WHAT YOU LOOK’N AT? you look’n at me?

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See ACRONYM page for abbrev.

SITE: Depression & Anger

OTHER Anger-EXPRESSIONS (cont)
▪️HATING anger
This is the cold fire that started as accumulated anger toward someone or something which the hater feels is totally evil & totally undeserving of compassion or forgiveness.
They still see themself as an innocent victim. Yes, there may have been a time when they were – but may not be any more. Their rage has never been processed & resolved, & in the form of obsessive resentments, it can go on forever. They vow to despise the offenders, often thinking about ways to punish them, & sometimes they do.

If these ragers can’t get back at the original perpetrator(s), they find other opportunities in life to vent their bitterness. They create a universe of enemies to fight, attacking with great vigor & enthusiasm.
However, this hatred causes themself serious damage over time – just as much as harming others. Haters can’t let go or get on with life. They become hard & miserable, stuck in a narrow, rigid existence.

▪️JUDGMENTAL anger
Being judgmental of others is a way of saying that WHO someone is – is bad, instead of evaluating their behavior as good or bad OR as not suited to oneself
Being constantly judgmental indicates being closed minded, with a lack of respect, empathy & good manners ‘Judgy’ people find fault with almost everything & everyone, from the government to the color of a car.
Actually, they’re angry & resentful about their own life, which they project out onto the world.
Instead of correcting problems of their own, hurting others is used as a way of making themself feel better, by directing critical, shaming or scathing comments at the object of their anger, or at any available substitute.

🔺 Being judgmental is very different from making good judgments—> which is realistically evaluating the merits of something (safe/ unsafe, positive/ negative, healthy/ unhealthy) in general, or as applied to our specific needs (the appropriate person to date, healthiest foods, best way to spend our money…..)

▪️LOW-LEVEL anger can be:
√ mild, when a situation is annoying but not serious, often suppressed, OR
√ strong but hidden anger, & may be disguised as nonchalance. This is harder to spot in someone, but can be hinted at by their impatience or exasperation over the smallest thing (a fly buzzing, a person wearing something unattractive, a loud commercial….), especially if it doesn’t seem to bother anyone else.

It also can be expressed as being argumentative, easily frustrated & cranky. A way to tell if someone you know is an angry low-level-er, is to ask  : “Is there any family member  / frond / mate….. whose constant irritability affects your ability to have a good relationship with them?”  If Yes, then they probably have this indirect style of anger.

INTERESTING contrast – Much of our psychological ‘wisdom’ tells us that it’s bad to express too much anger, but this is not true in every culture.
EXP: Young people out drinking on a Friday night —
🇬🇧 in England, hospital ERs are full by midnight with fight injuries. Whereas,
🇧🇮 in Basque cities (northern Spain) you’ll see a group of people in a bar arguing so vigorously it seems inevitable that a fight will break out – but it rarely does. Low-level anger is not just expressed, it’s almost exaggerated, so that the full-blown variety is usually not needed

Whatever the nationality, alcohol loosens inhibitions, so the most likely explanation for the difference is that the Basques bottle their anger up less, while the Brits need the bottle to let it out. (from ‘The Guardian’)

🇵🇷 In the USA – there’s an epidemic of low-level-continuous-anger.
One way it shows up is in “the ambient misanthropy of snarkiness – the snide, bitchy, cynical, catty, sarcastic, irascible remarks or quips at the expense of other people. They’re not actually witty – like Oscar Wilde, Dorothy Parker, Mae West – but rather snotty remarks, poking fun in a hurtful, superior way. ‘Snarky’ is intended as brutally-blunt irony, often delivered in an abrupt manner to stun.” (MORE…..)

NEXT: Anger Categories (Part 9)