PREVIOUS : Parent-Child Types #2

SITE : ⬆️ “…Neuro-anatomical model of human Attachment“

➡️ BRAIN IMAGING show some effects of early life adversity (ELA) re. white matter alterations. Nearly 40% of children in the US endure multiple forms of abuse & other stressors….

BAD PARENTING – see details for each

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💧 Uninvolved or Absent Parent or Poor Role Model
While an unavailable parent leaves a void about all the things a child needs for healthy development, a poor role model fills it with bad information to copy. Either way, the child will likely have immense hardships ahead on life’s journey.

💧 Lack of Respect for Feelings, Opinions, or Choices
Not respecting for your child’s feelings, opinions, or choices shows you have no faith in your child or their growing process. It is a selfish error. It says that their evolving ideas are not worth the time & effort to express them. This will create deep-seated issues that will be woven throughout the child’s life.

Children can only learn to express themself & find out who they are – by trial & error. So patient guidance can help them excel .  This will create deep-seated issues that may weave throughout the child’s life

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💧 Lack of Support, Encouragement, or Praise
This involves things like – not helping the child with homework, not encouraging them when they feel insecure, or not giving them praise when they’ve made an accomplishment. It may not seem like a big deal to a parent, but the negative baggage it creates for the child is significant.Belittling, Comparing, Criticizing, Demeaning, or Shaming
These cruel communications are used to push the child into conforming, behaving, or producing as the parent wishes.

Children listen. They follow their role models. Even the slightest murmur that diminishes a child’s identity or efforts can be detrimental, especially for a sensitive child.
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💧  Over – or- Under-Reprimanding
Either styles is equally damaging, & they’ll carry these patterns into adulthood.Excessive scolding for making a mistake or poor judgment call is to signal that the child is only identified by the mistakes they make.
Under-reprimanding tells the child that their mistakes or poor judgment has no consequences, & so can go without guidance, direction, or correction.

💧 Publicly Shame or Discipline
Any open display of correcting a child in front of others is never a healthy option. It creates a victim mentality, making them vulnerable to being gullied, both as a child & later in adulthood.  Making the child a public scapegoat could eventually cost your child its life.
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💧 Lack of Rules, Structure, or Real Consequences
These adults are too lazy to enforce them, are too busy, or they simply have no interest in making the effort. Having little or no structure is chaotic, & is as bad as having overly complicated rules.

💧 Don’t Teach Respect for People or Animals
These adults are either not caring at all, or their own sense of entitlement is passed on to their kids.
EXP: loud, unruly, boundary-less kids running around a restaurant screaming & touching things they shouldn’t
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💧 Physical, Emotional, or Psychological Abuses
No child should have to suffer through any kind of abuse. Unfortunately some forms are so subtle or passive that parents may not realize they are perpetrating it.
Long-term effects are often recycled, transferring the pain onto others who enter the child’s life

💧 Withholding Affection, Food, or Medical Care
This is only ever legitimate if a licensed medical doctor has ordered a temporary hold for medical reasons. Even with a ‘good’ reason, this can result in the child feeling they have to must go into survival mode to take care of themself.

Withholding affection is never legitimate or acceptable.

NEXT : Parent-Child INSECURE