IMAGE ⬅️ : From “The Enneagram in Business”
Communication – 80% or more is not in the words we use, but the patterns of speech, & the non-verbal ways we express our meaning.
Since communication is a 2-way street between speaker & listener, it always exists & is interpreted within a context
EXP : the history of the people involved
– blatant or implied hierarchical structure of their society
– the broader culture of organization, region, country…..
List ⬇️ from the Enneagram Institute
The Enneagram allows us to understand how communication styles develop from our Type. It helps honor our strengths & minimize distortions, so we can be understood, and understand what others are saying more accurately.
⬇️ From “The Enneagram in Business“
EXPANDED TALK STYLES
Ennea-type 1’s style is that of sermonizing or pontificating. While that may not be too flattering, for people whose level of health increases – the harsh qualities will lessen yo become much more tolerable
1s are precise, direct & honest, but include many “shoulds”. The Reformer may not always think have everything figured out or that they ‘re right-&-wrong police, it’s just their speech pattern.
EXP: if a One was going to initiate a breakup, it might sound like this: “I don’t think two people should be together if it’s not going to work long-term. I don’t see this lasting, so the right thing to do is for us to break up.” Direct, honest, some sort of concrete worldview, & a “should”.
IN BIZ : Perfectionist – 1s are responsible, thorough, and hard working with high standards for themselves and others. They know how to do things the right way.
CHALLENGE : to balance their critical thinking with acceptance & appreciation, & know when “good enough” is more productive than “exactly right.”
Ennea-type 2’s style is advising or supporting. They’re very other-focused, with the belief that they themselves shouldn’t need help… but would really love it if others anticipated when they needed something, & just helped without having to be asked.
HINT : They tend to give the kind of help they wish they had.
Sometimes their misguided desire to be of use can blind their intuition – not knowing the difference between when someone just wants to vent vs. when they actually need the 2’s help.
So while they’re very friendly & their speech seems placating, they can also be pushy about offering to ‘fix’, to the point that their ‘helpee / victim’ will want them to stop with the advice for 3 seconds, & just listen to the emotions.
2s have a hard time initiating a breakup. They so need to stay connected, that pushing people away goes against their grain. So if you’re dealing with a 2 who’s actually tying to leave, you might be confused by their “bearing around the bush” communications.
They may say: “You are so amazing, & you deserve all the happiness in the world. But I just feel like I can’t give you enough, so maybe you should see other people.”
You’d probably have to ask what they mean, because it could just as well be an invitation for you to have an open relationship instead.
IN BIZ : Giver – 2s are positive & people-oriented, making excellent communicators, who will support the best interests of the organization. Highly empathetic, they know what other people feel & need.
CHALLENGE : to practice good personal boundaries, & choose more carefully when & how much to help others.
NEXT : Talk Styles 3-6