CONTACT:
acoarecovery@yahoo.com
212-580-9631
646-460-7417

Dear Readers,

As some of you have noticed (followers), I’ve been sending out revised OLD posts now for some months – along with new info. The series on Alcoholism is the last NEW for a while.

I wrote in Feb. explaining what I’m currently working on – going over ALL old post to make corrections & modifications where needed. As of now I’m half way thru 2016.

I’m suspending all new material until I finish going thru 2010 – 2020 posts already published. There are many more topics in the wings, maybe for next year, such as “Attachment Types, What Children Need, Money Madness, more on the Enneagram & the MBTI….. ”

EXCEPTION : If I find something new I want to pass on, or is especially interesting & relevant, I will add it throughout the rest of this year.

I hope you enjoy the updates. While every post is being worked on, only the revised or split ones (when one is too long) get moved from draft to ‘publish’. Since that means only 1 or 2 posts in each series, it’s a reminder to review the whole set.

For non-followers, if you’re curious, you can go to year pages 2010-14 & pick up the refurbished posts. Many include new artwork as well.

In the meantime you’re welcome to listen to my podcasts – there are 20, covering all the basic ACoA issues. To access, go to:

• businesstalkradio1.com
• click on red button “Archives” at top right
• fill in my full name Donna M Torbico
• interviews are listed by date, but not by topic (unfortunately)
• Feel free to leave comments via email at acoarecovery@yahoo.com.

ALSO:
I continue to see individual clients for ACoA Therapy, by phone or Skype,
– intro session is FREE.
If you or someone you know would like to do some Recovery work, I’m available to take new clients. 

Thank you for you support & loyalty!

DMT

 PREVIOUS: Alcoholic TRAITS #3b

SITE: “Alcoholism & the Brain: An Overview” (extensive)

PHYSICAL characteristics – Alcoholism CAUSES:
• Compulsions: talking for hours & hours – to a captive audience (like one of their children), continually repeating oneself, stalking, unwanted phone calls, esp late at night…
• Loss of control – mental & physical – leading to accidents, fights, falling down, lowered inhibitions (perpetrating rape, incest, assaults, killing..)

• Many physical problems (see below)
• Patterns of drinking : daily, weekends, periodic, binge, steady…

• Personality changes: chemical changes in the brain, serious blood-sugar level disturbance – like people with low blood-sugar when they’re out of fuel (food): headaches, nausea, very cranky, can’t think…
• Progression – in 3 stages, from mild to psychosis & then death
• Victimization : more vulnerable to crimes, sexual & domestic abuse

🚦☠️ Alcohol & Health
◘ Accidents : burns, fall, fights…. 
◘ Birth defects : binge drinking early in pregnancy is particularly risky for the developing baby
◘ Blackouts: blocked memory – a few minutes, several hours or more

◘ Brain : inflammation, dementia & other neurological deficiencies
◘ Cancer :  alcohol consumption is a risk factor for cancers of the mouth, throat, colon, breast & liver (even 1 drink per day is linked to a 20% increase

◘ Depression : worsens overall mental health & sparks a vicious cycle
◘ Diabetes : heavy & binge drinking rises the risk

◘ Digestion : alcohol alters the composition of needed bacteria in the GI tract, causing anemia, bleeding, gastritis, ulcers & other lesions, scarring
◘ Heart disease : heavy drinking appears to increase risk – high blood pressure & stoke…

◘ Infections : bacterial, respiratory & viral infections such as HIV, hepatitis (B & C), pneumonia & tuberculosis
◘ Immune System: affects the number of immune cells in a person’s system, alters their functioning, & can often kill existing cells

◘ Kidneys : affects rate of blood flow & disrupt hormones needed to filter out harmful substances from blood
◘ Liver diseases : alcohol poisoning, fatty liver, inflammation, cirrhosis

◘ Obesity : 2nd most calorie-rich nutrient after fat — packing about 7 calories per gram. Heavy drinking can cause increased weight gain
◘ Sex : F – unwanted pregnancies, infertility, menstrual problems, reduced lubrication, harder to have an orgasm….
M – physical insensitivity, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, loss of sexual desire, ‘brewer’s droop’ into full-blown impotence

◘ Death : alcohol abuse is the 3rd most common cause of preventable death in the US, including drug ODs  (More….)

ONE DRINK: Significant alcohol intake produces changes in the brain’s structure & chemistry, BUT some occur even with minimal use over a short time, to form tolerance & physical dependence

✴︎ 30 seconds after the first sip, alcohol rushes into the brain, slowing down its chemicals & pathways used to send messages. This alters mood, slows reflexes, throws the drinker off balance & they can’t think straight. Alcohol makes it hard to store experiences in long-term memory, so they won’t remember things later …. (More…. )

➡️ MRI scanner forms images using strong magnetic fields & radio waves

🌀 🌀 🌀

Behavioral Addiction is an intense desire to repeat some action that’s pleasurable, believed to improve well-being, or able to alleviating some personal distress – despite knowing its negative consequences

Researcher Jeffrey A. Gray (1981 & 87) proposed 2 brain-based systems which control a person’s interactions with their environment. Emotional situations are identified by the intensity of reaction, AND actions, based on what’s appealing or unpleasant.

⬇️ BIS & BAS brain activity have been connected to a broad range of psycho-pathologies, such as lifetime diagnoses of depression, anxiety, drug & alcohol abuse, ADHD & conduct disorder
❤️ FFFS = Fight, Flight, Freeze System (on chart↘️)

Systems controlling actions:
1. BIS – The Behavioral Inhibition System is responsible for curtailing, stopping, or avoiding ‘dangerous’ behaviors which can lead to disappointment or loss

People with strong BIS activity have a heightened sensitivity to new experiences that are non-rewarding, and to anything they experience as punishment, which they avoid to prevent feeling anxiety, frustration, terror & sadness.

🖤 OPPOSITE: People with low BIS (high BAS) activity have strong urges & desires, & are usually more impulsive & Extroverted

2. BAS – The Behavioral Activation System created a high sensitivity to reward – actions that don’t produce punishment.
It’s the desire to approach, pursue & achieve goals, with emotions such as elation, happiness & hope, especially when a benefit is imminent.
Strong BAS activity produces impulsivity, which may lead to punishment – not a deterrent – so pleasurable behaviors will be repeat, such as the instant-gratification use of addictive substances.

💚 OPPOSITE: People with low BAS (high BIS) activity have weaker urges & desires, & tend to be more careful & Introverted   (MORE….. scroll down)

NEXT:

PREVIOUS: Personality TRAITS (#2a)

SITE: “Personality and Alcoholism: Establishing the Link” ~ Stanton Peele (author of “Love & Addiction” highly recommended)

PERSONALITY TRAITS  (cont.)

🏴 REMINDER: NO ONE has ALL these characteristics!
Pick out several that fit your ‘favorite’ addict (or yourself ??), the ones that really stand out, that are over-blown, that keep getting in the way of a success, happy life.

2. PSYCHOLOGICAL defences
Underlying the addiction are what 12-Step programs call ‘character defects’, which contribute to the desire to escape.
ACTIONS
• Blackmail. Use threats of emotional withdrawal of acceptance, affection, approval, love, sex…. to get the other person to do something they don’t want to
• Bully. Demand others be or do what the addict wants, & won’t take no for an answer. Push, push push

• Chase. Run after someone not immediately available, or not interested in them (short of stalking)
• Come-here-go-away. Crazy-making, draw someone toward themselves & them push them away (sabotaging….) when the other gets ‘too close’

• Impatient. Can’t wait for things to unfold naturally, insist on getting attention
• Impulsive. Often acts before really thinking through consequences
• Irresponsible. Undependable, rarely /never follows thru, arbitrarily changes plans, regularly breaks promises …

VERBAL
• Argumentative. Always looking to start a verbal tussle, & even when they actually agree with the other’s point of view, feel the need to fight against it

• Cognitive distorted. Have many unrealistic or completely erroneous beliefs. Includes ‘all-or-nothing’, ‘black-or-white’ thinking…..
• Combative. Always feel disrespected (bumped in the subway, not being greeted….) as an excuse to be angry, or pick a fight

• Compulsive Liar. Lie when not necessary – lost conscious contact with The Truth
• Complain. Highly critical of others & Self, often their own worst enemy. Whiny.
• Cynical. Bitter, have an overall very negative assessment of people & life

• Double-messaging. Cause great confusion or paralysis in others by giving opposing info or expectations – as if both are true, (love you / hate you) OR demand that 2 incompatible rules both be obeyed

PSYCHOLOGICAL
• Boundary-less. Don’t how when / where to set limits, with self or others
• Chameleon. Easily change attitude & actions to match people & their environment, blend right in, but not ‘real Self’

• Dependent. Needy. Expecting others to do for them what they can, but won’t do for themselves
• Fake. What they feel inside is not what they show on the outside
• Idealizing. Unwilling to see others for who they really are, making them better than what’s real, & better than themselves

• Low Frustration tolerance. Easily upset & knocked off
 balance
• Narcissistic. Everything is about the addict, only their point of view & needs are valid

• Passive. Unwilling to exert themself, have an opinion, participate….
• Perfectionist. Their’s is the only ‘Right Way’. If they can’t do something perfectly, it’s worthless – causing procrastination & paralysis

• Separate. Never feel part of or belong anywhere – even in ‘similar’ groups. ‘Different, not like the rest’ (negatively special)
• Superiority complex. The attitude / belief (not emotion) of seeing oneself as better than others

• Victim. Suicidal thoughts / feelings (NOT because of severe physical pain, debility or actually being trapped). Instead:
– Rage: wanting to punish everyone who’s ever hurt or abandoned them (“I’ll show you!”)
– Unwilling to dig deep into their emotional pain, for healing

SOCIAL
• Arrogant. Condescending, sometimes or always ‘full of it’
• Demanding. “I want what I want – NOW!”
• Defiant. Don’t want to be told what to do, do opposite of what someone needs, wants or asks for – just to be ‘difficult / contrary’, but not from actual disagreement

• Isolated. Socially withdrawn, even when with others, not really connected. Can’t be reached, but complains that no-one understands
• People-pleaser. Overly agreeable, to keep the focus off themselves & get people to like them

• Sadistic (‘perpetrator’). Gets pleasure from hurting people, or secretly seeing them be hurt (physically, financially, socially….). Also harm animals & children
• Socially awkward. Feel like they don’t know what to do or say

• Thrill junkie.  Deliberately goes for risky behavior, stuck in self-destructive mode
• Thwarts Authority. Rebels against ‘status quo’

SPIRITUAL
• Lost / Tortured Soul – wandering in the ‘land of the living dead’
•  Unearthly. Truly believe an ideal world possible, & that it ‘should be’. See everyone as one united family. However, often feel disillusioned & disheartened when the world fails to live up to their Utopian ideals.

NEXT: Alcoholism – Physical

PREVIOUS: Alcoholism #2b

IMAGE ⬆️ : Pain directly linked to Emotional States 

SITE: “Heal suffering w/ Self-acceptance“ (+ Negative beliefs)

🌈 Poor Mental health plays an important role in all forms of substance abuse, which often overlap with psychiatric disorders, because addictive substances change the way the brain works, impacting a person’s mood, thoughts & actions. Psychological evaluation of a potential patient includes:

Personal history:  age when they first started using alcohol…., family history of substance use, & all traumatic experiences, Also – housing, financial & marital status, education & employment, physical & mental health (theirs & their family), & legal problems.

VIOLENCE & ADDICTION
The Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment noted that more than 75% of people entering treatment admit to various acts of violence, although researches claim that “only a tiny fraction of all drinking events involve violence.”
The likelihood of an active drinker being violent seems to stem from how they usually deal with their anger when not drinking. Since alcohol lowers inhibitions, robbing a person of self-control which allows for risky behavior, so previously suppressed rage can be acted out when sufficiently drunk.

RESEARCH: The central nervous system (CNS) processes which integrate emotional behavior are altered in people at high risk for alcoholism, with 3 markers for identifying the risk:
1) Proportion: a characteristic balance of positive to negative emotions
2) Cortisol: emotion-related changes in this stress hormone
3) The Startle Eyeblink: a measure of emotion-related change in CNS activation

PERSONALITY TRAITS that underpin active addictions
🏴 NOTE: NO ONE has ALL of these! Look for several that fit your ‘favorite’ addict (or yourself ??), the ones that seem to really stand out, that are over-blown, that keep getting in the way of a success, happy life.

Alcoholism is called a 3-fold disease: Physical, Emotional & Spiritual (not religion) :
1. EMOTIONAL
• Angry. Volatile E-motions, explosive temper, often acts out in violent ways
• Co-dependent. Deeply effected by other people’s emotions, reactions,  difficulties…. & other social influences, mostly negative &/or toxic

• Defensive. Very guarded & protective of inner most thoughts & feelings
• Depressed. This can be physical /hereditary and/OR from decades of abandonment & abuse. Either way its’s long-term & debilitating

• Desperate. Feel like their would is falling apart. Don’t know what to do
• Disconnected. Unaware of what they’re feeling emotionally
• Distracted. In constant escape-mode. Use Alcohol/drugs, sex, social-media…. to numb painful life experiences, or fill up with “spirit”

•  Fearful / Terrified. Worry a lot. Anxious, agitated…. always expect only the worst
• Fearful of Failure and Success. Stay stuck (work, home….). Feel like they ‘can’t win for loosing’

• Guilty. Continual, overwhelming self-blame for real or imagine harm they did to someone, either by a damaging action, or by neglecting to do something
• Hopeless. Completely convinced there’s NO possibility for their life to get better (“learned helplessness”), they have no options, no one to help
• Hyper-sensitive. Take everything personally that happens to them or even around them, as if they’re the center of everyone else’s world

• Insensitive. Can’t sympathize with another’s hardship, or to empathize with someone’s emotional distress
• Joyless. Nothing is fun, relaxing, stress-less.
• Lonely. Feel alone, can’t ask for help because ‘no one cares’

• Paranoid. Assume everyone secretly (or blatantly) intends to hurt them. Can’t trust anyone. NO one’s safe
• Passive-aggressive. Can’t show anger directly, so puts on a smile, but withholds, refuses to participate….  or secretly, indirectly does harm
• Resentful – of oh-so many people… Carry a long list of grudges towards anyone who’s disappointed or hurt them in life

• Sad. Deep sorrow because of too many losses, often hidden from oneself, or unexpressed
• Self-Hating. Deep down inside, blame themself for everything that’s gone wrong or that hurts them.  Nothing is never ‘good enough’
• Shamed. Intensely ashamed of themself, their family, their circumstance, their inability to ‘fix’ a loved one…..

• Unforgiving. Unable / unwilling to release of all the bad things done to them, & the pain it caused. Can’t seem to cope with people, place, things – as they are
• Un-comforted. Nothing is soothing, pleasant, stress-free
• Uncomfortable in their skin. Don’t know ‘who I am”, or ‘how’ to sit, stand, walk… Restless, irritable, discontent. Life is a painful, unpleasant journey
• Unlovable – Unable to love themself or to receive love from others.

NEXT: 2. Psychological