PREVIOUS: Power Bases

SITEs : Right Way to Respond to Negative Feedback 

• 5 Secrets to Giving Constructive Feedback

REVIEW : 2 main FORMS of Power
1. COERCION (‘Hard’) : threaten to use force, actual use it &/or use negative sanctions.  Pain or punishment is inflicted by person A, who possesses power —> toward B, who has less power

2. INFLUENCE (‘Soft’):  No threat or use of force. Most common & Most effective, esp. important when coercion is not possible.
EXP: political speeches, journalism, media & advertising, inter-personal relations, classrooms….. 

a. by Persuasion: Person A is sincere, using the “force of the better argument”, by explanations, examples, illustrations, justifications.

b. by Manipulation : Person A conceals their true intentions : lying, real reasons not given, lack of informed-consent by actor B.

Aspects of power
Relational :  based on the social relationship
Sanctioning : an active component of the power relationship, as direct manipulations of the other’s outcomes, using rewards or punishments.
Dependency : power residing implicitly in the other’s needs, particularly evident in organizations with inter-dependence of personnel & ⬅️ subunits (horizontal power / relationships across departments).

DEPENDENCE is an important aspect of supporting power. Possession of or influence over an organization’s resources which someone needs, gives the resource-holder power. The greater B’s dependence on A, the more power A has. Power increases when the resource are :
🥊 Important = must be valuable & worthwhile, because If nobody wants what you have, there’s no dependence
🥊 Scarce = difficult or impossible to achieve, or to find elsewhere. EXP: If there are few workers relative to demand, they can negotiate compensation & benefit packages
🥊 Not substitutable = one-of-a-kind, so can not be replaced. The fewer viable substitutes for a resource available to the user / consumer, the more options they have to evade dependence.

However, individuals / groups / organizations can minimize dependency by co-opting, contracting, using co-operative strategies & seeking prestige. (Do Tien Long)

❇️ REVUE posts on Power Bases – to see the different managerial styles that employees react to. 

A POWER BASE is effective to the extent that it produces both attitude & behavior compliance. ‘Attitudinal’ refers to how well the subordinate is willing to follow the bosses directives or wishes. ‘Behavioral’ is the accuracy & extent to which the subordinate actually carries out those instructions.

CONSEQUENCES of Positional & Personal Power (UK research, 1999)
• Coercive P lead to employee resistance, decreased job satisfaction & increased mistrust of leadership
• Legitimate P is the common style to evoke compliance with boss’ requests, but not correlated to task commitment
• Expert & Referent P – used as influence by effective leaders : positively correlated with subordinate satisfaction & performance

• Rewards – when announced, lead to higher employee satisfaction & performance – if the reward is what they want
• Punishment – some – when combined with rewards, can have a positive effect on subordinates performance

★ COMPLIANCE = Subordinate is willing to do what the leader asks, but may be apathetic rather than enthusiastic, with only minimal effort
★ COMMITMENT = Subordinate agrees with decisions or requests, & makes a great effort to cary them out effectively

★ OBEDIENCE / CONFORMITY
Generally, people obey either thru coercion, consent, or some combination. However, at present – obedience has become a form of social conformity, in response to authority. But it is not inevitable & varies in degree depending on the situation.
WHY OBEY ? : 🪞Fear of sanctions (punishment)
🪞Indifference, Habit, level of Tolerance
🪞Lack of confidence in themselves, their judgement or capacity to DO
🪞Psychological or emotional identification with the leader
🪞Moral Obligation  = if command is considered legitimate &/or as an accepted norm of conduct, common good of society, superhuman efforts
🪞Self-interest = direct / indirect financial gain, in relative power position, for personal prestige   (From ‘Dynamics of Power‘)

★ RESISTANCE = Employee is opposed to the leader’s request & tries to avoid it.
A high proportion of change-initiatives flounder because of employee resistance. To succeed, leadership must pay attention to all forms of employee reactions during organizational changes.

LEADING & MOTIVATING
Group Leadership does not consist of one-formula-fits-all. Every team’s needs & desires are different, so specific leadership strategies are needed to achieve differing goals.  (See Leadership styles & Managerial TYPES)

A team member’s motivation may be both extrinsic &/or intrinsic.
• Intrinsic = the energy that comes from within the person – wanting to help achieve the work goal, because it aligns with the person’s own beliefs.
EXP: If team members finds the assigned task specially interesting, it will motivate them to implement it efficiently.

• Extrinsic = from external sources, & the manager is a key component who can use several ways to accomplish this.  EXP: Rewarding &/or punishing team members, to push them to do a certain project.

Intrinsic motivation is considered the best motivator, but managers can also help team members achieve this. (More…. )

NEXT: Employee resistance to change

PREVIOUS : POWER Sources, Personal / Positional

Source credibility directly impacts the effectiveness of whichever power base is used to persuade others, that is – a communicator’s positive or negative characteristics will affect the receiver’s acceptance or rejection of a message.

ORIGINS: Social psychologists John R. P. French and Bertram H. Raven conducted a remarkable study about power in 1959. They divided it into 5 separate & different Power BASES, which explain leadership’s way of thinking, action & decision making. Later research added several other forms.

1. POSITIONAL POWER BASES
a. Coercive – leader based their interactions on fear, the ability to impose their will by threat of sanction.  They’re in a position to punish others for nor doing what’s needed or what they wanted, such criticism for bad performance, threat of firing, lowering a bonus, changing vacation times, demotion, or firing. Its the opposite of REWARD

b. Ecological – The power to control the physical environment & structure in which people work, & making changes accordingly, understanding that these play a significant role in shaping human behavior.  Such power can be wielded with simple techniques such as temperature or lighting adjustments, or with complex architectural designs meant to enhance specific behaviors of employees.

c. Informational  – The power that come from access to information, such as control of data gathering & distribution, & to influence using facts & data. It’s the basis of decision making & leadership, so analytically strong people use it keep power. On the flip side, there are the gatekeepers or information hoarders, who thrive on the negative power & control, which harm specific teams & the org as a whole

d. Legitimate – The epitome of positional power, it comes from the authority of a person’s place in a hierarchy. But it also depends on a group of people willing to defer to seniority,

e. Reward – This stems from the inducements or rewards a leader can offer for doing what they want others to do or what’s needed to be done for the larger benefit. This can be intangible such as verbal praise & encouragement for good performance, or tangible, such as assigning  projects, giving raises or promotions….

2. PERSONAL POWER BASES
a. Avoiding Power – Refuse to act, get involved, or make decisions (eventually someone will get the message). This can only work if the person has enough personal clout to get away with avoiding going along with someone else’s agenda, either of a peer or a corporate entity without endangering their own position. However, it can harm the organization

b. Connection – This comes through networking – being able to use links to other influential people to support ones own, more direct, power. If the manager or leader does not have much of our own power to offer, the connects are not very useful, which become little more than reflected glory.

c. Expertise – people who have achieved some level of mastery of a subject, gained through knowledge & skills developed through study, practice & experience. but needs to be in kept current to maintain this power base. It gives such a person an authority that often commands great respect. Can be Neg or Pos – others will believe this person because of their level of knowledge, BUT may lead to following their advice against Co. policy or project goal

d. Referent – is the influence gained through personal relationships, charisma & likability, & used with or without integrity. Manager or leader can be being respected or admired by the team or stakeholders because of positive past experiences with this person….).
EXP: Persuasive Power, such as the ‘sales pitch’ – someone who can effectively ‘push‘ people toward a specific outcome or decision. (See future Post: : “Power – Influence Strategies“)

e. Resource – Neither Information nor Connection Power satisfactorily account for the power that certain ‘gatekeepers’ have in organizations. These people control access to wider resources: funds, equipment, supplies….. They’re often middle-ranking, junior or administrative colleagues with little legitimate power, nevertheless wield Resource Power by proxy, to meet their need for control in their workplace.

 NEXT: REACTIONS to Power

PREVIOUS: POWER Leadership

USE of POWER BASES
DEF: POWER TACTICS (PTs) are the ways a power-user (agent) translates power bases into specific actions.
In 1956 Norman H. Martin & John Howard Sims wrote an article about Power Tactics.
“Beneath the general principles, attitudes & ideals of ‘human relations’ lie the actual tactics & day-to-day techniques by which executives achieve, maintain & exercise power. Whether in business, government, education, or the church – executives have power, and use it.
They maneuver & manipulate to get a job done &, in many cases, to strengthen & enhance their own position. Power & politics are concerned with relationships of control or of influence. ” (More….)

Power tactics used to push or prompt others into action can be grouped into :
a. Behavioral – Soft tactics take advantage of the relationship between the power-person & the target. Hard tactics are direct, forceful & harsh, relying on concrete outcomes
b. Rational – make use of reasoning, logic & objective judgment (bargaining, persuasion), whereas non-rational tactics rely on emotionalism & subjectivity (evasion, put-downs)
c. Structural – exploit the relationship between individual roles & positions. Bilateral tactics (collaboration, negotiation) involve reciprocity from both the influencer & the target. Unilateral tactics are used without any participation on the part of the target.

Power involves the ability of one party – the “agent”, to influence another party – the “target”, and sometimes the agent is a group or org. rather than an individual. Influence can be over a single target person or over many, but the agent’s target can also be over things or events, attitudes & behaviors

People tend to vary in their use of power tactics according to who they are trying to influence & based on the group situation. EXP: Interpersonally oriented people tend to use soft tactics, and extroverts employ a greater variety of tactics than do introverts. Studies have shown that men tend to use bilateral & direct tactics, whereas women tend to use unilateral & indirect tactics. In the face of resistance, people are more likely to shift from soft to hard tactics to achieve their aims.

TARGETS : Power involves a reciprocal relationship between the agent (Ag) & the target (T) . This can be boss & worker, parent & child, advertiser & consumer….  teacher & class, minister & congregation, President & the Nation…..
TARGET AUDIENCE – a group of people who share certain characteristics such as ethnicity, values or lifestyle

The effectiveness of power tactics (PTs) will depend on how easily influenced the target is, which will depend on their :
a. Age – susceptibility to influence is strong in young children up to about 8 or 9, then decreases with age until adolescence, when it levels off
b. Culture – characteristics of the target’s culture affect their influenceability. EXP: people from an authoritarian culture are highly susceptible to influence, & vice-versa.

c. Dependency – how strongly the T needs what the Ag has. If the dependency is high, power influence will be high, or vice-versa.
d. Gender – as society’s views of the role of women are changing, there is less of a distinction by gender of influenceability

e. Intelligence – it’s been observed that more intelligent people are less susceptible to influence generated by Positional Power
f. Personality – research studies show a relationship between personality & influenceability. EXP: people who cannot tolerate ambiguity or who are highly anxious are more susceptible

g. Uncertainty – when the Agent is unsure about how appropriate or correct their actions are – it can determine their ability to influence their target about those same actions. Research: the more uncertain someone (T) is about the ‘legitimacy’ of a behavior, the more likely they’re influenced to change that behavior.

The CHOICE & USEFULNESS of PTs is influenced BY:
✫ Culture of the org., which affects user’s choice of tactic
✫ Country-specific culture – local values favor certain PTs over others
✫ Relative power of the tactic user – some tactics work better when applied downward, others are better upward
✫ How the request is taken – is it consistent with the target’s values?
✫ Type of request connected to the PT – is it legitimate?
✫ Sequencing of tactics – softer —-> harder work best
✫ Skillful use of whichever tactic is chosen

NEXT: POWER Characteristics

PREVIOUS :
Power Characteristics (#2)

SITE : “Feel the Power: Flexing EQ”

QUOTE: “The desire to impact others (nPow) can be responsibly sought for the purpose of doing good for the organization. NOT ALL power seekers are neurotic, despotic or troubled people (though some clearly are).
They can be effective, well adjusted & highly motivated. It turns out that power is the ultimate resource for human control, a tool that only the mentally healthy can wield successfully.” (McClelland 1982)

 General POWER SOURCES
🧩 Allies : numerical strength to support the positions held
🧩 Asset : from an accumulation of assets & possessions that are considered valuable (money, property, art…)
🧩 Authority : Social, Political, Religious, Military.  Demographics (individuals, populations, generations). Having access to human
resources, especially of high quality = educated, loyal & committed
🧩 BATNA availability =”Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement”. Having more back-up plans & options lead to more negotiating power

🧩 Bureaucratic : through practical intelligence & knowing how the system works
🧩 Expertise : skills, experience, including  implied knowledge
🧩 Information : being the only source of needed facts, plans, resources, outside connections
🧩 Intangible factors : character, charisma, competence, courage, honor, leadership, morale, prestige of position, reputation, social status

🧩 Material resources : agricultural or industrial output, cybernetic / information, natural resources, military capability
🧩 Mass Media : newspapers, all on line platforms
🧩 Network centrality : one group holding power over other groups
🧩 Sanctions : the ability to impose them, & how effective they are
🧩 Situational : temporary – granted to a person to deal with a specific problem / crisis (disasters), based on their special knowledge & skill
🧩 Time : dealing with time pressure, the ability to set time deadlines & making sure they’re reached, access to arbitrary free time

Expressions of GOOD Power & Politics
PROCESSES 
Acceptance of the rules of the ‘game’, consensus of core values, creative turbulence, empowerment , open conflict, positive-sum ‘games’, shifting coalitions & interests
OUTCOMES
Adaptiveness, abolish unproductive routines, flexibility, increased efficiency, overcome dependency & inertia, root out entrenched interests

MOTIVATION Factors = TURN-ONs
Achievement, Interesting & Challenging Work, Increased Responsibility, Involvement in Decision Making, Recognition for Accomplishments, Personal growth

MAINTENANCE Factors = KEEP-ONs
Administration, Company Policies, Interpersonal Relations, Money, Security, Status, Supervision, Working Conditions

🧳 In the corporate world, Power Styles used by senior managers directly influence the organization’s risk levels. Interestingly, power & politics are unacknowledged topics in the corporate world, so when risk managers do assessments, they ignore both. Depending on the circumstance, a leader needs to use various power styles. CHART compares extremes.

INTERPERSONAL POWER in Organizations (org.)
“Positional” (Hard): This is straight-forward top-down power, & comes with the title, budget, headcount & role – for whoever has the position. The power-holder is bound by organizational / institutional rules & regulations, with the aim of making sure people work together to reach the company’s goals.
Imagined as a math formula it would be:  COO > VP > Director > Mgr > Analyst.
This form does work, but like a hammer – blunt, short-term & tiresome. Like telling your child to do something, & when asked “why”, you answer : “Because I’m your father, & I said so.” It works, but it’s not really the best way to parent.

INDIVIDUAL POWER – in BIZ
“Relational” / Persuasive (Soft) : This is the primary currency in large organizations.  To be a highly effective leader, one needs something more than just a designation or title. Personal power flows from the leader’s internal features, such as credibility, experience, intelligence, skills, self-confidence…. Therefore, it cannot be taken away.

Such power is used to encourage people to work together, help each other out, team-up for success, forgive mistakes, & generally have each other’s back.  History is shared & so they become inter-related.
(“Influence” ∼ Robert Cialdini)

Best ACTIONS for the most profitable use of Power Resources:
Assertiveness, Coalition formation, Exchange, Ingratiation, Rationality, Upward appeal.
Most EFFECTIVE Base : Expert Power – Provides the organization with vital knowledge, abilities & skills. Employees learn from talented managers & internalize what they observe, to use on projects.

NEXT: Power Characteristics #4

PREVIOUS : Develop Authenticity (#2)

SITE : “Draw Your #TrueSelfie”  ⬅️ ARTWORK by Gabi @GabiPiper

2. How to MAINTAIN Authenticity 

√ Speak your truth
To speak your authentic truth means knowing who you are, knowing what you need & want, what you believe, & how you feel emotionally.
It does not mean over-sharing, blabbing everything you think & feel, nor saying unkind or insulting things, just because they happen to be true (accurate).

But when you speak up for yourself, ask for what you want or respectfully reject what you don’t want – you show others that you’re responsible, can be trusted, & that you trust others enough to show your genuine, vulnerable self. This requires having good boundaries & good judgement. The response from others is often positive, which make it easier to continue being authentic.

Instead, by being honest – first to yourself & then to others – you signal the subconscious that your imperfections are acceptable – therefore you are acceptable.

√ Make statements & decisions consciously
In our hectic world, we making decisions all the time. Unfortunately, a lot of them are made hastily in the moment, without considering the consequences. So slow down & make sure each decision supports Authentic Self. And don’t let anyone push you into making an important decision before you’re ready.

√ Develop yourself in authentic ways
 You may receive lots of career or relationship advice that’s not suited to Authentic Self. If you follow other people’s ideas, ignoring True Self, you get lost.

Your goals may or may not fit the typical “career ladder” so often promoted by society. So as you move along your life-path, pause to ask yourself if you’re pursuing the right goal, in the right way – for you. If not, you’ll likely to have a hard time enjoying either the process or the outcome, even if it looks great “on paper”.

√ Continue to monitor yourself
If you keep a behind-the-scenes monitor that keeps you self-aware, you’ll be in a position to catch those “off moments” when you veer away from Authentic Selves. Even if you don’t have time to examine what’s going on in the moment, you can review it later, & decide how to correct it in future.

3. Take Authenticity to the NEXT LEVEL

√ Strive to improve yourself
To keep progressing in life you will need to develop a growth mindset so you can learn from each lesson presented to you – before you can move on to higher insight.
Without the daily homework of paying attention to what life has to teach, you’ll keep getting the same lessons over and over –  until they’re learned. Being open to new inner & outer knowledge will let you grow more quickly, finding the best routes to achieve sustained authenticity.

√ Listen to your inner guidance or intuition
People call inner guidance many things. Following it is key to discovering & enhancing Authentic Self. It is only when Adaptive Self silences intuition that you lose the best path to travel. So keep an ‘open ear’ for the guidance in your gut – that still small voice.

√  Find your life purpose
Authenticity & purpose are closely linked: A deep sense of purpose is an expression of authenticity, while developing authenticity will allow you uncover your purpose!
🔅You may discover the courage of your convictions, & passionately burst to accomplish some worthy goal that moves you deeply enough to champion a specific cause leading to positive change.
🔅You may have an invention you want to promote, a company you want to develop, or a vision you want to manifest. Living authentically will make your purpose clear.

NEXT : Power – Sources

PREVIOUS : Being Authentic (#1)

SITE : “The Fine Line Between Helpful & Harmful Authenticity” (in Biz, how honest to be depends on resume & environment)

1. How to DEVELOP Authenticity (cont)

√ Observe yourself objectively
Notice how Adaptive Self lives in the present moment –  what you DO feel & believe, how you respond to challenges (problems/ issues) & react under pressure. Identify which ones feel authentic, & which ones are fake.

√ Develop the courage to face your fears
Humans tend to be most comfortable with what’s familiar, so the ‘new’/ unknown makes us uncomfortable, at least at first. Examining your inner core emotions & beliefs can be like exploring a foreign landscape. So when you find a disconnect between Adaptive & Authentic Selves, your heart may pound or hands get clammy, afraid to look too deeply into yourself for fear of what you might find.

For many of us, Authentic Self legitimately also has a lot of fear, sadness & anger from too much hurt, which is why Adaptive Self took over.

However, the original painful secrets we hide from ourselves are part of what make us who we really are now. So – as much as possible, slowly, courageously explore them.  Identifying, experiencing, accepting, & letting go of these buried emotions & memories strengthens Authentic Self.

√ Explore your values
Integrity, ethics & living our personal values is an effective way to be more authentic. The trouble comes when we’re so far from Authentic Self that we don’t even know what our values are. So consider what values you may have, & then think of ways to start living them.

√ Identify What you truly believe
Write down as many negative beliefs as you can hear that rule Adaptive Self. If you listen carefully, they’ll be loud & clear. These bad-parent & self-hating Toxic Rules keep you stuck, & always prevent you from being your True Self. (CRITIC ….)

Work at forming new positive statements about yourself that counter the self-limiting / self-destructive ones. Use info from the  lists of NEEDS, and RIGHTS to come up with realistic & kind phrases. Then repeat them everyday as positive affirmations to get them to stick, until they’re the ‘new norm’ in your head.

√ Love yourself & have Compassion for others
It takes positive self-regard for Authentic Self to blossom, so adding a daily dose of love & compassion helps your life flow better. One way is to regularly take several deep breaths & a brief time-out every day. 

Imagine each breath infused with loving energy. Whether as ballon balls, sun bursts or rays of colored light, invite love to enter your body.
Draw acceptance into your lungs & disperse it throughout, or send it directly to Authentic Self in your heart. As you feel the lightness, share some of it with friends & loved ones, which will also expand the love within!

√ Replace patterns & beliefs that no longer serve
When you recognize a thought or action that doesn’t represent Authentic Self, work on changing it. Visualization is a good tool for this.  Place the harmful thought or action in a mental bubble, & let it rise until it disappears. Or you can write it on a piece of paper, cross it out, crumple up the paper, even burn it (safely) – physical actions that help your subconscious understand your intentions.

√ Accept that developing authenticity takes time
Examining our True self is a life-long process, if we choose to keep developing. It takes perseverance – a day at a time – to winnow out beliefs & behaviors that no longer serve, & carefully replace them with more authentic ones. With our own patience & encouragement from others, we’ll align with True Self.

√ Go Slow – in developing Authenticity
We can be shocked when uncovering what’s been hidden in our subconscious. New raw awarenesses that come up too suddenly can disrupt our lives in unexpected ways.
Use moderation, proceed cautiously. When you discover a belief or memory that’s been limiting or covering up your authenticity, take as much time as you need to adjust, viewing it with self-compassion. Write about it & then share it with a safe, trusted person or group.

NEXT : How to MAINTAIN Authenticity (Part 1)

PREVIOUS : Personal Power GROWTH (3e)

SITE: “The Authenticity Paradox” (leadership in Biz)

21 POSTS re. “Ego-States – Basics….. ”

CHART ⬆️ “10 Guideposts for Wholehearted Living” , with explanations for each.

FROM : GAMES PEOPLE PLAY, by Eric Berne
☛ Adaptive Self = The Adapted Child ego-state is the young part of us which wants to know how to behave & what’s expected. It will mould itself to the total environment we grow up in. Broadly speaking,
— IF the circumstances are favorable, this part of us will develop into an adult who fits into their world with relative success & comfort
— IF circumstances are consistently difficult or traumatic, the Adapted child ego-state becomes the Wounded Inner Chid (WIC).

As a result, this part tends to run our life, & can include responses heavy with negativity, resistance, reactions or deeper hostility to our environment. This will show up as “character defects”, everything from extreme narcissism, to outright rebellion, to passive-aggression, to people-pleasing, to total passivity.

☛ Authentic Self (Natural)
The Natural Child ego states are the core of our being, from infancy to old age – what we were born as & born to be. It includes :
🪴 all our strengths (talents, attitudes, tastes, genetic tendencies, learning styles, personality type….) as well as
🌱 basic weaknesses (things we’re not good at, are not interested in, or the tendency to be attracted to dangerously exciting / negative influences….).

As a child, the Natural Self is largely un-self-aware, spontaneous, literal & concrete, likes to play, is open, trusting  & vulnerable. As an adult it pushes us to develop all of our capacities, within the limits of our environment.  (MORE….)
😎

“20 WAYS to BE a More Authentic Person“(Modified from article by Tchiki Davis, Ph.D., & Starr Sites)

NOTE: Many of these points are like the characteristics listed in the “Personal GROWTH” posts. They all have to do with Self-esteem – expressions of the Natural Child, Loving Parent & Healthy Adult.

1. How to DEVELOP Authenticity
√  Examine family-system Belief
Think back to episodes & messages in childhood that led to hiding your Authentic Self, & instead adopt a protective but unhealthy way of existing in this world (False Self). By examining where our present-day behaviors come from, we can learn what’s true & not true

√ Dialogue between Adaptive & Authentic Selves
Invite the 2 ‘persona’ to a dialogue – part of a thought exercise. Respectfully introduce both: Thank the Adaptive Self for helping you function through some painful & chaotic times, and thank Authentic Self for being your whole, real, core personality.

Mentally or in writing – pose questions & then urge each side to express itself fully, listening patiently to the responses. Try to accept what both sides have to say, as they may reveal things you’re not expecting.
EXP: • Authentic Self may be silent, afraid of silent rejection or outright abuse
• Adaptive Self may be overly- responsible, caretaking to protect you from feeling hurt, like so many times before 

These parts are running our lives for a reason. This exercise may help to understand why you act as you do, so you can decide what you want to change & what to keep.

√ Identify Discrepancies
Notice any inconsistencies between your actions & your beliefs.
EXP : If you catch yourself making a racist, sexist or other hurtful remark, check if you really believe these attitudes & beliefs, or are they ideas someone else taught you?

Remember, Adaptive Self just wants to fit in, so will act in ways that are inconsistent with Authentic Self. This was needed growing up. But now – acknowledging what’s truly you will allow you to function from the needs of Authentic Self, which requires self-honesty & self-awareness.

√ Examine Doubts
When trying to identify the qualities of Authentic Self, you may wonder how, and whether it’s actually possible to change Adaptive Self’s deeply ingrained cognitive distortion, or uncover what you don’t know about yourself – yet.

Doubts can be breadcrumbs that lead to Authentic Self. If you’re unsure about the OK-ness of a thought, action, emotion or experience…. ask what’s behind your discomfort or anxiety. Is Authentic Self trying to say “STOP. That’s not me !!” ?
OR are you not allowed to “Know What I Know” ?

NEXT : DEVELOP Authenticity (Part 2)

PREVIOUS :
PP – Implement (#3d)

3. HOW to IMPLEMENT Personal Power (cont)
🪴d. Speak up & share your opinions & ideas
🪴e. Be in Charge of Social Interactions

🪴f. Create Genuine Connections
PP knows to look for & find personal & professional connections with people who ‘get you’ – not for approval but rather validation, encouragement, fun, companionship & growth.
They need to be individuals & groups who understand what drives you, respecting you for who you are specifically, & are therefore a ‘safe place’ to be your authentic self. When you’re truly supported, it’s easier to express Personal Power. Even when you ‘fall’,  the right ones will encourage you to get back up & keep going. Everyone needs this.

🪴g. Know When to Ask for Help
PP is not afraid of or ashamed to ask for help when you need it. The key is knowing who to ask & how much each person can actually give. Admitting you don’t have all the answers is not a sign of weakness. In fact, powerful people know when to search out for missing info & feedback.
When you know what you need & then line up the resources to reach a goal or solve a problem, you increase the chances of being successful. This is a Power move.

🪴h. Build a Supportive Network
PP provides the courage to search for & use the help of others who have the right knowledge & compassion to see you thru to our True Self. PP knows you can’t create a successful life or career in a vacuum. Seek advice from mentors, sponsors, powerful female role models…. & observe how they express executive presence. Build mutually beneficial relationships with people you can help, & who will also champion your ideas, provide advice & information you need to be successful.

🪴i. Advocate for Yourself & Others
PP allows you to understand your value & how you contribute to successful business outcomes.  Then you can help your company achieve its goals. Look for ways to add value, creating visibility & credibility.
If you’re a boss, you can be the one who helps individuals reach their objectives, since PP is not diminished by advocating for subordinates or colleagues. Promote your team & their accomplishments. Show respect & express pride in their work, & they’ll respond in kind.

🪴j. Stay (be) Present
Personal Power does not exist in the False Self & is the opposite of dissociation (self-hate, being shut down, in denial…) 
Also, PP doesn’t only come from doing ‘more’. Balance is always needed.
Sometimes what’s best is clearing out internal & external distractions, so you can quietly pay attention, & stop missing moments to use your inner resources. Mindfulness can help to stay grounded in the present, so you don’t overlook wonderful & unexpected opportunities.

🪴k. Schedule Quiet Time
PP knows that down-time is part of self-care. Reconnecting with yourself without distractions allows you to find or reinforce your passion & life’s purpose.  In a culture that rewards busyness, it’s challenging to schedule guilt-free down-time to unplug & just ‘be’ with yourself. But it’s often in stillness that creativity can blossom. It’s amazing how spending a little quiet time each day will help you find solutions to long-standing personal or business issues, seen through a more intuitive & strategic lens. 

🪴l. Give it Away
PP is not something to flaunt, but rather control & moderate, depending on the situation or person you’re with. Sometimes, relinquishing PP is appropriate (not having something mainly be for you).
When you want to be authentic, compassionate & vulnerable, giving away your PP can benefit the social interaction & empower the other person. So it becomes your gift, a superpower you choose to temporarily forego – to win the trust & respect of those around you.

🪴m. Practice Forgiveness
PP is neither arrogant, nor ashamed. Holding a grudge against someone who’s hurt you doesn’t punish the other person – only yourself – by wasting time on them when you could be using that energy to be peaceful or productive. Forgiving someone is the best way to take back your power.
But be clear – forgiveness does not say what the hurtful thing someone said or did was OK. It’s choosing to let go of the hurt & anger that interferes with your ability to enjoy life.

NEXT : POWER

PREVIOUS :
PP GROWTH (3c)

REVIEW : Personal Power is based on confidence, competence & strength. It’s is seen in self-assertion, with a healthy striving for love, satisfaction & meaning,

3. HOW to IMPLEMENT Personal Power

🪴a. Adapt to Changing Conditions
To see things clearly requires being proactive & staying mindful of your thoughts, choices & actions. This allows you to see & interpret problems, challenges & obstacles correctly.

However, it’s not always easy to adapt. Sometimes, there are limited options, inadequate resources, & very little time. Even so, having Personal Power will sustain you – to work through issues with genuine confidence & self-assurance.

🪴b. Be Willing to Stand Out from the Crowd
PP is wise – you have a deep sense of you you are, so your actions are not driven by old anxieties (Toxic Beliefs). This allows you to know when to stand up & when to be quiet, when to take a back seat & when to shine. PP doesn’t have to prove anything but it also guides you to put yourself forward when you have something to contribute.
Always trying to fit in with the crowd disguises who you really are. Trust that you’re emotionally & mentally strong enough to stand out & risk to be different – when the time is right.

🪴c. Express Yourself Effectively
Personal Power includes knowing how to communicate clearly & directly – without anger, demands or manipulation. It allows you to effectively express your needs, desires & wants, form the courage & confidence to share emotions, beliefs & opinions without being limited by fear of how others may respond. This confidence also helps weather judgment, criticism or rejection when it crops up.

PP is about clearly stating what you want, then doing what’s appropriate to follow through. Being assertive, of course, doesn’t
mean being aggressive. Rather, it’s having healthy intentions grounded in self-esteem, then tactfully, respectfully acted on. 

🪴d. Speak up & share your opinions & ideas
You own your PP when you share your thinking process & ability to brainstorm with others. Not every one of your ideas will be applauded or on target, but over the long haul many will be.  As you prove your worth, people will seek you out for suggestions & insights. AND, it’s OK to know some things, so if a subject is  important to you personally or for work, you can find out & learn.

🪴e. Be in Charge of Social Interactions
An external way to see if you’re actively using PP is how you interactions with other people. Whether personal or in business, some will go smoothly, others can turn into a power struggle, if one or both of you try to have the upper hand.

In all social situations it’s important to stay tuned into your PP, keeping a lookout for ways you may relinquish or lose it.
BEFORE any important interaction, ASK:
⚛︎ What do I want, going into this situation?
⚛︎ What’s my specific intention for being there?
⚛︎ What do I hope to get out of it?
⚛︎ What do I need to know & do to make it work out?

AFTERWARD, ASK :
☛ How successful (empowered) was I during this interaction?
☛ How did I express my personal power?
☛ How clearly & well, did I communicate my needs?
☛ What did I think, say or do that increased my PP?
☛ What did I think, say or do that reduced my PP?
AND :
🪴 If I consistently give away my PP, what do I need to change in myself?
🪴 If I only give away my PP in a particular way, or in a specific circumstance, what do need to do differently to ensure I act on my rights to stay empowered?

These Qs will help you stay present & awake, to ensure you make the best of every situation, never giving away your PP unnecessarily.

NEXT : Implementing PP, Part 2

PREVIOUS :
PP – GROWTH (Part 3b)

2. HOW TO GROW Personal Power (cont)

🍃a. Take Responsibility for How you Feel
PP means accepting that it is up to you to identify & admit what’s going on inside, so you can manage how you behave. Thoughts —> beget —-> emotions. Together, they —> beget actions.

Regardless of how others behave, your emotional responses are yours alone. How you feel about some action or comment will depend on your personal history & what you’re thinking about the event.

🍃b. Be in Charge of Disruptive Emotions & Harmful Impulses
Personal Power includes the ability to tame &/or redirect emotional reactions, and therefore the actions that result. Drowning in intense emotions & negative behaviors are self-sabotaging forces which need to be dealt with. (‘Acting out’)

Overcoming / outgrowing unhelpful habits that hold you back from being your best means developing emotional intelligence that promotes self-care so you can pursue your talents & dreams. (Self-regulation)

🍃c. Commit to Self-Development
To nurture Personal Power requires a commitment to self-development – first & foremost as a mindset – a driving desire to grow your intellect & emotional resilience.
This includes :
√ developing self-confidence, self-worth & self-esteem, and
√ a devotion to lifelong learning, progressively & consistently gathering needed knowledge, experience & skills that help propel you toward your goals.
√ having a growth mindset, which means being curious, listening & learning from others. You can’t be an expert in everything, but making an open mind strengthens PP.
These can transform you from an “If only I had….” fantasy-hero, into the True hero of your life.

🍃d. Recognize & Nurture Innate Gifts
PP is not arrogant, & therefore is not ashamed of admitting & valuing who you are. It never minimizes things you do naturally, easily & well – as ‘unimportant’ – such as the ability to absorb info quickly, listen well, make others laugh, be creative, want to ‘grow’, do math / science easily, have excellent intuition.….
Growing innate gifts raises your self-esteem & circle of influence, showing how resourceful you are, & which can lead to opportunities you didn’t expect.

Remember that the brain will stay ‘fresh’ well into old age IF you keep learning new things! Repetition & boredom kills.

🍃e. Form Healthy Boundaries
An important aspect of Personal Powers’ self care is having good boundaries (not to loose or too rigid). This requires that you know what your needs are and provide them – as much as realistically possible. Only then can you decide how much to let in from your environment, & how much to let out of your knowledge, time & efforts.
Establishing healthy PMES boundaries gives you control over how you spend your time & who you spend it  with.

🍃f. Have Clearly Written Goals
Personal Power included internal mental & emotional clarity. which eliminates or minimizes inner confusion & conflict. Setting clear goals is absolutely critical because it’s the foundation for pursuing any objective. They can be both short-term & long-term.

They provide a sense of certainty that you can use the skills, knowledge & practical experience you already have, as well as identifying any you still need to gather. Once you list them – based on your own needs & dreams – you can lay out a plan to accomplish them.

🍃g. Record Your Achievements
PP allows you to keep track of & validate your accomplishments. It eliminates thinking of yourself as a fraud!
If you have trouble with this – you can reframe your perspective -so you can see & appreciate what you know & actually have done, showing that you’re already powerful.

Suggestion: Record 5 or more positive actions / accomplishments at the end of each day, no matter how small.  And circle the big ones – personal growth, end of a project, a special event…. On days when you feel powerless, flip back in your notes, to be reminded that it’s based on a cognitive distortion rather than facts.

NEXT: PP – Implement