PREVIOUS: CDs = Consequences (Part 3)
EFFECTS OF using CDs (cont)
Basing our life dominated by CDs can cause self-esteem, & crushing feelings of anger, anxiety, depression, despair, failure, frustration, hopelessness, & resentment – that left unchecked can make life miserable.
4. SOCIAL (PMES) RESULTS
• they create conflicts in a wide variety of relationships (home, work, school…)
• form barriers to healthy communication – information get cloudy, causing misunderstanding, anger, resentment & frustration in receivers of the muddled messages
• make us less desirable company – most people don’t have time or patience with constant negativity. Because people’s vibes affect each other – moods are contagious….. & who wants to catch a bad mood?
• make us tend to focus on others’ flaws, eroding connections
• make us overestimate the probability (projecting) that unpleasant social events will occur, so we either don’t go anywhere, don’t participate at gatherings, or act inappropriately
5. SPIRITUAL (PMES) RESULTS
• attract situations that make us believe something’s perpetually wrong with us & the world, SO we stay stuck in our damage
• close us down to possibilities & the flow of abundance, preventing us from attracting ‘people, places & things’ (PPT) that would help us grow
• just like perfectionism – they make us vulnerable to spiritually abusive situations
• keep us from fulfilling the True Self God made us to be
• mutilate, cripple & corrode the human spirit, & provide the rationale for maintaining addictions
• obscure / limit our vision to go after dreams, leaving us apathetic, cynical & confrontational
• suck out our faith & confidence in life, making it hard to be hopeful about anything
😃CDs & HUMOR
Humor styles are considered coping strategies to deal with internal CDs & external stress. One study (U of Western Ontario, 2016) examined the relationship among : a. CDs b. positive & negative humor styles & c. depressive symptoms.
Because CDs involve negatively biased thinking about self & others, it was hypothesized that people whose lives are impacted by them would tend to use maladaptive humor styles, which involve themes about : the assumption that others think negatively about them, their own incompetence, unlovability & worthlessness
As predicted, the frequency & impact of CDs on interpersonal & achievement were in fact significantly associated with depressive symptoms.
1. Self-Enhancing Humor (healthiest)
About emotional well-being, including self-esteem, optimism & pleasurable emotions. EXP: “Even when I’m by myself, I’m often amused by the absurdities of life”
2. Affiliative Humor
Deals more with relationship connections, related to extraversion, social intimacy, inter-personal competence, relationship satisfaction, social support & secure attachment. EXP: “I laugh & joke a lot with my closest friends”
3. Aggressive Humor
This type is also mainly about relationship connections, but includes hostility & neuroticism. It’s not about agreeableness, competence, conscientiousness or satisfaction. EXP: “If someone makes a mistake, I’ll usually tease them about it”
4. Self-Defeating Humor (least healthy)
A HIGH correlation between CDs & Self-Defeating humor is most closely associated with emotional distress – such as anxious attachment, depression, generalized anxiety, neuroticism, rumination & perceived stress
EXP: “I often get carried away with putting myself down if it makes my family or friends laugh”
✳️ MENTAL HEALTH: Studies have shown that correct + positive thinking, optimism, gratitude & appreciation of the things we enjoy in life = enhance brain function & decision-making skills. They help us be calmer, more relaxed, happier.
1. Identity your ‘favorite’ CDs. Then examine the evidence, listing pros & cons
2. Think about / talk to yourself – the way you do with people & pets you love, OR how you wish you had been talked to when you were little
3. Consider shades of grey – what’s between B & W options
4. Test your ‘version’ against reality by doing something scary & keeping track of every positive outcome
5. Observe others & ASK how they handle the situation you’re in
6. Change how you talk about your desires or goals
FROM “I should / have to…”. TO “I’d like / it would be great if…..”
7. Notice & correct the meaning of frequently used words.
— Why is everything “terrible / impossible / unbearable….”
even in ‘common’ circumstances ?
— Why call yourself “inferior, a loser, fool, abnormal….” even when you’re doing OK ?
8. Re-attribution : notice & acknowledge that other PPT (people places & things) outside of yourself have an effect on outcomes, AND that other see you differently than you see yourself.(More…..)
NEXT: Undoing CDs