CDs: CONSEQUENCES (Part 3)


   

 

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EFFECTS OF using CDs (cont)
Thinking dominated by CDs can cause self-esteem crushing feelings of anger, anxiety, depression, despair, failure, frustration, hopelessness, & resentment, that left unchecked can make life miserable.

4. MENTAL / PRACTICAL CDs :
a. Hamper Decision Making
• CDs act as obstacles, stopping us from being productive by create fear & worry that hold us back from doing something that could be beneficial
• they easily discount valuable new info that disagrees with our existing beliefs
EXP: ‘Anchoring’ can throw off negotiations by getting us stuck on an arbitrary value

• interfere with the quality of our work – concentration & productivity – by draining energy, disturbing the nervous & digestive systems
• limit or eliminate leisure, fun, & time spent with family & friends
• greatly reduce or eliminate satisfaction in our achievements
• waste time & energy obsessing, so are a wasted use of our intelligence

b. Hamper Problem Solving
• lose time, energy & $$ spent fixing avoidable problems
• impede creativity: a ‘Framing Bias’ will make us look at a problem too narrowly, while the ‘Illusions of Control’ can make us over-estimate how much influence our actions will have in a situationdecision-making

• interfere with the 4 skills needed in Decision-Making:
define & formulate a problem (able to understand its exact nature, cause-effect relationships, identify obstacle in the way of the goal & form realistic objectives)
generate alternatives (able to brainstorm a variety of solutions)
make decisions (able to predict possible consequences & their likelihood, & conduct cost-benefit analysis of the desired outcome)
implement & verify a solution (able to optimally carry out a plan, monitor its effects, troubleshoot if the solution isn’t working
▶ and validate oneself when the outcome is successful!

c. Limit Learning
• prevent us from going back to school to reach a goal or change careers (‘Disqualifying the Positive’, ‘Perfectionism’, Mental Filter’…)

• reduce how much we achieve (rather than what we’re actually capable of).
If we say “I can’t handle this”, “this is too hard” …. we probably won’t even try, since the subconscious believes what we say to ourselves

• short-circuit how much we can learn. The ‘Von Restoff Effect’ makes us over-emphasize some info over other which may be more important. ‘Clustering Illusions’ can trick us into thinking we’ve absorbed more that we actually have

5. SOCIAL – CDs:
• create conflicts in a wide variety of relationships (home, work, school…)
• form barriers to healthy communication – messages get cloudy causing social phibiamisunderstanding, anger, resentment & frustration in the receiver of the muddled messages

• make us less desirable company – most people don’t have time or patience with constant negativity. People’s vibes affect each other – moods are contagious….. & who wants to catch a bad mood?

• make us tend to focus on people’s flaws, eroding connections
• make us overestimate the probability (projecting) that unpleasant social events will occur, so we either don’t go anywhere, don’t participate at gatherings or act out inappropriately

MENTAL HEALTH: Studies have shown that positive thinking, optimism, gratitude & appreciation of the things we enjoy in life enhance brain function and decision-making skills. They help to be calmer, more relaxed, happier

CORRECTING (condensed) 
1. Identity the CDs. Then Examine the evidence, & list the pros & cons
2. Think /talk to yourself – the way you so with loved people & pets OR how you’d like to be talked to when you were little
3 Consider shades of grey – what;s between B and W options
4. Test your ‘version’ against reality by doing something scary & keeping track of every positive outcome

5. Observe others & ASK how they handle situations you’re in
6. Change how you talk about your desires or goals
FROM “I should / have to…”. TO  “I’d like /  it would be great if…..”
7. Notice & correct the meaning of frequently used words. Why is everything “terrible / impossible / unbearable? — without changing your circumstance
OR: Why call yourself “inferior, a loser, fool, abnormal….” ?
8. Re-attribution : notice & acknowledge that other PPT (people places & things) outside of yourself play a part in you are perceived and how things turn out (More…..)

NEXT:

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