PREVIOUS : ADULTING #2

SITE:  “How Do You Develop Whole Object Relations as an Adult?”

 

SIGNS that You’re ‘Getting it Together’ (finally growing up)
🔅 You actually put effort into your appearance in the am, at least most days. Messy hair, chin stubble & yoga pants will only take you so far in this world. While your closet may not be like a high profile fashionista or in GQ magazine, you can still pull outfits together that make you look & feel good.

🔅 You’ve started taking care of your body
You finally get what people were trying to tell you all those years growing up : You will not always be able to eat what you want without gaining weight or staying fit. Physical appearance aside, you’re starting to take your health seriously .  You may not enjoy everything it entails, but you accept it – eventually seeing & feeling the benefits

🔅 Don’t worry anymore about over-drafting your checking
While you may not be living a luxurious lifestyle, or aren’t as comfortable as you’d wish, you’ve got enough to make rent every month & also have a social life. You’ve finally gotten smart about budgeting & spending, even of that means having someone help you figure it out

🔅 Don’t suffer from FOMO. (fear of missing out =  anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, without you)
You still enjoy joining the gang once in  a while, but regularly hanging out at the bar until 3am has gotten boring & not good for you the next day.  So you’re not weighed down with anxiety & despair when you decide to opt out more often.

🔅 Can answer – “So, what do you like to do for fun?”
It’s okay that you still hate being asked, because it sounds like you’re being treated as a kid. But since you’re able to fill your free time with enjoyable activities of your own choice , you can actually give an acceptable & mature answer.
And it’s okay if you throw in an occasional exaggerations (you ‘like working out’, when you really just go to yoga twice a month….). Whether this Q comes at you from potential employers or distant relatives, you are (are becoming) a well-rounded, grounded person who definitely does not spend all your spare time on social media & Netflix binges (wink).

🔅 Don’t constantly dump negativity & emotional baggage on anyone who will listen
The older you get, the more you accept that everyone has something to worry about – student loans, a mediocre job, an unstable relationship….
Every day there are lots of stressors (family, jobs, friends, finances & impending life-crises to deal with). The healthiest people know how to keep complaints to a minimum, face their issues, get the right kind of support & find more productive ways to spend their time & energy

🔅 Don’t get upset if someone doesn’t like you
You’re finally realizing when someone doesn’t deserve your time or are taking advantage of you. You have a good group of friends who know you, so no longer need to any spent time with superficial or judgmental people. There aren’t that many ‘good ones’ out there – so acknowledging anyone who doesn’t like or appreciate you just makes the weeding-out process easier!

🔅 Don’t chase anyone for attention
You’ve come to realize that anyone who needs to be pushed to make time for you – because they actually want to – isn’t worth your time.

🔅 You have (at least) some accomplishments you’re proud of
Your life has meaning, you’re proud of your actions, & are not ashamed to talk about who you are. You’ve acknowledged your skills & strengths, & found a way to use them, making definite strides toward goals. You may still have a ways to go toward your dream job, but with clear plans & perseverance, you’re moving forward.

🔅 You realize some things are out of your control, & it’s ok
You’re making peace with the fact that, as much as you’d wish, life is going to throw you situations you don’t know how to handle. You’ll still make mistakes or fail sometimes, but then pick yourself up & get back on track. (resilience)
Being open to useful changes encourages progress. But while it’s important to follow our dreams so our life is fulfilling, it’s also important get thru the ‘downs’.  Adults aren’t easily discouraged!

NEXT : ADULTING, #5