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1. Emotional Don’ts  (Feb 2018)

 2. MENTAL Don’ts for Successful
Mentally Healthy People (MHP)  (cont)

🔺MHP – DON’T constantly compare to others
They don’t “compare & despair”, accepting that people are complex & circumstances are different for everyone, so it’s not possible to use anyone else as a standard for their own value & life path.

They can be inspired by what other successful people are doing, but will only accurately & fairly compare who they are in the present to their own past self.

They don’t do things that require them to BE someone they’re not.  They check : “Why am I doing this? Am I suited for it? Does it fit me? Is it sustainable?….”  They don’t try to constantly be one-up by getting sucked into competition, which is measuring oneself against others’ rules or achievements.

🔺MHP Don’t – (always) choose short-term comfort over long-term benefits
They don’t just live for the present moment, having mastered the art of delayed gratification for a future reward – when necessary – which they apply when something they want is important to them but not immediately available.
Also, when they know something they want may require uncomfortable, time-limited steps, they’re willing to forge ahead, because it will get them a longed-for benefit (which it does!).

While staying ‘awake’ for what’s happening in their environment (& inside themself), they look down the road to see the long-term consequences of their choices.  They remember to ‘smell the roses’ along life’s path (fun, rest, beauty, love….), but consider possible outcomes of their behavior – on themself & others – using common sense & what they’ve learned from past experience.

Using this skill (as needed, not rigidly!)  is one of the most basic differences between successful & unsuccessful people, both personally & professionally.
NOTE : MHP do not deprive themself of positive short-term benefits, just not as a way to procrastinate or serlve addictions.

🔺MHP Don’t – dwell on past mistakes
They realistically evaluate the outcome of their actions – both successes & failures. The key to success is to learn from any mis-steps by identifying what works & what doesn’t, & not cling to useless ‘favorite’ or outdated traditional procedures. They think: “That error happened, & I can’t go back – so what can I do next time?”, insuring that they don’t make the same mistake over & over – if possible.

🔺MHP Don’t – expect immediate results
They accept Process – that most goals are reached through a series of steps  – so don’t underestimate how long it can take to succeed. “Patience is a virtue!” Taking the long-term view, they applying their best effort & skills, knowing that real change takes time.

If it’s a big project or new experience, they may want to research how long it took others to reach the same goal.
EXP: If the average person needs 1-2 years to learn a new programming skill, success oriented people will not expect to become an expert coder in two weeks.
OR If they only have 1-2 hours a day to work on writing a novel, they accept it will take a lot longer than if they did it full-time. (Posts : “ACoAs & Time“)

🔺MHP Don’t – externalize, they Internalize
Circumstance may be restrictive or difficult – family obligations, health problems, recession…. – but successful people always look within first – knowing that a healthy Inner life determines Outer success. They’re aware that having a satisfying life with few regrets has mostly to do with who they are inside – rather than being totally dependent on outside circumstances. Not driven by toxic family rules – having an internal life based on being comfortable within themself based on healthy life rules largely contributes to producing satisfying external outcomes.

🔺MHP Don’t – focus on societal expectations
They are aware of social rules & laws – which they make a point of obeying. However, they refuse to be pressured by social ‘norms’ & expectations – which are constantly changing – & which don’t contribute to their personal life & career path. They don’t try to measure up to anyone’s unrealistic standards or get pulled around by career expectations that other people set – which can only drain enthusiasm & resourcefulness.

NEXT : Don’ts – 2c