of their MBTI type, many FPs don’t like to be on their own for too long,  surrounding themselves with lots of events, groups & acquaintances. Not everyone will see their true colors & so will fall for their manipulations, thinking they’re ‘great’.

Some will do whatever it takes to stay center-stage, showing off, constantly talking, or playing victim to get sympathy by talking about their misfortunes, even throwing a ‘tantrum’.

✦ PRIVATELY HELPFUL
GPs ALSO don’t need to brag or go out of their way to get recognition – for doing something good for another person or group (professional help or as a favor). But it’s more important to them to do a good job & that others are encouraged & helped.

vs. HELPING for RECOGNITION 
FPs think they’re vital to other people’ lives (no-one can do without them!). They try to live up to others’ expectations, always wanting to be (or seem like) the ‘good guy / gal’, trying to please everyone.
They’ll rush in to be helpful – even when someone doesn’t need it or didn’t ask, then tell everyone about it so they can feel important. At work – they want to look like the boss’s favorite, but others can usually tell they’re not sincere.

✦ HUMBLE
GPs don’t need to brag. While it’s natural & healthy to be proud of one’s achievements, & to share them with others, GPs know it’s not imperative. They have enough self-esteem to be modest – but not self-facing (false humility). They can easily talk about their own positive experiences & abilities – or not.

vs. ARROGANT
FPs are generally more materialistic & self-gratifying. They have a hard time empathizing with others, only interested in promoting their own agenda.
Because they need to be the center of attention, they’re constantly bragging about their assets & achievements, talking up even their smallest action to get admiration & praise. They often embellish stories or outright lie, & tend to tell the same story over & over

✦ RELIABLE
GPs are not afraid to take responsibility for their life, without having to be perfect. They always make an effort to keep their commitments, & if they can’t for any reason, they admit it with a sincere apology. They don’t need to make excuses, & while sometimes a non-whiney explanation is appropriate, at other times none is required.

However, what really makes the difference is that GPs takes time to consider if they can realistically follow-thru on something, so don’t make promises easily or often, & never just to people-please.

vs. UNDEPENDABLE
FPs are not great at taking personal responsibility – for any of their T.E.A.s. They can talk a big game, agreeing to or offering to do things, but rarely follow through. They’re the ones who make plans with you, but often cancel – & usually at the last minute. They carelessly make promises, wanting to feel important without having to earn it.

When called out, they come up with a list of excuses, even recycling the same old ones. They may be people-pleasers, afraid to say no, don’t think they’re in control of their own destiny, or they feel entitle & basically are inconsiderate.

✦ LISTENING
GPs are careful, attentive listeners, noticing what someone is saying about themselves, without the GP having to give advice or insist on their opinion. IF asked, they offer their experience, options & suggestions, without having to ‘be right’.

vs. PRETEND to LISTEN
FP will either talk over others, interrupt, insist on giving advice (only their point of view), or only listen if there’s something juicy for them to pass along (gossip’).

NEXT: GPs vs FPs #3

PREVIOUS: MBTI Feeling as INF

SITEs: The truth on FAKE & REAL People

▪︎ “Why Empaths Freeze around Fake People”

▪︎ “Overcoming Fake Talk”

QUOTE: “The BEST way to deal with FAKE people is to BE REAL with them”

GP = Genuine Person
FP = Fake Person

Telling the difference between a fake & a genuine person is a great skill to have. It will keep you away from those who don’t have anything positive to offer, or just want to take advantage.

NOTE: Genuine people are NOT perfect, not perfectly healthy, not free of limitations & weaknesses
BUT – they DO have a decent amount of self-esteem & a low level of anxiety, good boundaries, & are aware that others can & will have their own (different) point of view about things.

✦ RESPECTFUL 
GPs make an effort to respect everything & anyone, taking people’s feelings into consideration. They don’t look down on others, wanting everyone to feel appreciated & important, no matter the situation. At the very least they’re polite to everyone, or appropriately friendly, not just when they’re in a good mood, or when they think it’ll give them some advantage.

vs. CONDESCENDING 
FPs can be deceptively well-behaved, but not to everyone, mainly showing respect to those in power, to get something out of every situation. They try to get close to ‘important’ people, & won’t give you the time of day if you don’t have something they can benefit from.  If it means using some acting skills, they will.

✦ OPEN
GPs are generally transparent, so others know where they’re coming from, both positively & negatively.  (“Say what you mean but don’t say to mean”) They’re not afraid to admit having limitations & vulnerabilities, but also know how to deal with hurts & protect themselves when appropriate.
They don’t sweat the small stuff, nor nit-pick about imperfections, knowing they themselves are also not perfect.

vs. CLOSED
FPs have defensive walls, manipulating the truth, to never show others their vulnerable side. They don’t want people to know they have weaknesses – not being ‘perfect’, so they put on a great show to make themselves look happy & self-sufficient. They don’t ask for help, then get resentful when others don’t ‘intuit’ what they need.

✦ CURIOUS
GPs are tolerant of new ideas, knowledge & truth. They don’t pretend to know everything, so are attracted to others with expertise to learn from them, & appreciate the time someone takes to give them information.
They don’t have to accept and agree with what someone else thinks – but are willing to pay attention, wanting to  improve themselves.

vs. LIMITED
FPs are set in their ways, not interested in evaluating their point of view about anything, nor broadening their understanding of the world. They need to make themselves look superior & more knowledgable the everyone else. They feel the need to have an answer for everything, even if they don’t know about a subject, or are completely wrong. They’d rather be right than fair. 

✦ KIND
GPs express, encourage & spread compassion & understanding. While they know ‘things’ have some value, they put more emphasis on personal values & forming strong relationships. GPs support others to do their best, & encourage them to ‘keep going. They’re comfortable hearing others talk about their creativity & accomplishments – being gracious, admiring & give praise where it’s due.

vs. CRITICAL
FPs don’t accept responsibility for mistake they make. Instead they try to make others feel like they’ve done something wrong & are to blame.

They expose their insecurity by constantly criticizing, making fun of or putting down people/ place/ things, feeling great (& relieved) when finding mistakes in others’ work or personal weakness, & telling everyone about it.

They can’t be happy for anyone else, belittling & undermine other people’s happiness, because they’re envious & feel diminished. To keep up their self-image FPs can do a lot of harm.

NEXT: Real vs Fake #2

PREVIOUS: Thinking as Inferior Function

SITEs :• LINKS re Inferior functions

•  “No, you don’t need to develop your inferior function”

• Mistyping and Inferior Fe?

• Underdeveloped vs developed inferior functions

A JUDGING function
The F function can produce fears about: feelings being hurt, not supported, being misunderstood, not living up to one’s ideals/standards

 

PREVIOUS: Intuition as INF

SITEs: • “Inferior Functions in Depth”

• 16 Types:  Inf functions

A JUDGING function
The T function can produce fears about: losing power & control, failure & inadequacy, being stupid or incompetent

SOURCES :  Heidi Priebe / MBTI Database / MTI Notes / funkymbtifiction

NEXT: FEELING as INF

PREVIOUS: Function Overview

SITEs: Comments on INF Functions 

• “Inferior Functions in fiction”

• “I’d Rather Not Be This Way“

A PERCEIVING Function
The S function can produce fears about: health & mortality related pressures, physical safety, material security, missing out

PREVIOUS: Function development

SITEs: “Objective Personality” (+ more)

▪︎ How to recognize each MBTI Type (good detail)

⬆️ A look at what’s important to Js & Ps 

⬆️ Degrees of mental health for each function 

⬆️ Fundamental focus of each part of a stack – Sensing, Intuition, Thinking, Feeling, as either Introvert or Extrovert
«

⬆️ INFERIOR Function is what you aspire to. (More….)

a. When (INF) thinks it can heal the Self, if it usurps the role of the DOM
b. When Inferior (INF) function wants to show off – if it just tries really hard, even though it’s not strong enough to lead

➡️ The healthiest use of our Stack – learn about, acknowledge & fully USE the part of us that comes most naturally from birth. The other 3 functions can then support & augment, to make our life more successful
⬆️ Emoticons.   Also – a VARIATION

NEXT: SENSING as INF

PREVIOUS: Attractivenessthe INF

SITEs: “Learn all about MBTI”
▪︎ MANY links at “Mental Symmetry“

✦ REVIEW
Birth to about age 13
We develop our DOM function. It’s the most obvious in children, & the one they will have the most control of throughout life. Glimpses of their auxiliary function will be seen as well, but underdeveloped & not quite balanced

13 to about 21
The AUX function develops, in support of the DOM. For Introverts, the AUX will be shown to the outside world, while the Dom is less visible – at first

DOM & AUX are the 2 most relied-on functions, & make up about 90% of our personality type

21 to mid-40s
The TER function develops. While this will never be as strong as the first 2, it will help balance them out if developed properly

40s through 70s
The INF is gradually developed. For many it will always be a weak point in the personality, since it’s rarely going to be as easy to use as the first 2. However, with proper practice & persistence, we can greatly benefit from its addition

✦ Normal personality growth happens in stages which correspond to the order of our specific functional stack, so by observation we can see which stage someone happens to be in, because chances are they’ll gravitate to people who have a weaker function higher up in their stack, in an unconscious attempt to learn from them.

EXP: An INTP (Ti-Ne-Si-Fe) who is having trouble using their Si-Tert successfully (lazy, sloppy, procrastinating….) may hang out with an ESFJ (Fe-Si-Ne-Ti) or an ISFJ (Si-Fe-Ti-Ne) to see how those people organize / structure their life.

Se will look to SPs or NPs for adaptability
Si will look to SJs or NJs for discipline

Ne will look tot NPs or SPs for openness
Ni will look to NJs or SJs for expertise

Te will look to TJs or TPs for competence
Ti will look to TPs or TJs for self-possession

Fe will look to FJs or FPs for compassion
Fi will look to FPs or FJs for moral virtue

✦ Any Undeveloped Function (BY eilamona )
▸ Usage is in its raw, basic form
▸ Usage is usually one-dimensional & not adaptable (like: an undeveloped inferior Ne who only sees negative possibilities)
▸Is present but untrusted & undervalued by the user

▸ User who doesn’t recognizes an undeveloped function’s influence on their thought process will have little or no control over it
▸ When it becomes prominent, usually under pressure, the undeveloped function is explosive & uncontrollable (INF in “Grip”)

Any Developed Function
▸ It’s multi-faceted, so can be used in many complex ways
▸ It easily adapts to & supports many different life situations

▸ The user has mastered the function, trusts their ability to use it in their thinking, & consciously consults it often
▸ Being comfortable with the function, the user relies on it to make important decisions in life

Any Unhealthy Function
▸ It’s used in negative, unproductive & destructive ways, toward self & others
▸ It’s often used in isolation, not interacting with other functions of opposite E / I preferences (such as a DOM/TER loop with an undeveloped AUX), unless other functions are also unhealthy

EXP: An INFJ girl with an unhealthy Ni-Fe “knows” that her friend is dating a ‘wrong’ person who’s likely to cheat. So she plans & proceeds to sabotage the friend’s relationship through manipulation, because she’s sure she knows what’s best, without asking what the friend actually wants (true story)

Any Healthy Function
▸ It’s used in beneficial, productive ways (to self/ others)
▸ It works well with other functions around it

EXP: If the same INFJ girl has a healthy Ni-Fe, she may notice that her friend’s new romantic partner is very non-committal. She cares about her friend & her ‘wants’, so decides to talk to her about it.
It turns out the friend is already aware, & explains the partner will be leaving the country in a few months anyway, so it’s ok. The INF respects her friend’s choice, and will be supportive in future if/when she may have relationship problems, but will never be the cause of them!

NEXT: Function overview

PREVIOUS: Dangerous Types #1

 ⛩ INTUITIVE / THINKING Types (MORE… for the healthy version of each)

▪︎ Destructive INTPs are haughty & careless, drifting in their own little world. They avoid responsibilities, neglecting or ignoring family & anyone in their care. They scoff at moral codes, treating people like tools or objects to use & throw away, talking harshly & not caring about the hurt they cause.
They like to toy with others just to see what happens, since to them everything is about cause-&-effect or experimentation. They look down on ‘the masses’ for being less intellectual or ‘enlightened’. They don’t care what others do as long as they’re left alone, & anyone who tries to connect with them is avoided or treated with silent hostility

▪︎ Destructive ENTPs are arrogant, dishonest & self-centered. They live in a constant haze of ideas, which is not bad by itself, but this type will go to any lengths to chase those ideas. They may lie, trick or steal from others to get what’s needed to reach their next goal. They may also enjoy messing with people – like Trolling is considered ‘good fun’ – unaffected by any pain they cause. They’re totally undependable, abandoning ‘loved ones’ to follow ever-changing whims. They’re a charming & good-hearted friend to anyone showing interest in their plans, but the minute that person rejects an idea, the ENTP will mock, bully or discriminate against them

▪︎ Destructive INTJs are cold, arrogant & controlling. They’re contemptuous of & condescending to anyone who doesn’t value their same vision or sense of logic. They believe their intuition & predictions are always right, stubbornly sticking to their ideas without ever considering other viewpoints. They get agitated & vindictive toward anyone who criticizes or contradicts them

They may enjoy belittling others & taking sarcastic jabs, considering themselves more enlightened & intelligent than the rest of humanity. They either isolate because they’re so disappointed in their fellow man, or they’ll micro-manage everyone, forcing them to obey every command. If their vision is evil, they’ll be terrifyingly effective at forming plans that would be disastrous for humanity

▪︎ Destructive ENTJs are dominating, aggressive & quick-tempered. They have a clear vision for the future & will try to force everyone to follow their ideas, ignoring other points of view. Everyone else’s feelings & values are considered stupid, since they’re extremely proud of their ‘logical superiority’. They have a fiery temper & can be intimidating bullies, using a quick wit & cold hard logic as weapons to humiliate & silence opponents. They consider themselves above emotions & subjective feelings but will become moody, wallowing in self-pity when things don’t go their way. They enjoy using their intuitive perceptions to play mean tricks. Domination is their game & they get increasingly power-hungry as they devolve.

= = = = = =

🌠 INTUITIVE / FEELING Types

▪︎ Destructive INFPs are self-absorbed & self-righteous, wavering between being passive & blatantly judgmental. They love living in fantasy, ignoring practical realities of daily life, neglecting or abandon family & anyone else who cares about them. They feel morally superior or more ‘righteous’ than anyone else, so married to their idealism that everyone in the real world seems flawed & disappointing. They isolate & silently criticize, over time becoming harsher & more condemning. They can get so obsessed with their own inner imagination that they avoid or berate anyone who tries to find a way into their heart

▪︎ Destructive ENFPs are manipulative, self-absorbed & disloyal. They believe the world revolves around their interests & ideas, only ‘caring’ about others based on how much they can get from them. They jump from one idea or relationship to the next, flaking on plans & shirking responsibilities without a second thought. Inspiration & stimulation is everything, & they’ll try to grab them any way possible, even by deceit or immoral acts. They’re so sure of their own visions that they lash out at anyone who opposes them or questions their abilities. They ignore physical needs, & can become more self-destructive as health & nutritional needs are neglected

▪︎ Destructive INFJs are manipulative, scheming & self-righteous. Above all, they want to fulfill their vision for the future, going to any lengths to reach their goals, using people in the process. They rationalize their actions based on ‘the end justifying the means’, not valuing human interactions, living in a subjective fantasy world.

They consider themselves more broad-minded than others, assuming any input from the outside is worthless. When they hurt someone they don’t feel guilty, but will try to avoid that person, to not face their own wrongdoings. In ‘close’ relationships they’re often passive-aggressive, using people’s shortcomings against them for blackmail. When called out, they’ll slide into self-pity, & shut out anyone who doesn’t show them complete approval

▪︎ Destructive ENFJs are dramatic, overbearing & manipulative. They like to influence or push people into conforming to their opinions & “vision”. They’re convinced their way is always best, so anyone who disregards their ‘friendly’ advice is bullied passive-aggressively. They respect rank & authority, treating those people with respect & eager attentiveness, while looking down on anyone they feel is less ‘sophisticated’. They share other people’s secrets without remorse, pick on the underdog, & kiss up to anyone who can help them advance a vision or idea for the future. They’ll seem incredibly warm & exuberant in person, then ridicule & mock you to others behind your back.

NEXT: