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DEF : Lies are ‘deliberate attempts to mislead, without prior notification – vs –
Truth, which is a ‘sincere attempt to provide accurate information.’
NORMAL : Humans are generally very poor lie detectors. In the original study of Truth Wizards, only 50 people out of 20,000 people were clever at lie detection. Another study found that people in a lab setting could only accurately catch when someone’s lying – 54% of the time.
We don’t automatically assume we can tell if a stranger is lying, but we mistakenly believe it’s easy to know if someone close to us is, yet we can barely tell if our own partner is lying to us. Actually, our conscious thinking often interferes with gut awareness. Instead of relying on instinct, people focus on stereotyped behaviors associated with lying, such as fidgeting & lack of eye contact.
However, depending too much on ambivalent markers makes it hard to separate truth from falsehood. In fact, there are no universal, surefire signs that prove someone’s lying. All those indicators that researchers point to are just clues that may or may not ‘prove’ that a person is being dishonest.
Researchers at UCLA analyzed 60 studies on deception to develop recommendations & training for law enforcement. The results published in the American Journal of Forensic Psychiatry noted that, although catching deception is not automatic, quality training can improve a person’s ability.
A study reported in the Journal of Forensic Research found that “truth” is multi-dimensional, & that false statements differ from it in both quantity & quality of information presented. Catching lies is hard because it requires more mental (cognitive) work. Being able to accurately ‘hear’ lies can be improved by using verbal-content-analysis, which identifies characteristics of truthfulness & deception.
🧡 Figuring out that a communication is true only involves 1 step, since the brain’s automatic reaction to incoming information is to assume it’s correct.
Speak truth, listen > believe.
🩶 Instead, falsehood is a 2-step process, because creating it requires suppressing the pre-potent (automatic) “truth response”. Once deciding to lie (1), mental inhibition/ self-control is then needed to prevent the truth from slipping out (2).
This may explain why it can take the ‘average liar‘ longer to respond when questioned. (“Lying relies on the truth“)
76% of participants said they applied the simple rule of saying the opposite of the truth, so the closer a liar sticks to the truth, the harder it is to detect deception. (More….)
This 2-step process suggests why the listener may also take longer to catch on – because they are forced to look deeper, rejecting the surface meaning of a suspect statement, & figuring out that it’s not just incorrect but is actually meant to mislead or deceive.
KEY solution : Because spotting lies is not intuitive, paying attention to someone’s body movements, verbal patterns & behavioral signs can help to expose them. (Future posts)
✅ Whether it’s someone you know well or are newly attracted to a potential friend, lover, teacher…., observe them over time, noticing their baseline behavior. What’s normal for them – when they’re not stressed or triggered ?
EXP : What if you notice when you’re talking to someone – that they rarely look straight at you but instead look elsewhere?
It can mean that they have a physical problem, may be a visual thinker (up & left), or may ‘just’ have low self-esteem, but are not a liar !
✅ Once you know someone’s baseline functioning, you can compare their behaviors with a repeating pattern of reactions when they are stressed, which will help to evaluate their credibility in a given situation.
NOTE : Be careful to not jump to conclusion when evaluating. Go by what you already know about this person. Some ‘proofs-of-lying’ may instead be signs of intense fear &/or shame, or a disability.
ASK yourself : How does my body feel – before, during & after interacting with this person? Anxious or relaxed. The most important tool is to consider previous experiences combined with gut institution.
