I DON’T LIKE these questions!

PREVIOUS : P-A ACoAs – Review, #3

BOOK: Overcoming Passive-Aggression…..

SITE: “Why Empaths Freeze Around Fake People” 

See ACRONYM page for abbrev.

REVIEW: Ways to express anger – Bible perspective

Qs re. Silent Treatment – Christian focus
A Master Mind student formulated the following Qs for such a person to ask themselves, but they can also be used in couple’s counseling & in groups.

MOTIVATION for using the Silent Treatment (ST)
✐ What are you trying to achieve, accomplish, or prove with ST?
✐ What are you trying to protect yourself from by choosing silence?
✐ Is this a defensive tactic? If Yes, then against what?
✐ What are you trying to control when you use ST?
✐ What is it that makes you so angry?
✐ What are you afraid of if you were to actually talk to the person you’re ignoring?

COMMUNITY
🔎 Are you aware how this tactic affects your family – this type of abuse?
🔎 Are there any other people in your life you treat this way?
🔎 How does it make you feel when you are ignored & alienated?
🔎 Do you have anyone holding you accountable for this tactic?
🔎 Are you willing to change now? Will you stop doing this and voice your concern?

QUESTIONNAIRE re. being Passive-Aggressive 
Unexpressed anger can build up and take over your life, making you miserable in many different ways. You may have deep unresolved anger if you:

📕 EMOTIONAL /PSYCHOLOGICAL

_____ Are afraid to express strong emotion, believing it’s wrong to be angry

_____ Are bored, apathetic, have lost interest in things you used to enjoy

_____ Are excessively impatient and irritable

_____ Become easily frustrated with other people’s faults or limitations

_____ Deny your feelings of frustration, irritation & impatience

_____ Often complain to others about injustice at your job or at home

_____Smile but are bitter and cynical, while you’re hurting inside

_____You seem sweet, compliant & agreeable, but underneath are really resentful, angry, petty & envious

_____You’re afraid of being alone, & equally afraid of being dependent

_____You cover up feel inadequate with superiority, disdain, hostile passivity

_____You sulk, withdraw and pout

_____You constantly protect yourself so noone will know how afraid you are of being inadequate, imperfect, left, dependent or simply human

🖥️ MENTAL / PHYSICAL

_____ Are unnecessarily critical of yourself

_____Feel insulted by others’ selfish driving, resulting in road rage

_____ Grind teeth or clench your jaws, with chronic tight facial muscles

_____ Have chronic muscle tension in neck & shoulders, that worsens when anxious

_____ Have continual thoughts of revenge

_____ Habitually clenched fists, tap feet or hands when upset

_____ Turn your anger on yourself & mentally beat yourself up

_____You are often late and/or forgetful

_____ You often procrastinate, especially about things you do for others

_____You regularly complain that you’re treated unfairly

📱 COMMUNICATION / SOCIAL

_____ Are afraid to express your opinion because you might blow up

_____ Are sarcastic and use humor destructively

_____ Are secretly or outwardly judgmental about how others act

_____ Agree to do something, then don’t follow through. “Forget” your promises

_____ Displace anger on ‘safer’ people (less threatening) or on objects

_____ Frequently pepper your talk with cuss words

_____ Must have the last work in disagreements, keep a fight going

_____ Overly polite, cheerful, ‘grin & bear it’ to hide feel mistreated

_____ Pick at others & provoke them to anger

_____You drag your feet to frustrate others

____ You don’t speak your truth openly, kindly & honestly – when asked for your opinion or asked to do something for someone

_____You’re unwilling to give a straight answer

_____ You make up stories, excuses and lies

_____ Want to be known as the “nice guy/gal” but inwardly are in turmoil

NEXT: Dealing with P-As, #1