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SITE : “What is Psychological Safety at Work?
POSTs : SAFE – Real Friends – Part 2
🥺 BASIC : For all wounded ACAs – feeling safe is more important than being loved. After all, if you don’t feel safe inside (from Self-Hate) & not safe outside – “the world is a dog-eat dog place” — then how can you take in love, even when offered ?
Besides, if you weren’t treated lovingly by your family as a kid, you’d conclude that it wasn’t meant for you. Not worth the bother, not good enough, not the ‘better’ sibling or gender….. So you’ll try for safety, anyway you can ! but you don’t deserve that either – do you? (POST : “VICIOUS CYCLE of NEEDS“)
Why is emotional safety important?
Humans are designed with needs – to be secure, be significant, & to belong. The need to feel & be safe is a powerful driving force of all life, a requirement before humans – and animals – can let themself be vulnerable.
At its healthiest – it allows us to share our strengths as well as limitations – easily communicated. It provides the freedom to collaborate, dream, be wildly creative, share bold ideas, have more compassion, & express ourself freely with each other.
It’s being calm & balanced, from having good emotional self-control, so the person doesn’t overreact in stressful situations.
Emotional Safety is absolutely necessary for Connection. When you’re seen, heard & accepted, you can be fully yourself. You know your words matter, & when it’s okay to be quiet. It’s having an absolute assurance that the basic experience of being in relationship with others is non-threatening.
◎ Internal
In psychology, emotional safety (E.S.) is one of the characteristics of Secure attachment, built through consistent support & understanding from loved ones. This gives the ability to manage stress & effectively cope with challenges.
Safety is not the absence of difficulty, & it’s more than just comfort in an environment. It’s having a solid psychological foundation, to live without apology for being human, knowing THAT :
☼ you won’t be abandonment if you’re authentic
☂︎ rest & fun are not laziness, but are much needed
💔 no-one can be “perfect”, so don’t waste effort trying
⛅︎ joy does not have to be earned through suffering !
☀︎ conflict can be approached without fear of collapse
☀︎ the need to control every outcome is not necessary
Genuine security is a function of healthy self-esteem, Life’s ups & downs can be very painful but are manageable because underneath it all, you believe in yourself. So how safe you feel depends on the degree of your inner self-acceptance.
Also, when you’re building a life on loving self-respect, you make others feel comfortable around you because you’re comfortable “in your skin”, even to the point of being seen by others as strong, level-headed & leader-like.
It allows you to :
√ always be fully yourself, but most easily when around others who value, accept & believe in you AND
√ be aware of a wide range of emotions, being internally stable enough to feel them without the worry of being overwhelmed or judged.
NOTE : Don’t confuse bone-deep self-esteem and emotional maturity with narcissistic arrogant self-assurance & entitlement.
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⬇️ These quotes come from “TheMIGHTY” community
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NEXT : Deferent TYPES of Safety
HEAL & GROW for ACoAs 