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 Ennea: TRIAD EMOTIONS + 8s (Part 3a)

 

891s “MANAGING” ANGER (cont)
► EIGHTS – Challengers (#3a)

◀︎▶︎ NINES – Peacemakers
♝ Complicated  : Some 9s recognize their anger, have feelings of resentment, blow up on occasion, may even experience road rage.
But since most do not “get angry” , they’re confused to hear it’s their leading emotional issue. But it’s this very avoidance that pushes them out of contact with themself

♝ Root: reacting to a chaotic early life, they deny anger in favor of a peaceful existence – driven by a need to pacify their environment & relationships
♝ Expressing anger & aggression, it’s processed unconsciously. They don’t like showing or even acknowledge having  it, but underneath tend to ‘smolder’.  Since they deny feeling aggression & resentment in order to not rock the boat, they don’t let on to the Self or others that they’re stewing. This results in losing contact with the Gut Center, so they act-or-not-act based on a disconnection from reality

♝ Acting out anger: In this triad, 9s are most out of touch with both anger & intuition, which they feel threatened by. They deny their instinctual energies as if to say, “What anger? That’s not me”.  While they do have this emotion like everyone else, they try to ignore it by idealizing everything in their world

♝ In relationships: finding their own anger so threatening, they bury & form a completely pleasing or passive exterior
♝ When boundary invaded, they don’t admit how angry it makes them, but it shows in a stubborn attachment to keeping the peace, whatever the cost. However, 9s do periodically erupt, betraying the reservoir of rage simmering deep below the surface.

♝ As a reaction to underlying fear: they need comfort & peacefulness in connections with others because of a great fear of being separated. So they try to stifle the source of power in themself  by repressing their assertive / aggressive nature, Also actively try to calm or suppress aggressiveness in others.
Re. not being held/ supported : they “hold” by engaging in repetitive mental or physical actions to soothe themself, as a narcotic (See Enn. Emotions, Intro)

♝ The Positive emotional state of NINEs is Peace & inner wholeness. Healthy 9s actively engage with the world, bringing a calming, optimistic, & highly empathic presence to others, while fully honoring their own worth
Their Virtue is Engagement / Right Action, engaging with life from a place of deep inner alignment. It’s an antidote to their “self-forgetting” – the tendency to fall asleep to their own desires to keep the peace

◀︎▶︎ ONES – Reformers
♝ Root: being humiliated, forced to follow a strict moral code, feeling unacceptable, unable to rely on a safe stable authority figure
♝ Expressing anger: they internalize it, from wanting to be perfect. But being impossible to achieve, the effort sets up a vicious cycle which triggering more anger, which they deny. The emotion is process by following a rigid set of religious or philosophical ideals
♝ Acting out anger: trying to make aggression into something noble, glorious – their superego represses normal instinctual energy & then comes back up as righteousness & rigid, compulsive ‘right action’
♝ In relationships: they feel anger but do everything they can to hide it. They have a burning desire to be perfect, & in their mind perfect people don’t get angry. They give themself no mercy, so also tend to be highly judgmental of others as well.
♝ Their response to boundary invasion is to suppress the raw energy of anger, redirecting it into efficient action, while holding on to their Passion = Simmering Resentment

♝ As a reaction to underlying fear of being condemned for normal human limitations & feelings, they need to see themself as reasonable, using strict self-discipline to always be right
Re. not being held/ supported: they “hold” by being self-controlled & trying to control or structure every aspect of their direct environment   (MORE... from Lynette Sheppard)

♝ The Positive emotional state of ONEs is a Sincere spirit & good intentions towards others, understanding that they have a personal roll in caring for the well being of all.
Their Virtue is Serenity, the inner peace & patience reached when they let go of the hyper-critical inner voice, accepting that things can be “perfectly imperfect” .

NEXT : What ACoAs know & don’t know