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3. SECURITY Collectors 

a. Compulsive saver

b. SELF-DENIER (S-D)
◆ Underlying issue : they play the victim, using that as a way to feel safe. They stress their emotional & financial lack, with the sneaky hope that others will feel sorry for them & offer help. They consider that self-denial & self-sacrifice are virtues, assuming others will compliment & reward them for their unselfish martyrdom.

◆ Payoff : By denying their need for anyone or any “extras” in life, they expect to get sympathy & admiration, rather than contempt & rejection. This is their effort to minimize their fear & distrust of everyone, making the world a slightly safer place.  If they can convince others that they’re satisfied with a Spartan lifestyle & so are no threat of causing envy or resentment,  then – others will relax around them & treat them kindly.
When dealing with ‘rescuing types’, determined S-D can manipulate sympathy into practical help (loans, gift, subsidies….)

◆ Cost : Normal activities that are pleasurable & satisfying or would contribute to meaningful relationships – creates anxiety & insecurity. Their satisfaction comes from doing without, even when they can afford more.  However – these limitations prevent accomplishments & connections, which further erodes self-esteem & self- actualization.

In this category — Health & happiness are unimportant, with an only focus on accumulating money, rationalizing it’s for a rainy day or retirement., but for them every day is ‘rainy”.
They feel guilty spending any money on themself, & their pride is : “In a cold, cruel world no one cares if I live or die – but I won’t let it get me down”.

c. Compulsive BARGAIN HUNTER (cBH)
◆ Underlying issue : cBH are trying to shore up their ego (sense of identity) by seemingly outsmarting others – both the sellers & buyers who pay full price. They only consider the price of an object, never its value or usefulness.
Underneath, they’re covering up a nagging feeling of emptiness, deprived of something that would have given them a sense of security & comfort. Money, attention & love would’ve been scarce & their sibling(s) may have been favored over them.

◆ Payoff : 1. They get a sense of security from believing they cn can survive longer than others because their money will last longer.
2. They believe they’re cleverer by outsmarting others, & in some cases may be admired by friends, be asked for advice for their astuteness, or envied by others.
3. They may temporarily feel more secure & less vulnerable because they can manipulate their environment into giving them something more than what they paid for it.

◆ Cost : In spite of their self-deception of cleverness, actually they often get shortchanged. Because they only focus on price rather than quality, sellers can take advantage of the CBH & sell them inferior items.
Or – they buy clothes that don’t fit or are not suitable – because of a designer label & are on sale.  Their compulsion (addiction) leads to buying things they don’t need – at all, or can’t actually afford.
The excessive time they squander bargain hunting could have been spent doing something more productive or pleasurable.

In this category : The effort they put in to cope with insecurity & distrust is actually self-destructive, they’ can easily become the victim of “get rich quick” schemes, investing in false promises. They disregard sound judgement & helpful advice, becoming the very sucker they’re trying to avoid.

d. FANATIC COLLLECTOR
◆ Underlying issue : They turn away from people for comfort, help & security – trying to get gratification from things – to survive a cold & rejecting world. From earliest childhood they knew they couldn’t rely on their parents for the security they needed. Their only source of identity was from their possessions.

◆ Payoff : They avoid loneliness & isolation by spending endless hours collecting, displaying & admiring their treasures. Having the largest & best collections gives them a feeling of superiority & power.  If they become an authority on a category,  it provides respect & admiration.

Those who are socially awkward may even project human qualities on their favored objects, treating them as friends who they can safely talk to. These treasures don’t talk back, get angry, make demands or compete.

◆ Cost :  To acquire a coveted item becomes a matter of life & death to the obsessed collector. It overrules the consideration for any other person or aspect in their life. Suspicious that others will grab it away, they gradually alienate family & friends. Because objects are more important than relationships, they neglect everyday responsibilities & problems.

In this category : They may have been an only child, or unusual in some way, isolated or bullied. Parents gave them toys instead of attention…. Becoming afraid of loving people, they shower love & devotion on those objects – that can ‘never abandon’ them.

NEXT : MM – POWER Grabbers, #1