PREVIOUS: Positive uses, #1

BOOK: “Surprising Purpose of Anger“ ~ M.B. Rosenberg, PhD:

◆ ” Anh’s Anger” for children (AND helpful for Adult-children)

HEALTHY anger (the emotion) is one form of energy, giving us an internal push to speak up for needs, to stand up for ourselves or get people together to make changes for the better.
Normally, humans have a wide range of emotions, which most of the time come & go rather quickly. They tend to be brief because healthy people check what they’re thinking about a situation & take some action to deal with the cause of the feeling, using whatever tools (responses) work best at the time.

FROM: Bernard Golden, Ph.D. – Chicago:
“HEALTHY anger” demands reflection, taking time & exerting the effort to empower the rational mind to override the emotional mind.
There are very positive aspects of anger, & specific skills needed. It requires us to embrace & actively use a major characteristic of our humanity – our capacities to reason & problem-solve….”

These skills INCLUDE:
☼ observing & experiencing anger without automatically being emotionally overwhelmed by it, nor physically reacting to it
☼ recognizing anger as a signal to focus our attention inward, so we can identify our core desires, needs & values (& not getting met)
☼ recognizing anger as a signal to explore external events & internal emotions that get triggered, our thoughts & body sensations that precede the feeling
☼ learning how to communicate assertively toward others (non-aggressively)
AND IT:
☼ calls for developing self-compassion, expressed by taking actions that strengthen our inner sense of safety & connection
☼ enhances our resilience and overall well-being, via self-esteem
☼ includes developing strategies to let go of anger, such as forgiving self & others (see 9 posts on ‘Forgiveness’ )
☼ includes kind & fair actions, to minimize suffering for self and others
SITE: “Why negative emotions can be a force for good” (Right way to be angry)
🤔 There are many insidious ways women are socialized to stifle their anger, to everyone’s detriment.  In “Why Women Should Embrace Their Anger“, Jill Suttie argues that rage could help women improve their psychological health & move society forward. ….
By understanding it & learning to consider its practical uses – in response to threats – women can move from passivity, fear & withdrawal to awareness, engagement & change. (MORE…..)
BOOK:  Rage Becomes Her: Power of Women’s Anger” ˜˜ Soraya Chemaly

🎯 PERSONAL – Healthy Anger-Expression CAN:
• allow individual empowerment & positive control in situations where we once felt powerless & defeated
• be used to vent tension & frustration, burning off accumulated Es (when in overwhelm)
• definitely tell us when our needs are not being met
CAN
• defend & preserve our identity & dignity, encouraging self-esteem
• help to change whatever caused the anger in the first place – if at all possible. When it’s not, it can give us the courage to leave a dangerous person or unhealthy environment
CAN:
• provide energy & motivation to take actions (like finishing things)
• provide an opening to express our values (righteous anger), and to challenge & change difficult interpersonal injustices
• provide a break from feeling afraid, vulnerable or hurt
• stop abuse as it’s happening, or future potential abuses (verbal attacks, domestic abuse, a work bully….)
ALSO it’s :
• a stage of mourning, on the way to accepting an inevitable loss
• a characteristic of optimism, because there’s still a sense of possibilities & the ability to fight when necessary (hopelessness = depression)

🎙 SOCIAL – Healthy Anger-Expression CAN:
• build or improve positive relationships – as an expression of appreciation, respect, understanding & trust – in oneself & in the other
• energize our fight for legitimate rights, overcome oppression or topple a tyrant (slavery & apartheid, women’s suffrage, civil rights…). Handled correctly, righteous anger can motivate others to help us with our cause
CAN:
• give the courage to ask that someone treat us better from now on
• help us stay connected to our social group, rather than withdrawing
• let others know our true position on something, with the appropriate level of emotion suited to the situation
CAN:
• motivate us to work on healing an emotional injury – without self-attack, blame, causing guilt, humiliation or shame
• send a strong message to an offender that they’ve done something wrong (hurtful, illegal….)
• set a president for better communication in future
• set needed boundaries, to stop others from encroaching on our rights & property

NEXT: (Skip “new template”) Anger Triggers #1