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When we think, feel, & act with integrity, we stay on track. As life progresses, keeping in line with our values ensures we become the person we want to be. They also provide the stability of character needed to build lasting relationships of trust & mutual respect.
How do we become people with integrity?
In the book Indistractable, practical steps. Building it requires consistently following through on our word, to ourself & to others.
KEEP your COMMITMENTS
1. Only commit to things consistent with your values
When living in integrity, our actions are consistent with our words, & our words are consistent with our values. If you say you’re going to do something, integrity requires you to do it.
Don’t make promises you can’t keep. If you’re unsure whether you can keep a promise or not, don’t make it. Instead, give yourself time to reflect on the reasons for wanting to promise something, & on whether you can really deliver. It’s fine to say, “I’d love to help with this, but I can’t commit right now. Can I get back to you tomorrow?” Who’s going to say ‘no’ to that?
2. Show up when you say you will
Commitment includes being on time. A familiar comment may have come from family & teachers “Lateness is a sign of disrespect!” with a wagging a finger.
We can’t expect other people to respect us if we don’t respect ourself. Not showing up when we make a plan – is a way of signaling we lack self-respect & don’t take your own word seriously. 
(RULES ➡️ )
3. Timebox
This is a schedule-making technique. an is the most effective tool for keeping your day on track.
The goal is to create a schedule that minimizes the chance of getting derailed by distractions.
Being on time all the time can be hard to manage when you have many commitments. The chart helps to spend your time according to your values, greatly cutting down on lateness-anxiety, & being trustworthy. Also – remember you can’t call something a distraction unless you know what it distracted you from – something you want to avoid. Admit & own it.
4. Be consistent with other people
It’s natural to make adjustments in your behavior tailored to the immediate situation. You wouldn’t act the same way at your friend’s bachelor party as at a brunch with your new in-laws. But when living in integrity, you don’t ignore your core values, whatever the situation.
5. Avoid hypocrisy
Integrity demands that we judge other people & ourself by the same standards. This who don’t are called hypocrites. Those people have a double standard – one set to judge other people & another for themself. EXP : they will ruthlessly criticize others for being late, driving too slow or cutting in line, but feel justified in acting badly inter own way.
Realistically – is natural to have different standards for different categories of people- what we expect of a child is not the same as someone we employ. We don’t criticize our spouse for not knowing how to fix the drain, but we do criticize an incompetent plumber…
Also – there are people whose circumstances warrant different treatment: the disadvantaged, elderly, those who are chronically ill, or with some disability.
6. Avoid lying
No one wakes up in the morning and says, “I want to be deceived today, I want to be lied to, fooled, be taken advantage of.” We value the truth—at least for ourselves. If we lie to other people, we’re implicitly demanding they tolerate something we wouldn’t tolerate for ourself.
That kind of double standard is inconsistent with integrity—a sentiment Shakespeare expressed in Hamlet: “This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man”…… (“Why ACoAs Lie“)
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