PREVIOUS : Lateness #1

SITE : I Broke My Lifelong Habit of Chronic-Lateness and You Can Too  
(as addiction, like alcoholism)

 

Friedman & Rosenman ‘s 2 personality types :
Type As – ambitious, competitive & organized., generally have lower lateness rates. They see time as a valuable resource, so are more likely to manage it effectively. Asked to estimate when a minute had expired, most said it lasted 58 seconds.
Type Bs are more relaxed, functioning at a slower pace. They estimated the length of a minute as 77 seconds. Over the course of a day that will have a definite impact.

VARIATION on Lateness Types – from Diana DeLonzor’s “Never Be Late Again” AND Robert Bateman‘s “The Complete Guide to Being on Time”
🥹 Absent-minded Professor
They’re easily distracted. Some ‘flakiness’ is thought to be genetic, ranging from full-blown attention deficit disorder (ADD) to just having a busy mind. It affects punctuality  :
– the ability to stay focused on a course of action
– the level of awareness to the needs & feelings of others
– losing track of time, misplacing keys, forgetting appointments….

🥹 Crisis Maker
These put all their effort into getting as much done in as little time as possible, packing each day with activities, because when swamped, their self-worth goes up a notch.
They enjoy the rush of the last minute, the race to the finish line.

They even believe they perform better under pressure, but it’s actually a risky & destructive strategy. They’re adrenalin junkie/s, with “magical thinking,” consistently under-estimating how long each task will take. So they don’t evaluate & then plan out how much they’ll be able to get done in a specific time period.

EXP: Because they hate “wasting” time, they try to time arrivals to the minute, often resulting in lateness. They’re people who :
– crave stimulation, feeling that life is more enjoyable when there is excitement & urgency
– use rushing to relieve & distract themself from boredom or anxiety

🥹 Defier 
They see punctuality as a form of systemic oppression, so lateness is an act of rebellion, shaking their fist at all forms of structure – compelled to break the little everyday procedures that make life work smoothly. Rebellious tardiness comes in 3 basic flavors: Competing for power, Resisting authority or Needing to feel special & unique

🥹 Dreamer
They’re similar to the absent-minded, but not from faulty brain chemistry. Rather – it’s a form of dissociation, a vagueness about everything.
They suffer from time delusion, seriously under-estimating how long a task will take or to get someplace – like the crisis-maker. But it’s more likely that their mind is on other things – maybe creating something grand, or solving an impossible problem!

🥹 Evader
Studies indicate that most late-people have lower self-esteem & higher chronic anxiety than on-timers. Because of this, they can feel an overwhelming need to control their environment – subconsciously assuming that if they can make themself & their surroundings perfect, they’ll feel SAFE & therefore less anxious

🥹 Indulger
Some studies suggest that this group has trouble with self-motivation – ranking lower in self-discipline &/or impulse control, with less ability to make appropriate, personal sacrifices than on-timers.
Lack of self-control is not only about time, but also affects other parts of life. Not all latecomers lack self-control, but can procrastinate about personal goals

🥹 Love-Seeker
These come from dysfunctional families, who never experienced acceptance, appropriate attention, validation & healthy love. So, compulsive lateness becomes a continual test “Will you still accept & approve of me even if I’m late? If you do then I know you “really” care!’  (ACoAs & TIME)

🥹 Perfectionist
They focus too much on small stuff, & miss the “forest for the trees”, needing everything to be ‘just so’ before leaving the house.
EXP : still proofreading the footnotes of an assignment when the deadline has passed
— rearranging the shoe rack before walking out the door
— prioritize washing up last night’s wine glasses over catching the bus…

🥹 Rationalizer
They have trouble admitting their chronic lateness, insisting it’s only occasional, & then only by a few minutes. Those who do acknowledge the problem find it very hard to own their responsibility, often blaming external factors such as traffic jams, the kids, busy schedules….

NEXT: Personal Values