Anger – Positive USES (Part 2)



PREVIOUS: Positive uses, #1

BOOK: “Surprising Purpose of Anger ~ M.B. Rosenberg, PhD:

◆ ” Anh’s Anger” for children (AND helpful for Adult-children)

 

 

HEALTHY anger (the emotion) is one form of energy, motivating us to speak up, to stand up for ourselves or get people together to make changes for the better. Normally, we can have a wide range of emotions, which most of the time come & go rather quickly. They tend to be brief because healthy people will take some action to deal with fix problemswhatever the cause of the feeling, using whichever tools work best in the situation

FROM: Bernard Golden, Ph.D. – Chicago:
“Healthy anger demands reflection, taking time & exerting the effort to empower the rational mind to override the emotional mind. It calls on us to more fully embrace a major aspect of our humanity – our capacities to reason & problem solve…. There are very positive aspects of anger, & specific skills needed.

IT 
INCLUDES:
✿ observing & experiencing anger without being overwhelmed by it & reacting to it
✿ recognizing anger as a signal to explore the emotions, thoughts & bodily sensations that precede it
✿ viewing anger as a signal to direct attention inward to identify our core desires, needs & values
✿ learning how to communicate assertively with others
AND IT:
✿ calls for developing self-compassion, including skills to enhance our sense of safety & connection
✿ enhances our resilience and overall well-being
✿ includes developing strategies to let go of anger, such as forgiving self & others
✿ encompasses compassionate practices that don’t cause suffering for others or for ourselves
SITE: “Why negative emotions can be a force for good” (Right way to be angry)

🤔There are many insidious ways women are socialized to stifle their anger, to their detriment.  In “Why Women Should Embrace Their Anger”, Jill Suttie argues that rage could help women improve their psychological health & move society forward. …. Understanding it & learning to think about its methodical uses in response to threats women can move from passivity, fear & withdrawal to awareness, engagement & change. (MORE…..)
BOOK:  Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women’s Anger” ˜˜ Soraya Chemaly

🎯 PERSONAL – Healthy Anger-Expression CAN:
• help defend & preserve our identity, encouraging self-esteem
• provide a break from feeling afraid, vulnerable or hurt
• allow personal empowerment & positive control in situations where we once felt powerless & defeated
• definitely tell us when our needs aren’t being met
CAN:
• be used to vent tension & frustration, burning off accumulated Es (when in overwhelm)
• provide energy & motivation to take actions (like something unfinished)
• stop abuse as it’s happening, & future potential abuses (verbal attacks, domestic abuse, a work bully….)
CAN:
• encourage us to change whatever caused the aninternal changesger in the first place – if at all possible.
When it’s not, it can give the courage to leave a hopeless &/or dangerous situation
• provide an opening to express values (righteous anger), to challenge & change difficult interpersonal injustices
ALSO:
• it’s a stage of mourning, on the way to accepting an inevitable loss
• it’s a characteristic of optimism, because there’s still a sense of possibilities & the ability to fight when necessary (depression=hopelessness)

🎙 SOCIAL – Healthy Anger-Expression CAN:
• send a strong message to an offender they’ve done something wrong
• give the courage to ask that someone treat us better from now on
• let others know our true position about something, with the appropriate intensity of emotion suited to the situation
• motivate us to work on healing an emotional injury – without attack, blame, causing guilt, humiliation or shame
CAN:
• set needed boundaries, to stop others from encroaching on our rights & propertysocial activism
• get someone’s attention (be heard), especially if the person is talking over, interrupting or ignoring us
• help us stay connected to our social group, rather than withdrawing
• build or improve relationships with appreciation, respect, a sense of understanding & trust
AND:
• set a president for better communication in future
• create a basis for acceptance, letting go & moving on
• energize our fight for legitimate rights, overcome oppression or topple a tyrant (slavery & apartheid, women’s suffrage, civil rights…). Handled correctly, our anger can motivate others to help us with our cause

NEXT: Anger triggers #1

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