THE BETTER MY SELF-ESTEEM
the better my relationships
Previous: Char. Traits & Contrasts
See ACRONYM Page for abbrev.
ENTHUSIASM / HUMOR
“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm,” Ralph Waldo Emerson.
This is having enthusiasm about performing all types of jobs (large or small), because it generates a lot of energy, & make us far more likely to succeed. When we believe in what we’re doing, we’re excited & look forward to achieving a goal. It’s about keeping a good attitude (thoughts), even when faced with unpleasant conditions, & expressing joy in each task as we give it our best effort.
We can help people smile & feel relaxed by seeing the lighter side of things. Humor can help to better cope with pain, which enhances our immune system & reduces stress. Laughter is an essential part of a healthy, happy life. EXP:
• be an energy-giver to others • treat every job as important • see the foolishness of human self-importance • take some time every day to laugh, be playful • don’t stay discouraged but find what’s already positive in your life
The ability to respond easily & appropriately to new or changing emotional moods or physical conditions in our environment – by changing or modifying our actions & beliefs when needed, without great agitation or drama. Willing to shift plans or ideas given by authority figures who we need to deal with. Flexible thinking : Consider new or different explanations for an event or a chain of events (reframing).
• don’t get upset when plans change • respect the decisions of others • don’t be stubborn • look for the good in changes • don’t compromise what’s right
HONESTY / INTEGRITY
“Earning future trust by accurately reporting past facts.” It means to act according to the values, beliefs & principles we claim to hold (internally consistent, opposite of hypocrisy) Proof: being the same when alone as we are when around others. It’s to always speak the truth, & generally – show up in a genuine way, without pretense. Be honest & accurate in our actions, not hiding something in order to ‘get over’. Take responsibility for our feelings & actions.
Being honest eliminates guilt & shame, while increasing our self-confidence & sense of inner peace. Only do or say things we believe in our heart, &
go after what you want – fairly. Be honorable in intentions & actions, which makes us trustworthy. Being considerate comes from respecting oneself & others
• able to admit to making a mistake • return items that don’t belong to us • not be manipulative • be fair in our dealing with others • be true to our deepest self • be able to tolerate disagreements • don’t exaggerate to make ourselves or things seem bigger or better than they are
HUMILITY/ MODESTY (unpretentious)
Modesty is an expression of self-confidence that helps make a balanced & fair assessment of our abilities & character. It encourages collaboration, since modest people have nothing to gain from bragging & nothing to lose by being vulnerable. It’s letting one’s accomplishments speak for themselves – being free from vanity, egotism, boastfulness, or great pretensions (not having to show off). POST: ACoAs – Arrogance vs Humility
Having an inflated self-concept actually hinders achievement, because it ignores the possibility of self-improvement, sacrifice & hard work. Humility does NOT mean being self-deprecating or hiding ones talents. But it’s a necessary control on the natural human tendency to think of ourselves more highly than is good either for ourselves or our community. It means not always having to be right or prove our point.
• respect ourselves & others • appreciate how others have helped us • be thankful • don’t need to out-do others by making ourselves look better or smarter • value what we have & all the good around us • listen at least as much as we speak • being ‘grounded’ (humus = earth – Latin)Positive Character:
NEXT: Positive Character – Knowledge #2