accessing emotions

ACoAs – ACCESSING Emotions

dmtorbi 12-step, ACoAs, al-anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, mental health, Psychotherapy, recovery, self growth, self-help , , , , ,

LIFE GOES MORE SMOOTHLY
when I accept & manage my emotions

PREVIOUS: ACCEPTING our Es (#1)

SITE: 🔅5 Ways to Access Es

 

ACCESSING Es
For anyone who ever doubted that emotions are real – this digital map BELOW shows scientifically that various emotions create physical energy which can be visually located in the body, depending on which one is being experienced.   (MORE….. scroll to 5/25/14)

• We live in a culture that worships Do-ing over Be-ing, action over introspection, thinking over feeling. Even so, we need outlets for our emotions, no matter how much we deny having them.

◎ To do that, people will use sports event, concerts, movies, hanging out with rowdy friends…. not just as entertainment, to connect with others & enjoy favorite people or activities, but also to artificially generate emotions in socially acceptable ways. It’s called blowing off steam, escaping, just having fun…. but ultimately it’s a way to experience Es not otherwise acceptable – especially in public.

Even in Recovery, ACoAs struggle to access buried Es. We have many methods available to help us get to them, but we also need to be fully aware that it’s not wise or safe to try having all our feelings at once.
It’s important to not rush – “Softly, softly, catchee monkey” – slow & steady works best! Sometimes we can’t help being triggered, but with the right help we can get thru it, & come out of the tunnel feeling lighter

🧠 Feeling safe / unsafe is inseparable from neurological functions of the vagus nerve, connected to all major organs. It controls 3 sub-systems that helps us determine if a situation is safe, dangerous or life-threatening. When any one of the 3 is active it inhibits or shuts down the other 2.  (also related to depression….)
POST : “Dissociation – Healing” = re. the vagus nerve

• Ultimately, the only way to have access to buried Es is if we feel safe enough, which refers to an emotional state of being open & transparent. This means:
a. EXTERNALLY : searching diligently until we find Safe people with good boundaries who can be trusted to not abuse or abandon, & give us the benefit of the doubt in questionable situations
AND environments where we can cry, rage, be vulnerable… without being judged or ostracized. (More….)

b. INTERNALLY – consistently treating ourself much more kindly than we’re used to, so the Inner Child can come out of hiding or stop acting out everywhere.
As we grow psychologically & spiritually we can tolerate more of the buried trauma. IF we stay in the process, old Es will come up, then diminish or fade.
SITE: “Do your children feel emotionally safe?”

TOOLS
DO regular bookending with the IC, and a short daily 10th Step – only list the day’s events briefly, & try to identify which Es might be associated with each one, pleasurable or uncomfortable.
1. The basic triad of Mind-Body-Spirit is a natural place to start.
• Mind: thoughts you’re have over & over tell you that something’s important, either pleasant or unpleasant. Careful attention to what keeps popping up will help identify hidden Es that are “running” you without your awareness

• Body: tightness in the belly, between the shoulders, or any other place in your body, is a message that something’s out of balance. Focus on that area, breathe deeply into it to relax, then ask for info from your body about what’s going on

• Spirit: tuning in to your intuition, consider Spiritual Truths you believe in, observe how you react to others….. What is your relation to others? How clear is that spiritual connection which links you to all other humans ? (MORE…. )

IMAGES ▼ : Physical typography of basic (upper) & non-basic (lower) emotions associated with words. Body maps show regions whose activation is increased (warm) or decreased (cool) when experiencing each emotion. (Color Bar indicates t-statistic range. 0.05 FDR corrected, t >1.94)
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SITEs: re. ANGER / re. LOVE 

🔅“The Art of Processing Emotion”

🔅  Emotional Release videos on YouTube 

🔅 5 ways to access the sub-conscious mind directly – Hypnosis, Self-hypnosis, Meditation, Walking-meditation, Floatation tank

🔅 BODY (& brain) WORK: Brain Repatterining // Core Energetics // CranioSacral // ETF // Kinesiology // Reiki // Rolfing…..

✦ Essential Oils to release blocked Es (videos)
🔅 ‘The Emotion Code’ – get to Es trapped in the body’s electrical flow

NEXT: Emotional Immaturity, #1

ACoAs – ACCEPTING Emotions (Part 1)

dmtorbi 12-step, ACoAs, al-anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, mental health, Psychotherapy, recovery, self growth, self-help ,

accept Es -3IT TAKES A LEAP OF FAITH
to believe it’s OK to have my feelings!

PREVIOUS: “Getting to Know Your Es – Over, #2

SITE : “10 Ways to Access High-Positive Es”

REVIEW: ACoA have been conditioned to believe that having emotions – especially anger – is as evil as killing someone. (POSTs: “Positive uses” for anger).
Also, people living with an intense mood disorder for a long time (panic d., obsessive-compulsive d., manic-depression, rage-a-holism, paranoia….) tend to reject various emotions as unacceptable.
AND, not distinguishing emotions from action can lead to very dangerous behaviors such as self-harming, sexual acting out, chemical addictions…..

• While we do want to aim for serenity & a balanced life, it’s not healthy to cover up painful emotions (Es) & harmful beliefs (Ts) with a bunch of platitudes & ‘positive thinking’, especially without first cleaning out old childhood trauma

ACCEPTANCE
accepting EsHaving access all our Es – as they come up – is essential to becoming fully integrated & able to function well in the world. The processes is never continual or total. It’s just important to accept all of them.
While its sometimes necessary to have some distance from our Es or to even be temporarily shut down – as self-protection – long-term suppression causes bigger problems than whatever was being avoided in the first place.

✶ Naturally we have to take into account —
— the WIC’s over-reaction to people & situations, from the stock-pile of old wounds, &
— to our under-reaction from obeying the Toxic Messages, rather than our True Self.
As we heal & develop our “Unit” we can usually tell the difference between historical vs present-day emotional responses  (“Getting to our Es”)

TOOL
Acceptance EXERCISE – adapted from workbook “Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life,” by Dr. Steven Hayes – an intro to “Acceptance & Commitment Therapy”.
It can be used anytime we have ‘uncomfortable’ Es, starting with ones that are strong enough to notice, but not enough to overwhelm. With experience, this exercise can be applied to more intense Es as well.
USE : Image Streaming & 24 back-up procedures for visualization skills.

a. Identify the E. If there are several at once, pick whichever one you’d like to work on first. Deal with the others later. If you have trouble naming it, sit quietly & notice physical sensations & thoughts, considering what E it may be. If needed, look at a list of emotion words, then write the one (or more) that seems likely to fit

b. With eyes closed, picture how you want this E to look (a color, sound, cartoon, animal….). Then put that emotion-image 5 feet in front of you, so you can look at it outside of yourself. Later on you’ll take it back, but just for a few minutes allow yourself a bit of distance to observe it
c. While picturing the emotion, describe:
“If it had a size, what size would it be?
“If it had a shape, which one?
“If it had a color, which color ?

• Let yourself SEE & feel the size, shape & color you gave the emotion. Watch it for a few minutes & recognize it for what it is – energy that is not harmful. When you’re ready, let it go back to its original place inside you – with its added characteristics

d. With eyes open, consider what you’ve noticed:
• Look at the new dimensions of this E. Is there any change in it by getting a little distance?
• Is your reactions to it different? does it feel different in any way now?
• Write & date your observations.

processing-emotionsUse this exercise with any E. as often as you can.
You may notice positive changes in how you relate to them. As you become less afraid of feeling, it’ll be easier to accept & deal with them

—>  This 5-step chart by Will Meek, PhD. was modified from the book “Expressing Emotions” by researchers Kennedy-Moore & Watson.

Each step can include mistakes & corrections in the process = when we feel something, we can pause right then, & deal with it successfully.  (MORE….)

NEXT: ACoAs – ACCEPTING Emotions (Part 2)