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SITE: “Why a Committed partner may watch porn”

 

PORNOGRAPHY  – DEF:
√ any sexually explicit image, material or texts directly, deliberately meant to sexually arouse the consumer
√ sexual material produced & distributed with the consent of all persons involved.

INSECURE attachment is associated with a more intense self-consciousness because of a poor body image.
This over-focus shows up as a person’s worry about how they look during physical activity & intimacy with a partner, concern about whether their body is fat or unattractive in some other way.
Self-consciousness during sex can be associated with painful emotions such as shame, anxiety, guilt…. minimizing physical enjoyment. To deal with this pain many people resort to regular pornography use.

According to attachment theory, porn use can bypass core attachment fears, providing insecure people with a false sense of intimacy & security.

The Avoidantly attached are less likely to be sexually intimate with a romantic partner, so pornography may provide a safe-zone to satisfy sexual needs without emotional connections.
Avoidants (& isolated Secures) make more use of porn as a fix for their loneliness, yet loneliness actually increases its online use.

The Anxiously attached can feel especially vulnerable during sexual activity because it taps into the depths of their neediness, the fear that their inner insecurities are being revealed, while intensifying the person’s longing to be secure but without the right to have that need met.

When being in a ‘real’ relationship feels emotionally dangerous, pornography can seem to be appealing, as it offers the ‘perks’ of sexual activity without having to deal with the stresses of face-to-face interactions with another person.

Studies verify they use porn to :
♦ try fulfilling unmet attachment needs, & reduce abandonment fears by repressing or replacing them with impersonal excitement
♦ reduce stress, regulate their emotional state & cope with difficult feeling such as sadness & loneliness, regardless of how false that sense is
♦ ‘manage‘ the fear that -their lack of trust in their partner- will be found out, which they feel would cause the lover to be hurt or angry & reject them as a result.

RESEARCH
A systematic review of literature showed strong association between porn use & negative sexual body image in both men and women. However,  pornography may have more of a negative impact on women IF they are Anxiously attached & currently in a romantic relationship. Since few people naturally have physical characteristics like those featured in sex-movies, female porn-watchers can end up feeling frustrated/bad about themself & even get cosmetic surgery as a result

A study conducted with 949 Israeli women revealed that looking at pornography to escape negative emotions significantly showed lower body image, rather than frequency of use.

In another study with 171 women, their body image was affected only by their partner’s porn-use, & only if they themself had absorbed unrealistic cultural beauty standards.
Pornography use can also harm a man’s body image — if they self-report as having an Anxious or Avoidant attachment in relation to significant others.
It’s been noted that frequent use can cause body-related mental distractions during sexual activity (fear-based obsessions), increasing performance anxiety & self-criticism.

GOOD & BAD PORN
According to recent statistics, 28,258 users are online watching adult movies every second. Since it’s impossible to eliminate the human need for sex, it’s impossible to eradicate the industry – ethical or unethical.  Another study in 2019 indicated that porn addiction occurs in 3–6% of adult movie viewers.

BAD  : Exploitation – porn watchers give little thought to how content was made. Larger porn hosting sites do not indication whether participants were willing or treated fairly.
An alarming number of reports from performers tell about being abused, & coerced by directors & co-stars. Even those who willingly enter the industry can suffer……

GOOD : Responsibly-made porn can be a helpful tool for those discovering their sexuality or wanting to explore sexual fantasies in safe ways. And can be to used to spice up a successful long-term relationship. This is possible without supporting the exploitation of sex workers.
Also, creators of fair-trade pornography are shifting the focus to women‘s needs & desires, dismantling outdated mainstream stereotypes.

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