Author: dmtorbi

Self-Regulation : COGNITIVE Domain √

dmtorbi ACoAs

PREVIOUS : Biological Domain

ACoA website : ⛰ Negative “Decision Making Styles” – 2 charts
🪴”Problem Solving & Decision Making” – 5 charts
◉ POSTs : LIST of “To think” alternative words (scroll down)


2. COGNITIVE (mental / thinking)
“Cognition” refers to any mental process involved in gaining knowledge : attention, perception, memory & problem-solving. The domain is also about verbal & written communication.

• Self-Regulation in this domain is concerned with the basis of these processes – the so-called Roots of Attention, which involve the body as much as the mind. S-R should not be confused with mental ability or academic performance skill. Instead, it is a self-directed inner process & set of actions used by learner to transform their mental abilities into practical skills.

Having positive mental control is a critical requirement needed to stop oneself from doing & saying self-defeating or abusive things in response to environmental & internal demands.
 Roy Baumeister et.al listed S-R’s mental availability as: 
a. knowledge – needed to exert self-control
b. strength – requiring willpower, so is a limited resource
c. a skill – built up over time & can not be diminished

High-order mental processes such as decision making require flexible mental control. This adaptability provides the resources to modify planned responses as needed, & reacts appropriately to ever-changing information from external events & internal goals (Duque et al. 2017).

With any new skill, learning goes through 4 basic stages :
1: Unconscious INcompetence
We’re not aware of lacking skill in some area
2: Conscious INcompetence
We’re now aware that we don’t know something, perhaps causing a feeling of weakness & inadequacy, which our ego wants to avoid. What’s required is the determination to follow through to the goal, with self-compassion, hard work & discipline (cultivating the will).

3: Conscious Competence
A commitment to consistent practice of new info & skills – with devotion, patience & kindness toward oneself. It requires the ability to manage one’s time & effort while moving through boring plateaus & long periods of hard work.
Observing our progress builds confidence, & reviewing where we once were allows us to marvel at improvements. We still need to focus intently on learning, but growth is undeniable.

4: UNconscious Competence
The real ‘magic’ happens at this final stage of transformation. From total darkness, awkwardness, discomfort & frustration experienced in stages 1 & 2, through herculean efforts of consistent practice in stage 3, emerges a new level of ‘being’.

To perform a skill effortlessly no longer requires conscious focus. Automatic responses allow us to be in an absorbed mental state, as “in the zone / in the flow.” We see this in great athletes, musicians, orators, & anyone on the path of self-mastery.

S-R LEARNING occurs BY:
1. Planning : think through your task, set goals, outline strategies to tackle it, &/or create a schedule for the task
2. Monitoring: put the plans into action. Closely monitor performance & experiences from the chosen methods
3. Reflection: When finished & results are in, review on how well you did (➕/➖), & why you performed the way you did (see S-R post “Self-Reflection“)

Components of S-R learning
💎 Cognition = skills & habits needed to encode, memorize & recall info, as well as to think critically & problem-solve
💎 Meta-cognition = ability to stand back, take a birds-eye view of yourself in a situation, & observe how you problem-solve (negative versions -3 posts)
Also : using self-monitoring & self-evaluation skills (“How did I do, or how am I doing ?”). Knowledge IS:
▫️declarative – what influences your performance
▫️procedural  – about learning strategies & tactics
▫️conditional – why & when to use a particular strategy

💎 Motivation  = beliefs & attitudes that affect the use & development of both cognitive & meta-cognitive skills, by understand & monitoring then both
▫️self-efficacy – degree of confidence that one can perform a task or accomplish a goal
▫️epistemological beliefs  – about the origin & nature of knowledge

⚙️ The Cognitive domain includes the stress of processing various kinds of information, maintaining attention, dealing with time pressures, & the demands on our working memory.
Sustained concentration of any kind can take a high energy drain on a person’s autonomic nervous system (ANS). So someone uncomfortable for any reason in a learning situation will have to work harder to concentrate than someone who’s calm & alert. And problems self-regulating in any of the other domains can seriously limit their ability to focus on a mental task.
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NEXT : Emotional Domain

Self-Regulation : BIOLOGICAL Domain √

dmtorbi ACoAs

biologic domainPREVIOUS : Bottom-Up 

SITE : “Domains & Strategies for Self-Regulation” re. students


Self-Regulation includes being aware of the people-places-things in our daily life (PPT) that upset us & how they impact our ability to develop ways to cope. Dr. Stuart Shanker identified 5 areas of behavior as reactions to stressors :

Biological:  physical factors : general health & sensory issues
Cognitive: attention, concentration, perseverance, thinking
Emotion: re. strong & uncomfortable feelings
Social: social interaction, relationships, friends
Prosocial: our empathy, moral judgments & behavior, effects of other people’s stress

Why look at these areas ?
☆ Stress in one domain can cause or worsen stress in another
☆ It helps us see beyond the most obvious stressors
⭐︎ See children’s (& our own stress) more holistically
☆ Opens our eyes to more possibilities for reducing stress

Pupil dilation predicts self-regulation success across domains, in response to emotionally relevant stimuli, with excellent test–retest reliability. Core aspects of daily life include being able to experience different emotional states & if necessary, adaptively regulate our reactions. The eyes are one way to measure this.
The Sympathetic System controls pupil dilation in response to emotional arousal, & the Parasympathetic controls constriction in response to brightness changes.

➡️  CHART : Results of self-regulation tasks & behavior = Each block shows the emotion reappraisal success of testing. Black solid line indicates group average & the white box its standard error. Each grey dot – in the center – is the average ratings for one participant.

RESEARCH conclusion: Pupil dilation is a proxy used to infer the person’s central arousal state. The difference between – reappraising tests & viewing of emotional stimuli – predicted the degree participants were able to balance their feelings to make them more neutral. Results were tied to each person’s level of regulation-related arousal, itemized by pupil dilation, & independent of the estimated effects of task difficulty. (MORE….)
1.  BIOLOGICAL Domain
This category involves general physical health = sleep, nutrition, exercise, & various ways to consciously maintain energy, as well as the role our nervous system plays in regulating energy levels.

It’s grounded in ‘Arousal Regulation’, which is the energized state of readiness to perform any action. This is made up of competing forces between Activation vs. Fight-or-Flight responses of the Sympathetic Nervous System’s (SNS), and the inhibition, feed-&-breed ** responses of the Para-sympathetic Nervous System.

** Involuntary activities that occur when the body is at rest, especially after eating, including : sexual arousal, salivation, lacrimation (tears), urination, digestion, and defecation.

How much activation or recovery is needed for any particular task will vary for each child & adult, situation by situation.
As the Loving Parent ego state in Recovery, it’s important to recognize states of arousal in oneself, so we can adjust emotions through up-regulating (energizing) or down-regulating (calming) our behavior & activities, to maintain optimal equilibrium.  See: “Sensory Diet for Adults“.
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« Biological influences on S-R
Molecular genetics & Behavioral research have shown a definite genetic component to Self-Regulation. Most brain regions are inherited regulatory structures, such as the dorsal prefrontal cortex, orbital frontal cortex, superior parietal cortex & temporal lobe.
These studies suggest that some differences in children’s abilities to self-regulate are related to individual distinctions in their genetics. Naturally, there are other factors & influences such as environment, therefore self-regulation can be modified & is responsive to intervention.

4 Neural Mechanisms used to deal with stress, in descending order, are:
(1) social engagement
(2) fight-or-flight  (3) freeze
(4) dissociation.
If one strategy is inadequate to deal with the present stress, the brain’s ranking procedure for responding to threat will shift to the next option. The most beneficial is ‘social engagement’.

Biological stressors contribute to the quality of our day & our overall physical condition.  EXP : if you’re sick, or didn’t sleep well – it makes sense why you can’t concentrate on a report you have to write.
The brain-body has to respond to & recover from a current (or cumulative) stressor which depletes our energy.

Other energy zappers not always considered to cause a physical imbalance : daylight-savings time changes, dense written text with too little white space in presentations or books, smog in the air, strong smells, sudden weather changes…..
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NEXT : Cognitive Domain

SONG : “THIS is ME”

dmtorbi ACoAs

PREVIOUS : Self-Reg – Emotional DYSREG .

⬅️ Travis George
23 yr old Welsh singer

NOTE : Self-Regulation Posts CONTINUE NEXT.

The SONG “THIS IS ME” is from The Greatest Showman, in the 2017 movie about P.T. Barnum who started his traveling circus show featuring unusual animals & ‘odd’ people, in 1870. Performed by Keala Settle, as Lettie Lutz, a bearded lady.

This song is about strength in the face of criticism. The singer confirms her individuality & self-acceptance. One of the most moving non-movie versions is by Travis George, a 2023 semi-finalist on BGT.

❇️ This song could be used as an anthem for all ACoAs!
We can reinterpret some words to apply to our life.

❣️”THEY” – can be our drunk, crazy, narcissistic family. Also abusive schoolmates, partners, bosses….

❣️”SCARS” & “BRUISED” – are the marks on one’s skin from beatings, accidents or self-injury. But it can also mean internal marks received from emotional abuse. Another possibility is anyone bullied for marching through life to the beat of a “different drummer”

❣️”BROKEN PARTS” – ACoAs : Wounded Child, healthy Child, negative Introject, healthy Adult & missing LOVING Inner parent. To form a whole inner family, some have to be ‘revised’ & others need much attention & healing.  Remember : We are ‘Damaged not defective’.

❣️”NO ONE WILL LOVE US” – is all the awful, painful reality that we were neglected, abused & abandoned by the very people who should have cherished & cared for us

❣️”US” – can be all of us Children of addicts & narcissists who identify as wounded but not defeated – working separately & in groups to heal & grow

❣️”ASHAMED” – is of course our own Self-Hate, as well as having absorbed constant shaming from family members & peers. One mother often said to her young daughter “Look ashamed !” even when the child wasn’t doing anything wrong

❣️”HIDE AWAY” – many ACoAs isolate as a way of trying to protect themself from being mistreated by the world the way we were by our parents. It can also look OK on the outside but hide internally by shutting down emotionally,  being dissociated, living in our head, disconnected from our body

❣️”A PLACE FOR US”- be part of Recovery & spiritual healing groups. But broader than that – a place in the world for our talents & for our empathy toward others like ourselves

❣️’GLORIOUS”- validating the True Self – our natural gifts, intelligence, fierce determination to overcome obstacles, creativity…..we were born with.

LYRICS
… I am not a stranger to the dark“Hide away, ” they say“‘Cause we don’t want your broken parts”I’ve learned to be ashamed of all my scars“Run away, ” they say“No one’ll love you as you are”

… But I won’t let them break me down to dustI know that there’s a place for usFor we are glorious

… When the sharpest words wanna cut me downI’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown ’em outI am brave, I am bruised   I am who I’m meant to be, this is meLook out ’cause here I comeAnd I’m marching on to the beat I drumI’m not scared to be seenI make no apologies, this is me

Oh-oh… Another round of bullets hits my skinWell, fire away ’cause today, I won’t let the shame sink inWe are bursting through the barricades andReaching for the sun (we are warriors)Yeah, that’s what we’ve become (yeah, that’s what we’ve become)

… I won’t let them break me down to dustI know that there’s a place for usFor we are glorious

… When the sharpest words wanna cut me down I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown ’em outI am brave, I am bruisedI am who I’m meant to be, this is meLook out ’cause here I comeAnd I’m marching on to the beat I drumI’m not scared to be seenI make no apologies, this is me

Oh-oh-oh…. This is me

… and I know that I deserve your loveThere’s nothing I’m not worthy ofWhen the sharpest words wanna cut me downI’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown ’em outThis is brave, this is bruisedThis is who I’m meant to be, this is me

… Look out ’cause here I come And I’m marching on to the beat I drum I’m not scared to be seenI make no apologies, this is me

… Whenever the words wanna cut me downI’ll send a flood to drown ’em out I’m gonna send a flood Gonna drown them ’em out Oh, Oh…. This is me

♦️ As recovering adults we can teach our WIC (wounded Inner Child) to take courage, & triumph over all the old hurts.

NEXT : Self-Regulation -BIOLOGICAL Domain

Self-Regulation : EQ LEADERS √

dmtorbi ACoAs

PREVIOUS :
Self-Reg & E-I QUOTIENT

SITEs :
▶︎ “50 tips for improving your emotional intelligence”
◀︎ “The Rise of Emotional Intelligence: Why EQ is Essential for Modern Leadership”


EQ  = Emotional Intelligence QUOTIENT


High EQ Leaders, Communicators, Healers = THEY :
♦️ Self-regulate
Their EQ skills benefit them in both business & social situations, allowing them to stay calm, keep a clear head & focus on the issues at hand. They rarely get overly emotional – without temper tantrums or hysterical outbursts, & don’t make impulsive, careless decisions. They can manage delaying gratification, accepting that waiting for what they want may bring better results.

♦️ Want to be a good, moral person
“Moral identity,” is an aspect of EQ, wanting to see oneself as ethical & caring. They work at building up this aspect of themself (regardless of how they’ve acted in past moral situations)

♦️ Love changes
They are emotionally flexible & constantly adapting, since they know that fear of change is paralyzing, a major threat to happiness & success. They look for positive changes lurking just around the corner, & form a plan of action when those do show up.

THEY ARE :
♦️ Curious 
A deep sense of wonder & curiosity makes them delightful to be around. They don’t judge, but explore possibilities with an open mind, asking questions & are available to new solutions.

♦️ Empathic
They’re able to understand other people’s points of view, even without a lot of firsthand experience to draw from. Those who can  feel empathy for their co-workers can respond in more constructive ways, even anticipating teammates’, subordinates’, or manager’s needs.

♦️ Focused on Positives
While not ignoring the bad news, they consciously decided to not waste time & energy on problems. Rather, they find what’s positive in a situation & look for solutions, focusing on what’s possible, & what’s in their control.

♦️ a Great Leader
Most successful leaders have a high E-I coefficient. They like to lead by example, aware that it’s not enough to delegate to get things done properly – if they’re not willing to “walk the walk”. They are very talented, have a good work ethic & are ambitious.

♦️ Highly motivated
They’re able to focus, stay on-task & are better at handling stress. This comes from being more self-managed & less impulsive – not overtaken by emotions, nor ignoring them. Also, they can use emotions as a guide foo make good decisions, rather than just on an intellectual basis.

♦️ Not easily offended
With a firm grasp of who they are, it’s hard to get very upset when others say or do something annoying or abusive. Being self-confident & open-minded, they also tend to have a rather thick skin. While drawing the line between humor & humiliation, they don’t always take themself so seriously, & can even take some ribbing from others.

♦️ Respected by others
 Managers are widely respected by their bosses, peers, and employees. They like people and are savvy enough to know what makes them tick. Their ability to quickly build rapport and trust with those on whom they depend seems almost second nature. Power wars, backbiting, and duplicity are not their style.

♦️ Responsible
They take responsibility for their own life, & don’t rush to blame others when something goes wrong. understanding that current circumstances are a result of decisions they’ve taken so far. They identify what can be done differently the next time, & develop a plan to implement those changes.

♦️ Self-aware
They know their advantages & accept weaknesses, & analyze how to work most effectively within this framework

♦️ Socially Aware
They can read non-verbal communication & social cues, tuning into other people’s emotions & attitudes. This helps them see the inter-personal interactions in groups or larger organizations

♦️ Able to stand pressure & fight it
They don’t freak out easily, so others look to them for reassurance when things get crazy. In a bad situation, they’re the strong shoulder to cry on, the source of light to look toward, the beacon of hope, the rock. EQ leaders embrace this position fully. If they sometimes lose your cool they don’t obsess over it, just dust themself off & move forward.

(Modified from  Salman C.  TÜV Rheinland Middle East)

NEXT :

Self-Regulation : EMOTIONAL Intelligence √

dmtorbi ACoAs

PREVIOUS :
S-R & Emotion Regulation

SITE : Self-report tests
— This one from Truity 


Emotional Intelligence  Quotient (EQ) is a set of skills that helps us reason with & about emotion. They are key building blocks for children & adults providing positive outcomes in mental & social functioning —-> psychological well-being, academic & workplace performance & leadership effectiveness.
It’s about knowing ourself better & sharpening the ability to handle emotions in everyday decisions & our interaction with others.
People with high EQ traits are empathetic, tuned in, perceptive. With gratitude, they count their blessings while acknowledging that nobody is perfect.

To measure one’s EQ, one type of test △ has a person answering questions or statements by rating their own behaviors. Another type involves asking people to respond to situations & then assessing their skills. It also requires them to actively show their abilities, which are then rated by a third party.

Self-Regulation is a core component of  (EQ)
According to Daniel Goleman, the 5 components are:
• Empathy = A key interpersonal skill, it’s the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, to see a situation from their perspective.
As well as being aware of others’ feelings, it’s important to respond fairly – even when not agreeing with them.
Respecting diversity & inclusion is a vital aspect of empathy, as is communication – paying close attention to what you & others say, both verbally or through body language

• Internal motivation – This partly stems from understanding what you want to do & why. It’s about your drive to improve & achieve, having high standards & consistently working towards your goals.  This means being positive & assertive,  ready to act on opportunities as they come along. Motivation is driven by optimism which results in resilience.

• Self-awareness = Recognize & understand what you’re feeling & why – as well as how they affect others around you. You know when to step back & question your feelings & thoughts before acting.  It’s the basis of good intuition & decision-making, based on knowing your strengths, weaknesses & your values.

• Self-regulation = A result of being emotional aware is managing all emotions effectively. By holding yourself accountable for your actions & staying true to your values – you treat others with respect. When under stress you consciously step back to take a deep breath, it helps those around you feel reassured, & can motivate them take positive actions when needed.

• Social  /Soft skills —-> “friendliness with a purpose” so everyone is treated politely & with respect, used both for personal & organizational benefit. Those with a high EQ are often  called a ‘people person’, who are adept at dealing with others. They make great leaders, are trustworthy, inspire & motivate others, manage change, resolve conflict effectively, & giving praise where it’s due.

When these 5 areas are working well & in balance, we’re better able to face eternal & external pressures.  Think of our physical, mental & emotional energy (PMES) like a battery on an electronic device. Overuse can drained it quickly, needing to be regularly replenished. In the same way – we can’t successfully manage emotional stress when our internal battery is depleted. EQ is resilience.

4 HABITS of emotionally strong, EQ people.  THEY….
📍Control Attention, Not Emotions = ….focus on being in charge of their mental meandering  & intuition – by choosing what to think about, shifting away from obsessing & worry toward learning & problem-solving
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📍 Practice Compassionate Self-Talk = ….. know the importance of being self-compassionate & understanding, specially when feeling down, rather than being harsh. They regularly hold nurturing inner dialogues with the Inner Child, with the same kindness & support they will offer a struggling friend.

📍 Set & Enforce Healthy Boundaries = ….. protect their mental & emotional health. Without clear limits with self & others, they disregard their own wants & needs – which are the foundations of boundaries. It may be challenging in the short term, but it promotes personal growth & improved relationships.

📍 Use Values to Make Decisions = ….. know it requires consistent effort & developing specific habits. They focus on controlling attention, practicing self-care, use values to make decisions, & have healthy boundaries.
These habits empower them to “hold & handle” their emotions, for a more fulfilled & balanced life.
Remember, emotional strength is not about suppressing emotions but responding to them in a healthy and constructive way.

NEXT : S-R :- EQ Leaders

Self-Regulation : EMOTIONAL Dysregulation √

dmtorbi ACoAs

PREVIOUS :
S-R & Emotional -EQ

 

 

EMOTIONAL DYSregulation  (E-D) is the inability to use healthy strategies to diffuse or moderate painful emotions. When in this state, we can act in ways that overwhelm us further, getting stuck in a vicious emotional cycle. It’s on a spectrum between under & over-reactive styles.Either extreme makes it hard to self-soothe & return to a baseline emotional state.
Research indicated that psychological dysfunction (such as affective or borderline personality disorders) may be identified as a lack of emotion-regulation flexibility

Someone with dysregulated emotions may have :
♦︎ extreme perfectionism
♦︎ high levels of shame, guilt
♦︎ heightened, unstable painful emotions
♦︎ high sensitivity to emotions in social situations
♦︎ inability to inhibit impulsive behaviors
♦︎ low tolerance for frustration
♦︎ obsessing on an emotional situation
♦︎ reduced awareness & understanding of emotions
♦︎ severe depression, &/or continual anxiety
♦︎ suicidal thoughts or attempts

Common reactions / behaviors :
♞ alcohol & substance abuse. Self-injury
♞ avoiding or withdrawal from difficult situations
♞ conflict in interpersonal relationship
♞ dissociating , numbness, distractibility
♞ emotional eating, sleep dysfunctions
♞ over-use of social media, neglecting other responsibilities
♞ impulsive, reckless . high risk sexual activity
♞ rage, &/or violent outbursts

LOW Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
♦︎ Limited Recognition: trouble accurately identifying emotions
♦︎ Emotional Ignorance : unable to handle emotional triggers
♦︎ Impulsive Reactions : have knee-jerk emotions & “acting-out’ behaviors
♦︎ Ineffective Coping : often use unhealthy strategies
♦︎ Reduced Empathy: makes interpersonal conflicts more likely & harder to resolve
♦︎ Trouble Verbalizing : Missing, inaccurate or distorted ways of expressing emotions often lead to miscommunication / misunderstanding, & conflicts, causing personal or work losses.

CHILDHOOD CAUSES
√ Environment. Whether is the family or the physical environment, a bad environment can negatively impact a person’s ability to process & respond to emotions.
√ Traumatic brain injury. A mental dysfunction caused by an outside force, usually a violent blow to the head.‌

√ Temperament – is determined by genetic inheritance, usually stable across time & situations. Differences in siblings show up very early in life. Some infants are calm & even-tempered, others tend to have more intense & longer stress-(over)reactions

√ Trauma – Experiencing or witnessing abuse, especially in childhood, causes catastrophic emotions which a child or adult cannot process, understand &/or integrate. This leads to severe emotional dysregulation. The overwhelming intensity of painful feelings can lead to developing long-term inflexible strategies

Child neglect. A form of parental abuse that deprives a child’s basic needs, including inadequate or missing —-> supervision, health care, clothing, or housing, as well as other physical, emotional, social, educational, & safety needs.
Chronic low levels of invalidation. This occurs when a person’s thoughts and feelings are rejected, ignored, or judged.

√ Attachment styles = Early connection-experiences shape emotion regulation abilities.  Infants need caregivers to help modulate their emotions through Attuned Bonding.  Without this, children fail to develop self-soothing capacities & instead will rely on external regulation, expressed as co-dependence, people-pleasing & passive-aggressive interactions. (See posts on Insecure attachment styles )

E-D Symptoms in  Related DISORDERS
Poor emotion regulation in childhood may increase the development of other mental health disorders. Also, having a neuro-developmental condition may include symptoms of poorer emotional regulation.

♛ Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
Such people likely have strong reactions to small setbacks, feel emotions more intensely than others, have difficulty calming down, with a low tolerance for frustration or annoyance.

♛ Autism spectrum disorders (ASD)
These people often have greater or more intense baseline levels of “negative” emotions or irritability, poorer problem-solving skills, can become easily overstimulated, & find it harder to detect other people’s emotions.

♛ Borderline personality disorder (BPD)
Symptoms are heightened & changeable negative moods, weak ur missing appropriate regulation strategies, & a surplus of unhealthy / self-defeating strategies.

♛ Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD)
Often diagnosed in adults or children with repeated trauma experiences (abuse, neglect, & violence).
E-D symptoms involve great trouble self-calming when distressed, & chronic emotional numbing.

♛ Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (DMDD)
This childhood condition can involve extreme moods & intense temper outbursts. It includes intense reactions to painful emotions with anger, irritability .
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‼️ For HEALING – RECOVERY ideas = see long lists in future posts —- >“Adults” & “Growth”

NEXT :

Self-Regulation : EMOTIONAL Regulation √

dmtorbi ACoAs

PREVIOUS : S-R -Emotion Domain

SITEs : ▶︎  6 Key Skills to Regulate Emotions = Self-awareness, Mindful awareness, Cognitive reappraisal, Adaptability, Self-compassion, & Emotional support
▶︎ S-R Affirmation CARDS for WOMEN with ADHD & ANXIETY

▶︎ 3 Science-Based Emotion Regulation Strategies = Reappraisal, Self-soothing, Attentional control.Emotional Regulation (E-R) includes both pleasant & unpleasant emotions, & actively using the tools 🛠️ makes it possible for us to be in charge of them. It involves :
• Initiating actions triggered by emotions —-> Inhibiting those actions when necessary —-> & Modulating those responses.IMP :  Emotion regulation (E-R) is not aimed at eliminating our emotions, but rather being flexible, so we can manage many different experience with grace & humor ! Rigid or numb reactions are unhealthy, but flexibility makes adjustments to new information & experiences easier.

Emotional flexibility develops from learning a variety of mental & behavioral strategies (see “SITEs” ↑ & Chart ↓). They are to be used according to the demand of a current situation, & practiced through each person’s unique characteristics.

Under stress our brain’s natural reaction is to activate the amygdala, which regulates fight-or-flight responses. Using E-R tools lets us buy time to consider options, before automatically reacting in self-defeating ways. Functioning as a modifier, E-R helps us filter events in daily life, ☀︎choosing to deal with the most important issue presented so it doesn’t become a burden or dangerous.

“R.U.L.E.R.“= E-R used to cope with everyday situations & feelings
♚ Recognize emotions in myself & others
♚ Understand the triggers & causes of my emotions
♚ Label words that best describe feelings so I can communicate them accurately
♚ Express – learn how to act appropriately & skillfully in social situations
♚ Regulate – develop strategies to manage & moderate feelings. This will allow me to make wiser responses to emotional situations, & help reach my goals more easily.

E-R Skills are essential for personal ‘ease’, success & smooth-running relationships.  Categories they apply to :
• Behavioral = sensory-motor strategies
• Language = words or other symbols
• Meta-cognitive = ability to reflect on & talk about mental tools, including  skills that support personal organization & regulation

a. Self-regulation = achieved independently without the support of others.  Goals :
• Be available for learning, & to interact with others
• Regulate self during new & changing situations
• Recover from extreme dysregulation by oneself
• Use action strategies to regulate arousal level during familiar activities
• Use language strategies to regulate arousal (a trigger) during familiar activities

b. Mutual regulation = exercised in supportive social interactions.  Goals :
• Able to Express a range of emotions
• Respond to assistance offered by family, partners, friends
• Request assistance from valued ‘others’ to regulate state
• Respond well to feedback & guidance regarding behavior
• Recover from extreme dysregulation with support from valued ‘others’

⬇️  Gross  identified identified 5 types of responses in the emotional regulation process :  a. Situation selection, b. Situation modification, c. Attention deployment, d. Cognitive change & e. Response modulation

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Combining strategies
Gross stresses that emotions do not need to be regulated or modified all the time – only when they interfere with desired activity or goals. Gross and John, 2003
1. Cognitive re-appraisal (Antecedent) = correcting & modifying our interpretation of a situation that has triggered an emotion, and what effect that has on us
EXP : Chosing to stay calm when having to continue an important conversation with a ‘difficult’ person – because we are clear that their attitude is not about us!
AND  / OR
2. Expressive suppression (Response) = comes after the emotion is triggered, & does not influence the emotion itself, but rather its outcomes & consequences. That means being in charge of actions so they don’t lead us in the ‘wrong ‘ direction.

🔸 The first 4 strategies are used before the emotion registers, & are most effective because they affect which emotion shows up.
🔹 The 5th is used after the emotion has been activated (triggered), since it can change or modify how we reacted to it (behavior).

To be balanced, Emotional self-regulation allows us to handle our emotions appropriately – in most situations, most of the time – especially the “difficult” ones. Using our tools helps to keep us motivated toward desired goals, stick to personal standards, strengthen willpower, & keep our actions-to-emotions ratio in balance.
EXP : Even if really angry at someone, you can talk to them using direct & self-confident language – “When you don’t stick to our agreements, I feel powerless, frustrated & angry.”

NEXT : S-R – Emotional Intelligence

Self-Regulation – BOTTOM-Up √

dmtorbi ACoAs

PREVIOUS: TOP-DOWN thinking

💎 SEE Definitions below

2. BOTTOM-UP (B-U) Inductive Perception
This is the reverse of Top-Down – which relies on previous knowledge & experiences to create meaning.
INSTEAD:
B-U processing starts with observing many pieces of concrete reality & extrapolates from them what the big picture is or may be. The stimulus (what we observe) itself shapes our perceptions, without any preconceived ideas, moving from the details of a situation or person —-> to the broad overview or conclusion.  (like Dr. WHO)
EXP: Looking at many pictures of separate grey leathery body parts, we realize they’re all parts of an elephant.

Sensation & perception are understood solely in terms of environmental stimuli. Rather than depending on learning & context, perception is “what you see is what you get”  The 4 stages of sensory processing :
• Reception =  Sensory information (sight, sound….), the visual processes and mental expectation which contribute to how we see the world
• Transduction = bottom-up processing breaks down perception into its most basic elements. EXP:  if you stub your toe, nerves endings immediately send pain signals to your brain as electro-chemical information

•  Transmission = anything in our environment that stands out & grabs our attention (horns, sirens, phone rings, doorbell….)
• Interpretation =  B-U attention solves smaller every-day problems EXP: since it has become automatic to check your phone, you won’t ignore a text notification….
In general – all incoming signals are received in the brain by category, each message deciphered separately in specific regions, such as the parietal lobe.
When we look at something / someone, signals are brought to the retina, & these electrical impulses travel along visual pathways in to the visual cortex. They’re processed to form our visual experience, allowing the mass of information to be interpreted into appropriate action (motor) responses.

The B-U approach tells us that body sensations or feelings are the first to occur. 2 steps are involved : Stimuli received —-> which spark Emotions. Those are controlled & processed mainly at an unconscious level (bottom-up). But we only become gradually aware of emotions after growing & strengthening the thinking brain (top-down).

Because of the emotional aspect, the B-U way of understanding the world is often dismissed as simply anecdotal, without statistical or scientific backing. Actually – it’s how we harness creativity, excel in innovation, improve problem-solving, flexibility & work-place engagement ….

HOWEVER – Because the B-U approach does start from small observations, it can easily open the door to several cognitive biases,
— from Over-estimating the significance of small samples of data
— to Confirmation bias – finding evidence for what you believe, from assumptions made.
Even so – this style is based on actual reality, and  the only way to be imaginative, creative, pragmatic.  (CHART ⤴️)

The major benefit of the Bottom-Up Approach is that it integrates the entire brain. It doesn’t just focus on a primal part but the top, bottom, left & right. This is the key to healthy emotion regulation. It allows us to analyze feelings after stabilization & safety have been built.  It explains why a person needs to feel safe first before they learn to regulate / manage their responses to stressors.

It’s very hard to reassure someone of their safety when the alarm (amygdala) is blaring – the body is too busy reacting for the brain to think. This fight, flight, freeze, or fawn part of the brain is the first to develop. To prevent this from happening, the lower parts responsible for sensory-motor & survival need to function well before the higher parts can take over.

Actually, models of emotion regulation which emphasize a balance between top-down & bottom-up processing – highlight their mutual influence, while acknowledging that under some conditions, one or the other will exert the strongest regulatory effect.

DEFENITIONS  «
NEXT : Self-Reg. & Emotions (#1)

Self-Regulation – TOP-DOWN √

dmtorbi ACoAs

PREVIOUS : Self-regulation – Inhibition / Control

CHART ↗️ :  “Poverty and self-regulation…..“


1. TOP-DOWN (T-D) thinking
Top-down processing is Deductive reasoning, which uses logic to draw a specific conclusion (infer something) from ideas or things that we already know – meaning that we rely on our background knowledge, experiences & expectations to interpret what we see.
EXP : Since “all cats have tails” (even stubby ones), and you also know that Fluffy is a cat, you can confidently conclude that Fluffy has a tail.

T-D thinkers like to get the big picture first, then fit details in to it. We use this mode when we’re mainly goal-oriented, thinking first before looking for practical examples. It’s going from the general —-> to the specific (like Sherlock Holmes).

T-D attention explains how our goals dictate what we focus on, & is the most advanced form of thinking, since it involves the prefrontal cortex (see below).  Legitimate T-D approaches to self-regulation are suited to pursuing any specific & strong goal we’re dedicated to. EXP: willing to study harder, stay more focused in meetings, plan more meticulously…..

Processing our perceptions starts with a summary / overview of the available data about some subject or person. From this – we make assumptions in order to figure out what the reality is.
EXP: When first seeing an unfamiliar food that ‘seems weird’ – we think it’s not edible. If we’re told it’s safe, learn all the ingredients & then try it – we know the reality : either it tastes good or we don’t like it.

With a T-P approach the brain depends on pre-existing concepts** to interpret new ideas, info & expectations (what we see-hear-feel). Instead of exhausting tons of energy to catch each sensation or experience – individually – we combine stored info, which makes it easier & faster to understand our environment.

**NOTE: An idea is a rough mental impression (a belief, opinion, intention….). A Concept is the understanding we drawn from a particular fact or logic (an established procedure)

★ Self-Regulation backed by Neuroscience
The clearer & more distortion-free our thinking is, the less likely we will collapse (freeze) when feeling overwhelmed by emotions. It’s the logic-first approach, although it IS extremely hard to turn the logic-brain-switch on when the emo-brain is super-charged & won’t calm down.
However, regaining balance is do-able with various “tools” such as polyvagal exercises, EFT tapping, Quantum Healing, consistent use of ‘brainercises’ (wise owl & barking dog…. ).

Pressures on Top-down processing
T-D Deductive thinking can be useful when looking for broad patterns in our environment. It’s an important filtering process, trying to improve things in our life by critiquing & removing the negatives. It helps to question & adjust our beliefs & values, so we can decide ahead of time – how we’re going to stop behaving in some self-defeating way.

But that will only be as good as the data you have – & that data is only as good as the questions we ask.
 Predispositions can hinder our ability to accept & absorb info presented in new or different ways.
Because T-D deductive reasoning relies on inference, it’s vulnerable to forms of bias, such as confirmation in research, and cognitive ones such as belief biases in our personal life.
Since we look for or prefer information that supports our prejudices & preferences, it’s imperative to learn all the kinds of CDs (cognitive distortions) we automatically use, to prevent being confused & coming to false – sometimes dangerous – conclusions.

What we expect
• In an ambiguous situation – the brain is more likely to fill in the gaps
• Context – provides clues to how we “should” interpret something we encounter
• Expectations – Based on our history, we assume what’s going to happen in a specific situation
• Knowledge already accumulated about a specific topic – may negatively affect absorbing new info
• Motivation – can make us (mis)interpret something – because of some need or desire at the time
• Typos – the brain understands because it doesn’t read every letter individually but rather words collectively.

Tip : Rigidly top-down strategic thinkers constantly ignore practical details AND disdain & dismiss anyone who don’t ‘see’ things their way (Bottom-up types). By deliberately ignoring ‘little’ components of a big vision – they’re not prepared for the inevitable pitfalls of this style. This also  frustrates co-workers or subordinates who do like to identify details & can clearly see potential problems.
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NEXT : S-Reg = Bottom Up

Self-Regulation : INHIBITION (#2) √

dmtorbi ACoAs

PREVIOUS : S-R Inhibition (#1)

SITEs : Proactive & Reactive inhibitory brain areas

•  Being “Reactive & Proactive at WORK”

 

<—- Fig. A & B
Different arrow thicknesses represent different strengths of activated influences – priming & reinforcement.  The large, blue arrow starts from the frontal lobe & goes to the parietal-occipital ones, showing how the brain enables us to quickly focus attention.
To make sense of the world, we take in energy from the environment, which the brain converts to neural sensations. Then it interprets these sensory signals as perception.
This information allows for mental control by 2 inhibitory modes : Reactive – to prevent problems & Proactive – to achieve goals, depending on when an action is being curtailed.

♦︎ Reactive prevention is the ‘bottom-up‘ mode : whenever the environment influences our thinking & emotions. There’s no learning, & perceptions are based on whatever new input comes in from the current external situation.
EXP : Someone trying to avoid losses will play it safe or do what they ‘ought’ to do.

Being Reactive implies you don’t have the initiative, letting events set the agenda. You’re tossed around by the tides of life, each new wave catching you by surprise. Huffing & puffing, you scramble to react just to stay afloat.

★“Proactive Thinking” (the reverse) is the  ‘top-down’ mode. It’s when our thinking influences how we feel about ourself & the world, which helps to anticipate the near future – based on experience & the right info – preparing us ahead of time to respond according to what’s needed.
EXP: Focus is on potential benefits when working toward a favorite goal.

Proactivity is ‘grace under fire’ – so when you’re in choppy waters you can manage well. It takes energy to rise above current difficulties, to see the big picture & make needed changes.  It’s not just anticipating the waves – it’s being in tune with them, not desperately trying to escape. You ebb & flow with events, drawing on them as a source of energy. (“BEING Proactive” excellent)

⛔️ Sometimes we don’t have that energy to cope – then in reactivity. Remember : that is a ‘normal human’ response to stress-overload, NOT a personal failure. So there’s no point in berating ourself for slowing sown.
THEN the best proactive thing you can do is to take a break. Use “Time Out” to review what & how you’re doing something, & plan how to get back on track – with a smile!

Proactive inhibition is regulated by the Prefrontal Cortex, (thinking & logic, higher-order emotional awareness, & speaking).  As the brain picks up new experiences (stimuli), stored info from memory is ‘sent down’ to the physical senses. Together they make sense of the input, in a broad overview, without needing to identify every detail.

Top-down & bottom-up processes take different routes to influence emotional learning.  Both are activated in the prefrontal cortex, but
— left side when using T-D is via increased language processing, while the
— right side when using B-U may relate to shifting ones attention between events.

Clinical disorders
Research also indicate that both T-D & B-U styles may play a role in emotional disorders, & that optimal treatment plans differ, depending on which of the 2 processes mainly generated the dysfunction

Bottom-up abnormalities might be modified or changed most effectively using behavioral reinforcement methods that reshape response reactions over time.
Top-down abnormalities may best be addressed using cognitive restructuring methods that change how a person consciously evaluates PPT (people, places, things).  IMAGE ⬆️  Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the suggested modalities.

ED with NISSI
At the neuro-cognitive level, the compulsion to self-harm when emotionally distressed – is most closely linked to the impairment of a person’s response-inhibition ability.

Emotion dysregulation is a core feature of different self-injurious behaviors. 55% of people who engage in NSSI ➡️ report some disordered eating habits (ED), which are considered “direct” & “indirect” forms of self-injury – respectively.
Inhibitory control has 3 stages : (1) interference over emotional impulses (2) action restraint or suppression (early response), (3) action cancellation or termination (late response). At the neuro-cognitive level, the compulsion to self-harm when emotionally distressed – is most closely linked to the impairment of a person’s response-inhibition ability. (MORE…..)

NEXT : S-R Inhibition (#3)