“3 Keys to Self-Understanding” – Pat Wyman, combines the MBTI, Enneagram & Inner Child Work
◆ “Are You My Type, Am I Yours?, Relationships Made Easy Through the Enneagram” ~ Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele
REASONS to study The Enneagram (& other personality systems)
1. For US
Accurately identifying & studying our Type, including all its complexities, can help explain how we function in relationships, what kind of career suits us best & how we are at work, what our gift are, what defenses we use to ‘protect’ ourselves & therefore what needs to be corrected….. so we can stop saying “I don’t know who I am”
a You’ll be able to let yourself off the hook
b. You can stop banging your head against the wall
c. It’ll make you smarter, improve memory, mood, & keep brain healthy
d. It has what you’re looking for (re. Growth) (Explanations.…. )
2. Re. OTHERS
All ACoAs start out desperately wanting / needing to be understood & connected with, to the point of symbiosis. This makes it hard to see others as individuals with a core identity of their own, especially if they’re very different from us. As we become emotionally healthier & want to function well in the world, we greatly benefit from learning about the basic nature of all the other Types, so we can relate to others based on who they are.
◆ Other people will make you less crazy (see above link)
ALSO, it’s imperative to identify extremes of damaging behavior (cruelty, mental illness….) in our family, friends, loves & bosses, as ACoAs have :
— very little realistic frame of reference for ‘sanity’
— built-in blinders to repeated abuse we’re subjected to, even when part of us is aware of it
— a compulsion to white-wash our perpetrators, so we don’t have to distance ourselves or leave them
IMP: Most people come to the wrong conclusion as to their Type because the correct one is based on our defensive style rather than our better qualities. It’s hard to see our automatic way of functioning, so in spite of S-H, most of us are in denial about how we habitually protect ourselves.
To find the truth we need to start with each Type’s ‘Basic Flaws & Fears’. If we’ve done extensive self-inventories we’ll be able to pick out the one that consistently fits our behavior & attitudes.
HOW each Type would approach a RIVER to cross
Imagine a large group made up of all 9 Types traveling together, coming to a river without a bridge. How do they deal with this obstacle? Each type is unaware of their True Nature, yet unconsciously approached it in their own ‘compulsive’, default style. Notice not everyone gets across!
ONES search for & find the only ‘perfect’ place to cross
TWOS start to swim across, then double back to help others. Because they continue to do this, they never get across themselves. Some drown from exhaustion
THREES wait at the edge until they’re the center of attention. Then they wear their best outfit & swim with fancy strokes
FOURS cross using a variety of artsy styles, even doing a water ballet
FIVES never get into the river. They hide behind a tree & and take notes on what everyone else does
SIXES either fearfully grab onto someone strong to help them across, OR stride into the water & do the traditional over-arm stroke
SEVENS splash, dive & generally have a party, & it doesn’t matter if they get across or not, as long as they’re entertaining the crowd
EIGHTS march into the water & swim upstream – against the current – but they always get across. Some even help the weaker ones
NINES amble into the water & float downstream – with the current. If they don’t drift out to sea, they eventually land OK (from: Lessons4Living)
NEXT: Ennea FLAWS #1