Anger – Positive USES (Part 2)



PREVIOUS: Positive uses, #1

BOOK: “Surprising Purpose of Anger ~ M.B. Rosenberg, PhD:

◆ ” Anh’s Anger” for children (AND helpful for Adult-children)

 

HEALTHY anger (the emotion) is one form of energy, giving us an internal push to speak up for needs, to stand up for ourselves or get people together to make changes for the better. Normally, humans have a wide range of emotions, which most of the time will come & go rather quickly. They tend to be brief because healthy people will take some action to deal with whatever the cause of the feeling, using whatever tools work best at the time.

FROM: Bernard Golden, Ph.D. – Chicago:
“HEALTHY anger demands reflection, taking time & exerting the effort fix problemsto empower the rational mind to override the emotional mind. It calls on us to more fully embrace a major aspect of our humanity – our capacities to reason & problem solve…. There are very positive aspects of anger, & specific skills needed.”

These 
INCLUDE:
☼ observing & experiencing anger without being overwhelmed by it & without reacting to it
☼ recognizing anger as a signal to focus our attention inward, so we can identify our core desires, needs & values
☼ recognizing anger as a signal to explore external events & internal emotions, thoughts & bodily sensations that precede the feeling
☼ learning how to communicate assertively with others (non-aggressively)
AND IT:
☼ calls for developing self-compassion, with actions that enhance our inner sense of safety & connection
☼ enhances our resilience and overall well-being
☼ includes developing strategies to let go of anger, such as forgiving self & others (Also see 9 posts on ‘Forgiveness’ )
☼ includes compassionate actions that don’t cause suffering for others or for ourselves
SITE: “Why negative emotions can be a force for good” (Right way to be angry)

🤔There are many insidious ways women are socialized to stifle their anger, to their detriment.  In Why Women Should Embrace Their Anger, Jill Suttie argues that rage could help women improve their psychological health & move society forward. ….
By understanding it & learning to think about its practical uses – in response to threats – women can move from passivity, fear & withdrawal to awareness, engagement & change. (MORE…..)
BOOK:  Rage Becomes Her: Power of Women’s Anger” ˜˜ Soraya Chemaly

🎯 PERSONAL – Healthy Anger-Expression CAN:
• allow personal empowerment & positive control in situations where we once felt powerless & defeated
• be used to vent tension & frustration, burning off accumulated Es (when in overwhelm)
• definitely tell us when our needs aren’t being met
CAN
• defend & preserve our identity & dignity, encouraging self-esteem
• encourage us to change whatever caused the anger in the first place – if at all possible. When it’s not, it can give the courage to leave a hopeless &/or dangerous situation
CAN:
internal changes• provide energy & motivation to take actions (like something unfinished)
• provide an opening to express values (righteous anger), to challenge & change difficult interpersonal injustices
• provide a rest from feeling afraid, vulnerable or hurt
• stop abuse as it’s happening, & future potential abuses (verbal attacks, domestic abuse, a work bully….)
ALSO:
• it’s a stage of mourning, on the way to accepting an inevitable loss
• it’s a characteristic of optimism, because there’s still a sense of possibilities & the ability to fight when necessary (depression = hopelessness)

🎙 SOCIAL – Healthy Anger-Expression CAN:
• build or improve relationships with appreciation, respect, a sense of understanding & trust
• energize our fight for legitimate rights, overcome oppression or topple a tyrant (slavery & apartheid, women’s suffrage, civil rights…). Handled correctly, our anger can motivate others to help us with our cause
CAN:
• give the courage to ask that someone treat us better from now on
• help us stay connected to our social group, rather than withdrawing
social activism• let others know our true position about something, with the appropriate level of emotion suited to the situation
CAN:
• motivate us to work on healing an emotional injury – without self- attack, blame, causing guilt, humiliation or shame
• send a strong message to an offender they’ve done something wrong
• set a president for better communication in future
• set needed boundaries, to stop others from encroaching on our rights & property

NEXT: Anger triggers #1

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