PREVIOUS : Type of Lies & Liars, #2

3 POSTS : “Why ACoAs Lie“

 

The main reason people lie is low self-esteem. The person wants to impress, please, & tell others what you think they want to hear. If you often find yourself being deceptive with family & friends to sidestep volatile or painful subjects, you may need to strengthen your interpersonal skills, & in some cases, avoid the person instead of the issues.

33 REASONS

❥ Attention-seek: Some people lie just to get other people’s attention (HPDs & NPDs) . The irony is that most don’t know what to do with the attention when they do get it

❥ Avoid: Some lying is to avoid consequences of bad behavior, or get out of trouble if caught – especially true for children.
It many instead be a need to avoid embarrassment (reason for forgetting an appointment)

❥ Bored: Some people are ‘addicted’ to drama in their life. So they lie to stir it up & watch other people’s reactions

❥ Curiosity: Some people lie when wanting to poke their nose into things that are none of their business, without considering possible harm to self or others – a very childish behavior some don’t grow out of

❥ Covet: When a person is envious of what others have (& don’t know how to get what they want for themself !) they lie by pretending to be happy for someone else’s success or accomplishment

❥ Cover: Some people wear a social mask, pretending to be something they’re not.  To keep up appearances, they lie to hide revealing who they really are

❥ Control: For some, their whole life is trying to control everything & everyone – o they feel safer.  A web of lies are told to keep others in line with their one goals & desires

❥ Deny: Some are convinced they can ‘eliminate’ a person or situation (death of a child, fatal illness) by lying to themself & others to deny the reality, which may be deliberate or by omission

❥ Disappointment: A lie can be told to avoid disappointing another person or even themself, so eliminating their uncomfortable feelings (fear of rejection) justifies the deception

❥ Desire: Wanting to believe a lie someone tells them to be true (‘I love you’ from an abuser) has a deep need / desire to cling to their distorted misconception

❥ Elevate: A person who wants to lift themselves up to another person or group will lie about their high level of morality, strong work ethic, or perfectionistic standards

❥ Fun: Some people lie as their form of private entertainment, to feel superior (“I know something you don’t know”), because they like the power of manipulating others

❥ Gains : The second most common motive for lying, in both children & adults, is to grab a reward not easy to get, or not legitimately available. (on a job application, for an inheritance)

❥Habit: Lying can become a very bas habit with lots of repetition over time, which can seem natural rather than an aberration

❥ Harm: A person determined to harm another person who is vulnerable will lie as a common tactic about who they are & what they’re doing. (abductions, molestation, narcissistic control)

❥ Hide: A person can lie to hide who they are, about what they’re doing or about someone else – to avoid accountability. This can be about their own addiction, their mate being phycaiuly abusive….

❥ Impress: As a way to try impressing others & to look better, a person will lie about who they are, what they’ve done, or where they’re going

❥ Indifference: A person can lie to another about some subject because they doesn’t care whether the listener believes them nor not, nor about any consequence of the lie, so won’t see anything wrong with their deception

❥ Intimidated: Sometimes a lie comes from being intimidated by others. This feeling of inferiority is so uncomfortable that they lie to cover it up (fawning)

❥ Lazy: On occasion, a lie boils down to a person being lazy & not wanting to do the work the promised to do or that was assigned to them, so they lie about the avoidance

NEXT : REASONS we LIE – in Brief (#2)