PREVIOUS : Types of LIARS (Part 2)

SITE : “How Do We Stop Listening to Liars?” (Breaking denial)

❖ DETAILS
Compared to making a truthful statement, it’s harder for ‘normal’ liars to stick to their false story and use complex language.…. This is because of the increased cognitive load & the mind’s finite processing capacity in the moment, so the harder it gets for them to concoct a believable response, the more they resort to simpler language.

People usually avoid specific details when being deceptive, but occasionally will let one slide through. When that happens there are ways to tell if they’re lying.
EXP :  You’re having dinner with someone, & they tell you this whole story about their fancy new job, but you think they’re lying, not just exaggeration.

If you ask about it, they keep dancing around the point, giving a bunch of vague answers. So you decide to hone in on something specific – you ask where their office building is – & they say something general like “Oh it’s downtown. ”

When you want details, like – what are the cross streets it’s at or near – you get “It’s confusing”. If they had been telling the truth they’d consider this a weird Q. but easy to answer. After all, they have to know how to get to work.
But when lying, they’ll start floundering for a response, or suddenly change the subject. Either way they’re caught red-handed.

A 2012 study published in the journal ‘Group Decision and Negotiation’ found that lying has a huge impact on the way we speak. It discovered around 150 potential indicators of deception, & narrowed them down to 7 powerful constructs (abstract, theoretical concept) used when lying.

🔸 One is vocal diversity. Tone of voice is like the rifling in a gun barrel – which are the grooves that spin the projectile so it will fly accurately & hit its mark. Without proper rifling, the bullet starts to tumble as soon as it leaves the barrel & will go wild. When listening to someone’s story, ask yourself  “How diverse is their language? Are their answers hesitant”?  Pay attention ! You can actually say : “Hmm, you sounded a little hesitant. Why is that? Is there anything else you’d like to tell?…”
🔹 Another is vocal uncertainty, (“uh, umm, well, see…) subtle ways liars distance themself from admitting their dishonesty – to themself.  It’s the same reason they avoid using first person (“I, me, mine, myself”), since including them would indicate the speaker is admitting the lie. Instead, they create as much wiggle room as they can.

Others hints include using:
• more negative emotion words such ‘hate, sad, worthless”, liars being anxious & sometimes feeling guilty
• fewer exclusionary words such as “except, but or neither/ nor” which would normally distinguish what they did from what they didn’t do.
• verbal stalling technique, like ‘Why do you ask that?’ or repeating the other person’s question – with a tilt at the end “Where was I yesterday?” — rather than a direct & open response.

Fraud-speech tends to be more “fuzzy”, with strategies used to distance themself, using :
— short & uncertain statements
— formal language, non-contracted denial (“I did not have…)
— vague or hedging language (“I guess, maybe” or “could / might”)
— convincing language “To tell you the truth, In all honesty …”
— repeated words & phrases (“I didn’t… I didn’t…”)

At one extreme re. details – (maybe ACoAs, Introverts….) – if a guilty person is being questioned about an action or a motive, they can find it harder & harder to talk – at all – as when a child, a mate…. is forcefully challenged : “Why did you….?”
When someone’s under stress causing high anxiety, the automatic nervous system decreases salivary flow, drying out the mucous membranes of the mouth.

At the other end (more likely Extroverts) – a liar can actually give away too many details – even if some or all are made up! A nervous liar may go on & on with too much information – especially adding what has not been asked for.
And experiences liars can end up telling longer & more detailed stories, with fewer negative & more positive emotion words – to make themself sound more convincing.

NEXT : Lists & the Body