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Comments FROM Type 2
〽️ I may not openly say how I’m really doing, even if I want to talk about it. Go beyond a simple, “How are you?” to get a real answer
〽️ Remind me it’s okay to take a break & care for myself. I know I don’t *need* your permission, but it helps to remember that self-care is not selfish
〽️ When I’m in a good place I genuinely love to help! Even so, let me know how much you appreciate the little things I do.
〽️ I want to cultivate an open, honest connection with you, & hope we can both be ‘vulnerable’ enough to build a deep friendship
〽️ I know others depend on me to be warm & caring all the time, but I have bad days too! Remind me it’s ok to not always be UP
〽️I often find myself initiating contact with others. I’d be much happier if you’d reach out first!
〽️ Even if I don’t ask for it, I’m grateful for your help when I need it, but I don’t want you to take over everything.
GETTING ALONG with Type 2
They’re about affection, affirmation, connection & love.
For You :
Don’t create unnecessary pressure for them by taking advantage of their helpfulness. 2s are incredibly giving, so often say yes when it would be healthier to say no
🔅Show your affection in practical ways, as well as with affirmation words. 2s want to hear they’re appreciated
🔅 Encourage them to be authentic, honestly sharing what
they’re thinking. Expressing needs & feelings is hard for them – believing they’re not allowed to
Let the 2 know it’s truly ok with you that they’re totally themselves & have needs
🔅Be careful when giving honest feedback, because 2s will ‘take it personally’. And – if you’re simply sharing something positive you’re doing for yourself – they can interpret it to mean they’re not as good as you, because they aren’t doing something for themselves too
With Them :
🔅All 2s need to process verbally, to get all their thoughts out of their head. So understand that it might take a while to hear their ‘bottom line’ about something, & their final conclusion might not be where they started from
🔅2s can become ‘oddly’ angry or have other strong emotional responses – if their needs are not met (unspoken or spoken ). Realize it represents a tipping point, a warning sign that they haven’t been providing their needs for so long that those pile up, & then at some point come crashing down on their head. It means the 2 needs to stop do-ing & be taken care of for a while.
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Comments FROM Type 3s
〽️When I wear different ‘hats’ & adapt to various environments, it doesn’t feel fake for me; it feels necessary.
〽️ I may seem very confident, but I need reassurance just like everyone else. Be honest & direct but tactful.
I don’t always show it when your words hurt me, but please remember that I’m human & have feelings, too.
〽️If I share my thoughts & emotions\s with you, be gentle. It doesn’t come easily, so it means a lot when you listen & respond with care. I like feedback because I want to improve, but unjust criticism is incredibly upsetting.
〽️ When I’m not 100% transparent about how I’m really doing, it’s not because I’m trying to lie : I either haven’t sorted it out yet OR I don’t feel safe with you yet.
〽️ I often feel like I’m not doing enough. So let me know you see me & my efforts. The more you dream with me, the more I feel connected to you.
GETTING ALONG with Type 3s
They’re about efficiency, optimism, recognition & success
For You :
Let them know you love them for who they are & not for what they do. 3s want to feel valued & admired, so say affirmative things to them often
🔅 3s put on masks so they’ll be liked or approved of. They’re afraid that without the camouflage they won’t be acceptable. Let them know you love them no matter what.
🔅 Do not interrupt a 3 when they’re working. They’re goal-crushers & won’t be pleased when something gets in the way of finishing a task.
🔅 Limit negative talk. 3s prefer to stay positive & optimistic.
🔅3s will be happy to do things for you (or accomplish tasks at work) but they want to know how, so give accurate instructions ahead of time.
NEXT : Understand Them (4,5)