Self-Regulation : EMOTIONAL Intelligence √

PREVIOUS :
S-R & 
Emotion Regulation

SITE : Self-report tests
This one from Truity 


Emotional Intelligence
  Quotient (EQ) is a set of skills that helps us reason with & about emotion. They are key building blocks for children & adults providing positive outcomes in mental & social functioning —-> psychological well-being, academic & workplace performance & leadership effectiveness.
It’s about knowing ourself better & sharpening the ability to handle emotions in everyday decisions & our interaction with others.
People with high EQ traits are empathetic, tuned in, perceptive. With gratitude, they count their blessings while acknowledging that nobody is perfect.

To measure one’s EQ, one type of test △ has a person answering questions or statements by rating their own behaviors. Another type involves asking people to respond to situations & then assessing their skills. It also requires them to actively show their abilities, which are then rated by a third party.

Self-Regulation is a core component of  (EQ)
According to Daniel Goleman, the 5 components are:
Empathy = A key interpersonal skill, it’s the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, to see a situation from their perspective.
As well as being aware of others’ feelings, it’s important to respond fairly – even when not agreeing with them.
Respecting diversity & inclusion is a vital aspect of empathy, as is communication – paying close attention to what you & others say, both verbally or through body language

Internal motivation – This partly stems from understanding what you want to do & why. It’s about your drive to improve & achieve, having high standards & consistently working towards your goals.  This means being positive & assertive,  ready to act on opportunities as they come along. Motivation is driven by optimism which results in resilience.

Self-awareness = Recognize & understand what you’re feeling & why – as well as how they affect others around you. You know when to step back & question your feelings & thoughts before acting.  It’s the basis of good intuition & decision-making, based on knowing your strengths, weaknesses & your values.

Self-regulation = A result of being emotional aware is managing all emotions effectively. By holding yourself accountable for your actions & staying true to your values – you treat others with respect. When under stress you consciously step back to take a deep breath, it helps those around you feel reassured, & can motivate them take positive actions when needed.

Social  /Soft skills —-> “friendliness with a purpose” so everyone is treated politely & with respect, used both for personal & organizational benefit. Those with a high EQ are often  called a ‘people person’, who are adept at dealing with others. They make great leaders, are trustworthy, inspire & motivate others, manage change, resolve conflict effectively, & giving praise where it’s due.

When these 5 areas are working well & in balance, we’re better able to face eternal & external pressures.  Think of our physical, mental & emotional energy (PMES) like a battery on an electronic device. Overuse can drained it quickly, needing to be regularly replenished. In the same way – we can’t successfully manage emotional stress when our internal battery is depleted. EQ is resilience.

4 HABITS of emotionally strong, EQ people.  THEY….
📍Control Attention, Not Emotions = ….focus on being in charge of their mental meandering  & intuition – by choosing what to think about, shifting away from obsessing & worry toward learning & problem-solving
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📍 Practice Compassionate Self-Talk = ….. know the importance of being self-compassionate & understanding, specially when feeling down, rather than being harsh. They regularly hold nurturing inner dialogues with the Inner Child, with the same kindness & support they will offer a struggling friend.

📍 Set & Enforce Healthy Boundaries = ….. protect their mental & emotional health. Without clear limits with self & others, they disregard their own wants & needs – which are the foundations of boundaries. It may be challenging in the short term, but it promotes personal growth & improved relationships.

📍 Use Values to Make Decisions = ….. know it requires consistent effort & developing specific habits. They focus on controlling attention, practicing self-care, use values to make decisions, & have healthy boundaries.
These habits empower them to “hold & handle” their emotions, for a more fulfilled & balanced life.
Remember, emotional strength is not about suppressing emotions but responding to them in a healthy and constructive way.

NEXT : S-R :- EQ Leaders

Self-Regulation : EMOTIONAL Dysregulation √

PREVIOUS :
S-R & 
Emotional -EQ

 

 

EMOTIONAL DYSregulation  (E-D) is the inability to use healthy strategies to diffuse or moderate painful emotions. When in this state, we can act in ways that overwhelm us further, getting stuck in a vicious emotional cycle. It’s on a spectrum between under & over-reactive styles.Either extreme makes it hard to self-soothe & return to a baseline emotional state.
Research indicated that psychological dysfunction (such as affective or borderline personality disorders) may be identified as a lack of emotion-regulation flexibility

Someone with dysregulated emotions may have :
♦︎ extreme perfectionism
♦︎ high levels of shame, guilt
♦︎ heightened, unstable painful emotions
♦︎ high sensitivity to emotions in social situations
♦︎ inability to inhibit impulsive behaviors
♦︎ low tolerance for frustration
♦︎ obsessing on an emotional situation
♦︎ reduced awareness & understanding of emotions
♦︎ severe depression, &/or continual anxiety
♦︎ suicidal thoughts or attempts

Common reactions / behaviors :
♞ alcohol & substance abuse. Self-injury
♞ avoiding or withdrawal from difficult situations
♞ conflict in interpersonal relationship
dissociating , numbness, distractibility
♞ emotional eating, sleep dysfunctions
♞ over-use of social media, neglecting other responsibilities
♞ impulsive, reckless . high risk sexual activity
♞ rage, &/or violent outbursts

LOW Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
♦︎ Limited Recognition: trouble accurately identifying emotions
♦︎ Emotional Ignorance : unable to handle emotional triggers
♦︎ Impulsive Reactions : have knee-jerk emotions & “acting-out’ behaviors
♦︎ Ineffective Coping : often use unhealthy strategies
♦︎ Reduced Empathy: makes interpersonal conflicts more likely & harder to resolve
♦︎ Trouble Verbalizing : Missing, inaccurate or distorted ways of expressing emotions often lead to miscommunication / misunderstanding, & conflicts, causing personal or work losses.

CHILDHOOD CAUSES
Environment. Whether is the family or the physical environment, a bad environment can negatively impact a person’s ability to process & respond to emotions.
Traumatic brain injury. A mental dysfunction caused by an outside force, usually a violent blow to the head.‌

Temperament – is determined by genetic inheritance, usually stable across time & situations. Differences in siblings show up very early in life. Some infants are calm & even-tempered, others tend to have more intense & longer stress-(over)reactions

Trauma Experiencing or witnessing abuse, especially in childhood, causes catastrophic emotions which a child or adult cannot process, understand &/or integrate. This leads to severe emotional dysregulation. The overwhelming intensity of painful feelings can lead to developing long-term inflexible strategies

Child neglect.
A form of parental abuse that deprives a child’s basic needs, including inadequate or missing —-> supervision, health care, clothing, or housing, as well as other physical, emotional, social, educational, & safety needs.
Chronic low levels of invalidation. This occurs when a person’s thoughts and feelings are rejected, ignored, or judged.

Attachment styles = Early connection-experiences shape emotion regulation abilities.  Infants need caregivers to help modulate their emotions through Attuned Bonding.  Without this, children fail to develop self-soothing capacities & instead will rely on external regulation, expressed as co-dependence, people-pleasing & passive-aggressive interactions. (See posts on Insecure attachment styles )

E-D Symptoms in  Related DISORDERS
Poor emotion regulation in childhood may increase the development of other mental health disorders. Also, having a neuro-developmental condition may include symptoms of poorer emotional regulation.

Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
Such people likely have strong reactions to small setbacks, feel emotions more intensely than others, have difficulty calming down, with a low tolerance for frustration or annoyance.

Autism spectrum disorders (ASD)
These people often have greater or more intense baseline levels of “negative” emotions or irritability, poorer problem-solving skills, can become easily overstimulated, & find it harder to detect other people’s emotions.

Borderline personality disorder (BPD)
Symptoms are heightened & changeable negative moods, weak ur missing appropriate regulation strategies, & a surplus of unhealthy / self-defeating strategies.

Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD)
Often diagnosed in adults or children with repeated trauma experiences (abuse, neglect, & violence).
E-D symptoms involve great trouble self-calming when distressed, & chronic emotional numbing.

Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (DMDD)
This childhood condition can involve extreme moods & intense temper outbursts. It includes intense reactions to painful emotions with anger, irritability .
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‼️ For HEALING – RECOVERY ideas = see long lists in future posts —- >Adults” & “Growth”

NEXT :

Self-Regulation : EMOTIONAL Regulation √

PREVIOUS : S-R -Emotion Domain

SITEs : ▶︎  6 Key Skills to Regulate Emotions = Self-awareness, Mindful awareness, Cognitive reappraisal, Adaptability, Self-compassion, & Emotional support
▶︎ S-R Affirmation CARDS for WOMEN with ADHD & ANXIETY

▶︎ 3 Science-Based Emotion Regulation Strategies = Reappraisal, Self-soothing, Attentional control.Emotional Regulation (E-R) includes both pleasant & unpleasant emotions, & actively using the tools 🛠️ makes it possible for us to be in charge of them. It involves :
Initiating actions triggered by emotions —-> Inhibiting those actions when necessary —-> & Modulating those responses.IMP :  Emotion regulation (E-R) is not aimed at eliminating our emotions, but rather being flexible, so we can manage many different experience with grace & humor ! Rigid or numb reactions are unhealthy, but flexibility makes adjustments to new information & experiences easier.

Emotional flexibility develops from learning a variety of mental & behavioral strategies (see “SITEs” ↑ & Chart ↓). They are to be used according to the demand of a current situation, & practiced through each person’s unique characteristics.

Under stress our brain’s natural reaction is to activate the amygdala, which regulates fight-or-flight responses. Using E-R tools lets us buy time to consider options, before automatically reacting in self-defeating ways. Functioning as a modifier, E-R helps us filter events in daily life, ☀︎choosing to deal with the most important issue presented so it doesn’t become a burden or dangerous.

R.U.L.E.R.“= E-R used to cope with everyday situations & feelings
Recognize emotions in myself & others
Understand the triggers & causes of my emotions
Label words that best describe feelings so I can communicate them accurately
Express – learn how to act appropriately & skillfully in social situations
Regulate – develop strategies to manage & moderate feelings. This will allow me to make wiser responses to emotional situations, & help reach my goals more easily.

E-R Skills are essential for personal ‘ease’, success & smooth-running relationships.  Categories they apply to :
• Behavioral = sensory-motor strategies
• Language = words or other symbols
• Meta-cognitive = ability to reflect on & talk about mental tools, including  skills that support personal organization & regulation

a. Self-regulation = achieved independently without the support of others.  Goals :
• Be available for learning, & to interact with others
• Regulate self during new & changing situations
• Recover from extreme dysregulation by oneself
• Use action strategies to regulate arousal level during familiar activities
• Use language strategies to regulate arousal (a trigger) during familiar activities

b. Mutual regulation = exercised in supportive social interactions.  Goals :
• Able to Express a range of emotions
• Respond to assistance offered by family, partners, friends
• Request assistance from valued ‘others’ to regulate state
• Respond well to feedback & guidance regarding behavior
• Recover from extreme dysregulation with support from valued ‘others’

⬇️  Gross  identified identified 5 types of responses in the emotional regulation process :  a. Situation selection, b. Situation modification, c. Attention deployment, d. Cognitive change & e. Response modulation

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Combining strategies
Gross stresses that emotions do not need to be regulated or modified all the time – only when they interfere with desired activity or goals. Gross and John, 2003
1. Cognitive re-appraisal (Antecedent) = correcting & modifying our interpretation of a situation that has triggered an emotion, and what effect that has on us
EXP : Chosing to stay calm when having to continue an important conversation with a ‘difficult’ person – because we are clear that their attitude is not about us!
AND  / OR
2. Expressive suppression (Response) = comes after the emotion is triggered, & does not influence the emotion itself, but rather its outcomes & consequences. That means being in charge of actions so they don’t lead us in the ‘wrong ‘ direction.

🔸 The first 4 strategies are used before the emotion registers, & are most effective because they affect which emotion shows up.
🔹 The 5th is used after the emotion has been activated (triggered), since it can change or modify how we reacted to it (behavior).

To be balanced, Emotional self-regulation allows us to handle our emotions appropriately – in most situations, most of the time – especially the “difficult” ones. Using our tools helps to keep us motivated toward desired goals, stick to personal standards, strengthen willpower, & keep our actions-to-emotions ratio in balance.
EXP : Even if really angry at someone, you can talk to them using direct & self-confident language – “When you don’t stick to our agreements, I feel powerless, frustrated & angry.”

NEXT : S-R – Emotional Intelligence

Self-Regulation – BOTTOM-Up √

PREVIOUS: TOP-DOWN thinking

💎 SEE Definitions below

2. BOTTOM-UP (B-U) Inductive Perception
This is the reverse of Top-Down – which relies on previous knowledge & experiences to create meaning.
INSTEAD:
B-U processing starts with observing many pieces of concrete reality & extrapolates from them what the big picture is or may be. The stimulus (what we observe) itself shapes our perceptions, without any preconceived ideas, moving from the details of a situation or person —-> to the broad overview or conclusion.  (like Dr. WHO)
EXP: Looking at many pictures of separate grey leathery body parts, we realize they’re all parts of an elephant.

Sensation & perception are understood solely in terms of environmental stimuli. Rather than depending on learning & context, perception is “what you see is what you get”  The 4 stages of sensory processing :
• Reception =  Sensory information (sight, sound….), the visual processes and mental expectation which contribute to how we see the world
• Transduction = bottom-up processing breaks down perception into its most basic elements. EXP:  if you stub your toe, nerves endings immediately send pain signals to your brain as electro-chemical information

•  Transmission = anything in our environment that stands out & grabs our attention (horns, sirens, phone rings, doorbell….)
• Interpretation =  B-U attention solves smaller every-day problems EXP: since it has become automatic to check your phone, you won’t ignore a text notification….
In general – all incoming signals are received in the brain by category, each message deciphered separately in specific regions, such as the parietal lobe.
When we look at something / someone, signals are brought to the retina, & these electrical impulses travel along visual pathways in to the visual cortex. They’re processed to form our visual experience, allowing the mass of information to be interpreted into appropriate action (motor) responses.

The B-U approach tells us that body sensations or feelings are the first to occur. 2 steps are involved : Stimuli received —-> which spark Emotions. Those are controlled & processed mainly at an unconscious level (bottom-up). But we only become gradually aware of emotions after growing & strengthening the thinking brain (top-down).

Because of the emotional aspect, the B-U way of understanding the world is often dismissed as simply anecdotal, without statistical or scientific backing. Actually – it’s how we harness creativity, excel in innovation, improve problem-solving, flexibility & work-place engagement ….

HOWEVER – Because the B-U approach does start from small observations, it can easily open the door to several cognitive biases,
— from Over-estimating the significance of small samples of data
— to Confirmation bias – finding evidence for what you believe, from assumptions made.
Even so – this style is based on actual reality, and  the only way to be imaginative, creative, pragmatic.  (CHART ⤴️)

The major benefit of the Bottom-Up Approach is that it integrates the entire brain. It doesn’t just focus on a primal part but the top, bottom, left & right. This is the key to healthy emotion regulation. It allows us to analyze feelings after stabilization & safety have been built.  It explains why a person needs to feel safe first before they learn to regulate / manage their responses to stressors.

It’s very hard to reassure someone of their safety when the alarm (amygdala) is blaring – the body is too busy reacting for the brain to think. This fight, flight, freeze, or fawn part of the brain is the first to develop. To prevent this from happening, the lower parts responsible for sensory-motor & survival need to function well before the higher parts can take over.

Actually, models of emotion regulation which emphasize a balance between top-down & bottom-up processing – highlight their mutual influence, while acknowledging that under some conditions, one or the other will exert the strongest regulatory effect.

DEFENITIONS  «
NEXT : Self-Reg. & Emotions (#1)

Self-Regulation – TOP-DOWN √

PREVIOUS : Self-regulation – Inhibition / Control

CHART ↗️ :  Poverty and self-regulation…..


1. TOP-DOWN (T-D) thinking
Top-down processing is Deductive reasoning, which uses logic to draw a specific conclusion (infer something) from ideas or things that we already know – meaning that we rely on our background knowledge, experiences & expectations to interpret what we see.
EXP : Since “all cats have tails” (even stubby ones), and you also know that Fluffy is a cat, you can confidently conclude that Fluffy has a tail.

T-D thinkers like to get the big picture first, then fit details in to it. We use this mode when we’re mainly goal-oriented, thinking first before looking for practical examples. It’s going from the general —-> to the specific (like Sherlock Holmes).

T-D attention explains how our goals dictate what we focus on, & is the most advanced form of thinking, since it involves the prefrontal cortex (see below).  Legitimate T-D approaches to self-regulation are suited to pursuing any specific & strong goal we’re dedicated to. EXP: willing to study harder, stay more focused in meetings, plan more meticulously…..

Processing our perceptions starts with a summary / overview of the available data about some subject or person. From this – we make assumptions in order to figure out what the reality is.
EXP: When first seeing an unfamiliar food that ‘seems weird’ – we think it’s not edible. If we’re told it’s safe, learn all the ingredients & then try it – we know the reality : either it tastes good or we don’t like it.

With a T-P approach the brain depends on pre-existing concepts** to interpret new ideas, info & expectations (what we see-hear-feel). Instead of exhausting tons of energy to catch each sensation or experience – individually – we combine stored info, which makes it easier & faster to understand our environment.

**NOTE: An idea is a rough mental impression (a belief, opinion, intention….). A Concept is the understanding we drawn from a particular fact or logic (an established procedure)

Self-Regulation backed by Neuroscience
The clearer & more distortion-free our thinking is, the less likely we will collapse (freeze) when feeling overwhelmed by emotions. It’s the logic-first approach, although it IS extremely hard to turn the logic-brain-switch on when the emo-brain is super-charged & won’t calm down.
However, regaining balance is do-able with various “tools” such as polyvagal exercises, EFT tapping, Quantum Healing, consistent use of ‘brainercises’ (wise owl & barking dog…. ).

Pressures on Top-down processing
T-D Deductive thinking can be useful when looking for broad patterns in our environment. It’s an important filtering process, trying to improve things in our life by critiquing & removing the negatives. It helps to question & adjust our beliefs & values, so we can decide ahead of time – how we’re going to stop behaving in some self-defeating way.

But that will only be as good as the data you have – & that data is only as good as the questions we ask.
 Predispositions can hinder our ability to accept & absorb info presented in new or different ways.
Because T-D deductive reasoning relies on inference, it’s vulnerable to forms of bias, such as confirmation in research, and cognitive ones such as belief biases in our personal life.
Since we look for or prefer information that supports our prejudices & preferences, it’s imperative to learn all the kinds of CDs (cognitive distortions) we automatically use, to prevent being confused & coming to false – sometimes dangerous – conclusions.

What we expect
• In an ambiguous situation – the brain is more likely to fill in the gaps
• Context – provides clues to how we “should” interpret something we encounter
• Expectations – Based on our history, we assume what’s going to happen in a specific situation
• Knowledge already accumulated about a specific topic – may negatively affect absorbing new info
Motivation – can make us (mis)interpret something – because of some need or desire at the time
• Typos – the brain understands because it doesn’t read every letter individually but rather words collectively.

Tip : Rigidly top-down strategic thinkers constantly ignore practical details AND disdain & dismiss anyone who don’t ‘see’ things their way (Bottom-up types). By deliberately ignoring ‘little’ components of a big vision – they’re not prepared for the inevitable pitfalls of this style. This also  frustrates co-workers or subordinates who do like to identify details & can clearly see potential problems.
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NEXT : S-Reg = Bottom Up

Self-Regulation : INHIBITION (#2) √

PREVIOUS : S-R Inhibition (#1)

SITEs : Proactive & Reactive inhibitory brain areas

•  Being “Reactive & Proactive at WORK

 

<—- Fig. A & B
Different arrow thicknesses represent different strengths of activated influences – priming & reinforcement.  The large, blue arrow starts from the frontal lobe & goes to the parietal-occipital ones, showing how the brain enables us to quickly focus attention.
To make sense of the world, we take in energy from the environment, which the brain converts to neural sensations. Then it interprets these sensory signals as perception.
This information allows for mental control by 2 inhibitory modes : Reactive – to prevent problems & Proactive – to achieve goals, depending on when an action is being curtailed.

♦︎ Reactive prevention is the ‘bottom-up‘ mode : whenever the environment influences our thinking & emotions. There’s no learning, & perceptions are based on whatever new input comes in from the current external situation.
EXP : Someone trying to avoid losses will play it safe or do what they ‘ought’ to do.

Being Reactive implies you don’t have the initiative, letting events set the agenda. You’re tossed around by the tides of life, each new wave catching you by surprise. Huffing & puffing, you scramble to react just to stay afloat.

“Proactive Thinking” (the reverse) is the  ‘top-down’ mode. It’s when our thinking influences how we feel about ourself & the world, which helps to anticipate the near future – based on experience & the right info – preparing us ahead of time to respond according to what’s needed.
EXP: Focus is on potential benefits when working toward a favorite goal.

Proactivity is ‘grace under fire’ – so when you’re in choppy waters you can manage well. It takes energy to rise above current difficulties, to see the big picture & make needed changes.  It’s not just anticipating the waves – it’s being in tune with them, not desperately trying to escape. You ebb & flow with events, drawing on them as a source of energy. (“BEING Proactive” excellent)

⛔️ Sometimes we don’t have that energy to cope – then in reactivity. Remember : that is a ‘normal human’ response to stress-overload, NOT a personal failure. So there’s no point in berating ourself for slowing sown.
THEN the best proactive thing you can do is to take a break. Use “Time Out” to review what & how you’re doing something, & plan how to get back on track – with a smile!

Proactive inhibition is regulated by the Prefrontal Cortex, (thinking & logic, higher-order emotional awareness, & speaking).  As the brain picks up new experiences (stimuli), stored info from memory is ‘sent down’ to the physical senses. Together they make sense of the input, in a broad overview, without needing to identify every detail.

Top-down & bottom-up processes take different routes to influence emotional learning.  Both are activated in the prefrontal cortex, but
left side when using T-D is via increased language processing, while the
right side when using B-U may relate to shifting ones attention between events.

Clinical disorders
Research also indicate that both T-D & B-U styles may play a role in emotional disorders, & that optimal treatment plans differ, depending on which of the 2 processes mainly generated the dysfunction

Bottom-up abnormalities might be modified or changed most effectively using behavioral reinforcement methods that reshape response reactions over time.
Top-down abnormalities may best be addressed using cognitive restructuring methods that change how a person consciously evaluates PPT (people, places, things).  IMAGE ⬆️  Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the suggested modalities.

ED with NISSI
At the neuro-cognitive level, the compulsion to self-harm when emotionally distressed – is most closely linked to the impairment of a person’s response-inhibition ability.

Emotion dysregulation is a core feature of different self-injurious behaviors. 55% of people who engage in NSSI ➡️ report some disordered eating habits (ED), which are considered “direct” & “indirect” forms of self-injury – respectively.
Inhibitory control has 3 stages : (1) interference over emotional impulses (2) action restraint or suppression (early response), (3) action cancellation or termination (late response). At the neuro-cognitive level, the compulsion to self-harm when emotionally distressed – is most closely linked to the impairment of a person’s response-inhibition ability. (MORE…..)

NEXT : S-R Inhibition (#3)

Self-Regulation : INHIBITION (#1) √

PREVIOUS : Bottom-UP

SITEs : Parenting Guide: Healthy Principles That Work”

NOTE: This type of Inhibition is NOT about negating oneself out of fear, self-hate & lack of boundaries  (Post “Over-controlling ourselves#2“)
In physiological psychology, inhibition refers to the suppression of neural electrical activity.
In personality psychology
, inhibition (self-restraint) is the capacity to think before you act – which involves controlling our automatic urges (attention, behavior, thoughts, emotions) —-> by pausing, then using attention and reasoning to respond appropriately.
It’s the conscious or unconscious ability to stop ourself from doing or saying something that would harm personal goals or social standing, injure someone we need or care about, or prevent a negative consequence to self or others.

Inhibitory control has 3 stages : (1) interference over emotional impulses (2) action restraint or suppression (early response), (3) action cancellation or termination (late response).
Conscious inhibition is often used in daily life, especially when faced with conflicting needs or wishes, serving a necessary social function
TO lessen or prevent harmful impulses from being acted out toward others (not hitting someone when in a rage)
AND
TO make it possible to delay gratifying a pleasurable activity when it can harm oneself or someone else. EXP :
— resist the urge to scratch a mosquito bite
— not interrupt someone when they are talking to us
— pull ourselves out of obsessive negative thought patterns & self-talk
— stay focused on a task even with several distractions all around us
— stay quiet when we’d really like to say but know we shouldn’t…..

Response inhibition is part of Positive Mental control (an executive function),  a core feature of self-regulation (S-R).  Adults mostly restrain emotional displays, as various pressures & events increase its importance. EXP : when negotiating, it’s self-defeating to reveal one’s wishes or feelings too much.

Participation in human culture involves performing complex tasks, & effective performance can benefit from inhibiting any responses that might disturb, distract from or compete with one’s needs
It’s allows people TO :
initiate, adjust, interrupt, stop, or change their thoughts, feelings or actions (T.E.As), in order
to accomplish something desired, or to maintain a current standard of living.
It’s also important for learning, because to master new info one must restrain unhelpful, automatic behaviors or previously learned patterns.

Types of Inhibitory Control
Cognitive:  the ability to control our focus & attention while surrounded  by several distracting stimuli.
LOW control = distractibility and inattention
Behavioral : the ability to control the urges to react or respond to situations because we know it would not be appropriate to do so.
LOW control  = impulsivity

Emotional :  the ability to control or regulate our emotions.
LOW control = outburst, tantrums
Motor :  the ability to control our motor behavior, such as staying in our seat in class even though we feel bored.
LOW motor inhibition looks like hyperactivity (ADHD)

Inhibitory control begins to develop at the end of the first year of life. It progresses quickly until the age of 6. Over the next 20-30 years the person’s prefrontal brain grows, allowing the top-down generation of emotions & emotional self-regulation. Then it slowly declines as we age.

Our brain is adapted (prefrontal cortex) to function in complex social environments, with specific neural mechanisms (antennae) acutely sensitive to any sign that membership in our ‘group’ might be in trouble.
So most people regulate their actions to avoid being excluded from whatever community is important to them.

➖  An extreme lack of inhibition is disruptive, a symptom of certain mental disorders such as the Behavioral, Antisocial, Sociopathic & Schizophrenic ones
EXP : ADHD is considered a developmental disorder of inhibitory control, with a less mature or active prefrontal cortex
Too much inhibition can be personally destructive, causing sexual frigidity or impotence, &/or a neurotic inability to feel or express most emotions.  (Response Inhibition….)

GENERALLY : Females have a greater basal capacity than males for inhibition control, the brain connections that allow different areas to work together which limit unwanted or habitual behaviors . Also Fs respond differently than Ms to environmental cues.
EXP :  Listening to music tends to significantly improve the rate of inhibition-responses in females, but reduces it in males.

NEXT : S-R = Top Down, Bottom Up

Self-Regulation : SELF-REFLECTION √

PREVIOUS : Executive Function, #2
SITE : Asking Questions

 

Self-REFLECTION
This is another characteristic of self-regulation which declutters the mind, helps us think clearly to make better decisions, admit our true motives & acknowledge our positive values. For some people, it’s a way to get acquainted with oneself. For others it’s more about keeping current.

It improves our relationships by developing empathy & understanding who others are – separate from us. It’s also a powerful tool for enriching our learning-ability by considering why & how we’ve learned something. (POST : “How the brain learns

It’s about :
★ monitoring what’s going on right now, to be aware of the nature & quality of events as they occur, & understand their meaning
★ taking the time to look over your day, both private & public – examining & pondering your thoughts & actions
★ and not only what you do, but why you do it, identifying strengths & weaknesses to improve future choices
It’s ABOUT
★ regularly examining your distressing thoughts, emotions & actions (T.E.A.) – maybe at a mental distance. If necessary, try talking to yourself about them in the third person, as an observer. This can make you more objective & lessen the temptation to sweep them under the rug or get depressed
★ BEST of ALL – it’s an opportunity to recognize your growth, validate positive actions & remind yourself of personal strength & talents. Self-awareness is a skill, the foundation of emotional intelligence, self-leadership & mature adulthood.

1.
GENERAL Qs to quietly wonder about, anytime :
🚶🏽‍♀️”How do I feel about myself?”
• Am I happy, kind, in love, anxious, frustrated, lonely….
🚶🏽‍♀️”What do I think about & know my personal qualities are?”
• DoI use my time well, am I organized, persevering, ambitious….
🚶🏽‍♀️ “How do I evaluate my life, overall?
• about my health, my energy, my relationships, my career…..

DOWN TIME
At least once a week set aside time for self-reflection (30 – 60 min), AND also take little ‘stolen’ moments throughout your day (5-10 min) to pay attention to your Inner Adult & Inner Children.

Give yourself the gift of quiet time to make a private space, but also know when to stop. Set a timer if it’ll help set a boundary – it’s important to not overdo (NOT as perfection or obsession). It should be a healthy activity you look forward to, that can be done daily, for a lifetime.
Find a quiet spot
It’s important to be in the right frame of mind, & the location set aside to be quiet, peaceful & comfortable, preferably a location you’re familiar with. But it can also be in a parked car, a bench in the park, a basement lounger….

2. Specific REFLECTIONS
Ask some Qs about a specific event in your day, or maybe about general experiences in your life. What’s the first thing that comes into your mind?
What were the sensations in my body? What was I thinking? What were my emotions? Why did I act that way? ” (my T.E.As)

Ask
What? Where? Who?
These 3 Qs are a great way to structure your thoughts. Looking back on a situation or event,  consider:
✴︎”What did I do right? What would I have done differently?
✴︎Where did I choose to go?  Where do I want to get to?
✴︎ Who am I ? Who do I want to become? “ 

Ask How?
If you’ve determined some areas you’d like to improve on, consider how to go about it : what are my options, what approaches are possible & what am I capable of ? What are the first steps toward making a positive change ?

Ask what did you Notice or Uncover?
Don’t be afraid to make notes about what came up, even quick one-liners when a lot’s going on. You won’t remember them later as you continue to your busy life!
Journaling your thoughts & & feelings is great when you have more time. It’s always enjoyable to look back on moments you’ve had with yourself, to see your progress & relive the benefits.

NEXT : Control vs. Regulation

Self-Regulation : CONTROL vs REGULATION √


PREVIOUS : Self-regulation – Inhibition

SITEs :”Self-Regulation vs. Self-Control”
re. child’s brain

 

Self-Control (S-C) vs. Self-Regulation (S-R)

Self-regulation is about identifying & reducing the causes of  mood, thought & behavior problems. It’s deliberately being in charge of what those T.E.As are, in ways that allow us to provide our needs & promote desires. It includes goal-setting, habit formation, emotional regulation and self-control.

Self-control (S-C)  is always searching for hidden stressors. It’s the ability to resolve conflicts between our short-term desires & long-term goals.  Stuart Shanker (2016) wrote : “Self-control inhibits strong impulses, but only a small part of S-R, & is more valuable in the long run.” EXP : I’m trying to lose weight, but I’d rather a burger than a salad …

Successful self-control means choosing to sacrifice a smaller immediate pleasure (binge watching TV) and instead – pursuing an option that yields a larger but delayed reward (working on or finishing a project).

A S-R ‘failure‘ means ignoring the delayed reward in order to get immediate pleasure, which is called a ‘temptation’. So, does giving in to temptations really make us happy?

Researcher gave smart phones to a group of young people, & at random times asked them if they were currently experiencing a temptation.
If they said “yes”, they were to indicate whether they indulged or not, & how they felt about their choice.  Although responders did get short-term pleasure from giving in, it didn’t increase their overall happiness. On the contrary – they felt less happy soon afterward.

However, not all decisions we make when choosing between immediate pleasures & long-term rewards cause inner conflict.
— For S-C inhibition to be triggered, we have to experience stress about the choice, such as “I really want cake BUT should pick salad”
— However, there will not be any conflict IF you don’t care about your health or you don’t like sweets. So you can freely pick either one.

DEVELOPMENT:  
The background to Self-control & Self Regulation is ancient, going back as the writings of Plato.
♥︎ S-R can also be traced to Hippocrates, whose work evolved into the 20th cent. science of Physiology, which looks at bodily systems that keep the balance between energy output & restoration.
More recently much focus has been put on stress management & how S-R can help’
S-R is mainly about social interactions.

♠︎ S-C has traditionally been used by religious authorities & educators, who’ve worked on building character to strengthen ‘willpower’. This eventually developed into Behavioral Psychology, which looks for ways to contain the surface effects of imbalance, using age-old methods of punishment & reward to manage behavior.
S-C is only about individuals.

GOAL: Both styles aim to achieve “effortful control”- the ability to voluntarily focus one’s attention, which results in inhibiting or activating actions in response to their environment.

S-R is a way of reducing the amount of work needed to reach this “effortful control”, by keeping track of one’s impulses, worries & fixations – without being judgmental.
S-C instead encourages battling one’s ‘weaknesses’ to achieve “effortful control”, by judging oneself harshly, as well as being judged BY others (controlled by what others think of us).

When most people consider Self-control, we usually assume it means trying to force the brain to ignore or drown out uncomfortable or painful emotions. We take a deep breath, count to 10, or more often do something to distract ourself…..

While such activities may temporarily help some, they’re basically flawed, since we’re expecting the prefrontal cortex to make decisions that will override the limbic systemBut once we’re upset, the emotional brain has already taken control, so the rational part is at a big disadvantage.

That’s where Self-Regulation comes in. Simply trying to ‘push through’ emotions when they get triggered is setting oneself up for failure. To S-regulate we have to first identify the stressors & work to reduce or eliminate them.

INTERESTING: An international team of researchers (in 2013) identified that robust white matter connectivity between specific brain regions is key to fluid intelligence & thinking proactively (strong self-regulation).
Conversely, they found that poor white matter organization is linked to hyper-reactivity (too much S-C) and anxiety, from paying too much attention to irrelevant internal or external stimuli. (MORE….)

NEXT : Self-Regulation = Top-Down processing

Self-Regulation – 4 STRATEGIES √

PREVIOUS : Bottom-Up S-R

SITE: ‘Common S-R strategies for students

 


Self-regulation (S-R) creates identity
in modern individualistic society. Children construct their values within their cultural & use to them when making decisions for taking actions. This resulting S-R is needed for human beings to prosper in the face of adversity.

4 components that propel self-regulation into action are:
❕ having standards of desirable behavior
❕ having the motivation to meet those standards
❕ monitoring situations and thoughts
❕executing willpower – internal strength to control urges

EXP : Monitoring and Willpower are cognitive mechanisms, willpower is the ability to resist temptations, & monitoring is one strategy to help with this resistance. 

They 4 tools were designed to help students find their values & virtues in order to self-regulate so they can become the person they want to be.
However, these skills are equally useful for adults, especially for anyone who didn’t learn good study habits in childhood.

Applying them consistently allow a person to :
• work independently & develop flexibility skills
• organize work assignments, complete expected task(s), review completed work, & continue to the next job
• experience success because they stick with challenging problems in order to find solutions.

1. Goal-setting
Def: Establishing achievable objectives for tasks or projects

It helps a person identify what they’re working toward, increasing attention, motivation & effort. For those who struggle with completing tasks on time, the best goals are those that can be accomplished fairly quickly (short-term).

When long-term goals are required, the person may need help creating a series of short-term action that add up.
📍Identify appropriate goals  = not too easy or too hard, & ones that are specific enough to measure
📍Develop plans for meeting goals & monitoring progress
📍Implement the plans
📍Self-monitor progress toward meeting the goal
📍Revise the goals & actions as needed

2. Self-instruction
Def
: Talking oneself through a task or activity (self-talk).
A person can create encouraging or guiding statements for different types of situations, such as
WHEN :

⭐︎ Starting on or working through a task or problem
ASK : “What do I need to solve this problem? First, I need to….. I can use the formula d=t x r.…”

⭐︎ Coping with a difficult situation
ASK : “I forgot the outline is due Wednesday. Stay calm. If I do the research tonight, & finish the paper tomorrow night.”

⭐︎ Self-evaluating
ASK :“Did I understand what I just read? No, I didn’t so I need to reread the paragraph.”

⭐︎ Rewarding oneself
SAY “I was on the computer for several hours & did my best. I’m going to have a good meal, watch TV & cuddle with my mate.”

3. Self-monitoring
Def: Keeping track of one’s progress & recording the results. Though it doesn’t create new skills or knowledge, it does increase or decrease activity according to – how fast, how often or how long is needed to be successful. This strategy helps to:
📍stay focused on the task
📍increase awareness of ones behavior & attitude
📍provide more immediate feedback evaluated objectively
📍clearly show improvement over time
4. Self-reinforcement
Def: Rewarding oneself after completing a task, especially when long & difficult. It produces a definite improvement in performance, & creates greater changes than eternally-imposed rewards. Payoffs & Rewards can be :
❣️Tangible (buy a new shirt / blouse, try a new restaurant)
❣️Social (a night out with friends, go to a show)
❣️Activity-related (read a favorite book, yoga, take a run…)

Other examples of S-R Behavior
🔅A cashier stays polite & calm when an angry customer is berating him for something he has no control over
🔅A child stops herself from throwing a tantrum when told she can’t have the toy she desperately wants

🔅A couple in a heated argument about something important to both of them – deciding to take some time to cool off before continuing their discussion instead of devolving into yelling & name-calling
🔅A student tempted to join his friends for a fun night out but instead decides to stay in to study for tomorrow’s exam

🔅A woman trying to lose weight meets a friend at a restaurant and sticks to the “healthy options” menu instead of ordering a favorite high-calorie dish.

NEXT : Biological Domaine