PREVIOUS : ADULTING, #1

SITEs : “How to Be Grown Up”   (detailed info)
☆ People share what makes them feel like a proper adult

 

GENERAL CHARACTERISTICS of ADULTS

🔸 Legal Age: typically defined as someone who has reached the age of majority, which varies by country (16, 18 , 21)

🔸 Emotional Maturity: should have emotional stability, with the ability to handle stress & relationships maturely

🔸 Independence: generally expected to be self-sufficient & capable of making their own decisions

🔸 Responsibility: involves taking responsibility for one’s actions & their consequences

🔸 Health Management: responsible for their own health and well-being, including making informed medical decisions

🔸 Financial Management: often expected to manage their finances, including budgeting & paying bills

🔸 Career Development: usually involved in their careers, pursuing professional growth & contributing to society

🔸 Civic Duties: have the right & responsibility to participate in civic duties, such as voting & community engagement

🔸 Personal Relationships: tend to be in more complex personal relationships, including romantic partnerships & parenting.

🔸 Lifelong Learning: Being an adult often involves a commitment to continuous personal & professional development.

EXAMPLES
🔹 Rationality
 Adults experience their emotions, but when it comes to their actions, they make rational decisions on the basis of moral concerns and self-interest. Murray Bowen observed :  “adults are able to distinguish between the feeling process & the intellectual process … with the ability to choose between having their functioning guided by feelings (emotions) or by thoughts.” They have a strong sense of identity,  & strive to live with integrity, according to their own principles & values.

🔹 Formulate & Implement Goals
 Adults develop goals & take the appropriate actions to achieve them,  establishing their priorities. In contrast, people living in a child’s frame of reference often overreact emotionally to minor events that are insignificant in the overall scheme of life (making mountains out of molehills) Voice Therapy, while not dealing with events that are important or crucial to their well-being. Because adults tend to pursue their goals & priorities consistently & realistically, their actions are more likely to correspond to their words. (“I do what I say”)

🔹 Equality in Relationships
 Adults want equality in their relationships, whereas those who operate from a child’s perspective often assume the role of either the parent or the child in relation to their loved ones. Instead, people whose actions mainly come from the adult mode —> relate to each other as independent entities, with enough reciprocity to get theirs legitimate human & personality needs met.  They’ve developed the capacity to both give & accept love, so don’t try to turn their partner into a parent figure for emotional safety & financial security (by holding on to an imagined connection or fantasy bond).

🔹 Active versus Passive
 Adults are proactive & self-assertive, rather than passive & dependent. They don’t feel victimized by life, & don’t complain or dump their problems on others. Instead, they face challenges directly & work out solutions rather than waiting on others for direction. They ask for the right kind of help for what they actually need, such as for important life-tasks they lack expertise in, as well as in relation to unresolved emotional needs from the past.

🔹 Non-defensive and Open
Emotionally mature people do not have defensive or angry reactions to unflattering feedback, or not automatically disagreeing with negative comments. They’re able to stand up for themself when being misunderstood or accused wrongly. They’re also they’re open to exploring new ideas & accept constructive suggestions, which helps to expand their self-knowledge & self-awareness.

SHORT FORM “Rules” for ADULTS
✐ Find your true purpose
✐ Follow your core values & don’t worry about what others think
✐ Approach the world with confidence and purpose
✐ Take responsibility for your actions

☆ Make a five-year plan for your life
☆ Take control of your finances
☆ Find a mentor to act as a role model
☆ Seek positive feedback so you can improve

☆ Keep your mind sharp by learning new skills
☆ Keep your living area clean and tidy
☆ Maintain good personal hygiene
☆ Clothes – Invest in a more mature, classic style

☆ Show empathy to others
☆ Treat others with politeness and respect
☆Volunteer in your community.

 NEXT : ADULTING –  #3