Enneagram COMMUNICATION STYLES (Types 6,7)


PREVIOUS : Talk Styles (3,4,5)




Ennea-type 6’s style is cautionary or contrary. They’re always looking for what can go wrong, so they may sound quite pessimistic. They keep ask everyone a lot of questions about their plans, to test people’s motivates – which can get annoying after a while.

When it comes to pointing out flaws, there’s a difference between 1s & 6s : because 6s fall into the future triad, their eye for flaws is focused on what could go wrong, whereas Ones are in the Present triad, so they are focused on what is wrong.

If a 6 wants to initiate a break up, they may say:
“I think you’re really great, & this is not a reflection on you, but I’m just worried that this relationship is going to end badly if we keep trying to make it work like we are, even though we know that it’s not good for both of us. We might as well end it now rather than wait it out and have things go down even worse later.”

The 6 will be cautious about how they approach the other person, especially if they don’t know how the partner is going to react. They may assume the other person will react as badly as possible, which is why they’ll start off by placating, to cushion the blow, & deactivate the real or assumed bomb before it starts ticking.
Focusing on the future, about how things would be worse later, they figure might as well end it now to eliminate risk. “Bad but not as bad” tends to be as much as a 6 dares hope for.

IN BIZ : Loyal/Skeptic – 6s focus on figuring out what’s going on around them, to create structure & safety. They’re loyal, dependable, & are especially good at anticipating problems and creating solutions.
CHALLENGE :  to manage & modify their suspicion & doubt, so  it doesn’t de-motivate them or other people.
Ennea-type 7’s style is that storytelling or hyping. They tend to gush about things, focusing on positive qualities. Everything is the best. Everything they love, you must try. Even a trip to the store can be fodder for an off-the-wall tale.
7s like to feel good & want to make other people feel good too, while also being the center of attention. What better way to do that than to tell hilarious stories about their life?

However, when it comes to uncomfortable moments like breaking up, 7s don’t do so well. Like 5s, they’re more likely to ghost instead of initiating a break-up. Or they might go to great lengths creating a no-one’s-fault reason to end. It wouldn’t be surprising or outrageous for a 7 to move their entire life to another country as an excuse to end a relationship.

Unlike the Five who might move across the country to pursue an interest & forget they ever had a relationship, the 7s  the sole purpose is escape. It wouldn’t hurt that it may also be a great adventure, which is a huge perk. 

Because Seven is the king / queen of freedom & avoiding any extra responsibility, it will probably come up in the break-up talk. They may say: “I feel like we have so much to experience in this world, & we should go do that on our own rather than holding each other back. Maybe someday we’ll get back together once we go live our lives to the fullest, but right now, I feel like I need to focus on me, & I don’t want to hold you back while you focus on you.” (Ugh)

IN BIZ : Epicure – 7s are quick thinking, adaptable, with a positive outlook. Where other people see problems, they see opportunities. They like to enjoy multiple interests & have multiple options.
CHALLENGE :  to acknowledge problems & limitations, to bring their attention back to the present & the task at hand.

NEXT : Talk Styles (8,9)

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