Attachment & SEXUALITY (b)


PREVIOUS : Attachment & Sexuality, #1

SITE : Pheromone Enhanced Fragrances


3 Emotion -Motivation Systems (cont)

🟥 Lust (Part 2)

🟩 Attraction / sex appeal = the person’s ability to attract other people sexually, & is a part of our sexual & mate choices. Our response to another person will depend on a combination of our mental & emotional criteria -plus- how much they have the traits we’re looking for.

The attraction can be to physical qualities such as their movements, voice, smell….. as well as aesthetics, such as person’s clothes, jewelry, perfume or hair style, even the environment we meet them in.

It can be influenced by individual genetic, psychological, cultural factors, & undefinable qualities. The degree of sexual attraction to another person depends on a combination of our internal / unconscious criteria -plus- how close the person comes to having the traits we’re looking for.

BTW – It only has to take between 90 seconds & 4 minutes for a person to decide if they’re attracted to someone. This is based on 55% body language , 38% voice one & speed, & only 7% of what’s actually said.

MIRRORINGMuch of having a healthy sex life comes down to social interaction, emotional intelligence & empathy. Being able to read and understand your partner’s cues without them having to verbalize them – although all kinds of communication are important.

Even if we’re not the most scientifically savvy, we have the experience of interacting with other people. So we can probably draw the logical conclusion that mirror neurons play an important role in sexual interaction.

One study by Bangor U in Maine, & Royal Holloway U of London found a link between mirror neurons in the brain and sex which they coined the ‘Erogenous Mirror’. This theory says that we subconsciously instigate mirror neurons by touching our sexual partner where we want to be touched.

Researchers asked (heterosexual) participants about their arousal levels in different sexual situations, & when certain parts of their body were touched.  The responses showed a clear mirroring in their preferences for areas they liked being touched vs. where they liked to touch their partners.

This also indicates why we get pleasure from looking during sexual interactions. When our partner looks at certain parts of our body we imagine or anticipate them touching us there  It suggests we treat our partner’s bodies like our own, blurring the boundaries between ourself & them. 

“We pick up emotional cues through observed actions – our partner’s facial expressions, movement observation & arousal responses.  If mirror neurons play a role in the development of emotional intelligence as we grow & mature, it makes sense they would do the same as we evolve sexually.  There are many biological mechanisms that go into how we relate to each other sexually, & mirror neurons are one (big) piece of the puzzle” (from INTIMINA)

 CHEMISTRY ?
Love at first sight” feels like the immediate attraction to someone we see for the first time. But love has nothing to do with the heart, even when we experience accelerated heart rate or sweaty palms. The stage has to be set perfectly to experience it – which takes place in the brain.

Lust and love are very different emotions, which many people combine without realizing. Attraction often depends on our reaction to someone’s appearance, so physical first impressions are relevant.  Even so, this immediate attachment may actually start with unconsciously recognized pheromones, although natural ones haven’t been located in the human body – yet. (More….) . (Mood & Sexuality )

✓ With neural activity, it’s been speculated that pheromones (in sweat glands….) can lead to sexual attraction & desire, as well as aggression. If so, then humans, like every other animal in nature, put great importance on the smell picked up from their “target”.

Research in Europe found that we usually smell best to a person whose <—- genetically-based immunity to disease —-> differs most from our own, the mix potentially making for stronger, healthier children. This may provide a scientific background for the phrase “opposites attract”. (More…..)

NEXT : Attachment & Sexuality (c)

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