PREVIOUS: Getting to Emotions – OVER (#1)
BOOK: Emotional Confidence ~ Gael Lindenfield
2. OVER-FEELING (O-F)
• Sue is on a blind lunch date in a small upscale restaurant. The man is an engineer, all left-brain & totally un-self-aware.
When he asks what she does for a living & she says ‘Healer’, he begins a lecture about how unscientific & useless that is!
Sue can feel her kid’s rage building to an explosion, but she knows that if she lets herself attack the man for insulting her & her chosen profession, she will only be making a fool of herself – and in such a small public, space!
— just before the angry words can leave her mouth, Sue quickly asks the man to talk more about his work. She’s not interested and is not listening, but it stops his ignorant comments AND diverts her emotional energy long enough for her to have a private talk with her kid:
“Honey, there’s no point in rebutting. Remember Al-Anon says to ask: ‘How important is it?’ This guy wouldn’t get it anyway, & we’re never going to see him again. The only important thing is that I don’t want us to be embarrassed here & sound like the crazy one, since I know we’re not!” Her IC agrees & is mollified.
Heal & Grow “WORK” for OVER-FEELERS (O-F)
GOAL – TO:
• gradually get the piled-up pain out of our body so we’re not flooded all the time
• re-connect with emotions that have been repressed (Didn’t think there were more?)
• learn & use the tools for coping with our intensity
• become the Good Parents to our Inner Child that we never had
TOOLS : Similar to Under-feelers BUT with emphasis on calming
BODY WORK (Site:Trauma release)
Any that can be administered by professional AND some we can learn to use on ourselves
• EFT – re-wires the brain to not over-react to triggers
• Biofeedback – changes brainwave states, from very active to a calmer level
• Release work – Core-energetics, Gestalt, Qigong, Psychodrama, … (A-Z therapies)
DRAWING / READING
• express how the IC feels, past & present
• any workbook that teaches IC drawing
• recovery & Inner Child books & literature
• spiritual lit, poetry …. anything to calm the mind & heart
SEEING / LISTENING
• soothing, peaceful music
• for some – the tympani – in rhythm with our rage
• any music, movie… that gets our Niagara Falls flowing
• to loving friends & family… but ONLY with people or groups genuinely able to tolerate intense emotions without judgment or trying to control
• 12-step Meetings, as often & as many kinds as possible
• Psychotherapy, including FoO work, Experiential, Primal, Gestalt….
VISUALIZING / SPIRITUAL
• Inner Child – putting an image to our experiences & then for continual comforting
• dreams, guided imagery, Hypnotherapy … for validation & nurturing
• prayer, services, the Psalms … for wisdom & centering
WRITING – See list for Under-feelers
🩸 2-handed IC Dialogues – especially to comfort the WIC so it knows it’s not alone with all its ES anymore, listening thoughtfully, giving guidance, correct CDs & protect from the PP
• Make a lists of good qualities – to shift the pain into joy!
REMINDER: The more we clean out old pain in safe ways, the more room there is for healthy pleasure! Our suffering will be replaced by a sense of relief & comfort.
✳️ Being comfortable is not boring! We just have to let the brain get used to it.
AND, as we developed healthy boundaries, our Sensitivity will then be a special gift, for
• correctly identifying who & what is safe for us, in our environment
• empathizing with, comforting & helping others, but only those who are appropriate & only when we are able or want to!
(see posts: “Feeling Sorry For ., “Rescuing” and “Healthy Helping”)
NEXT: Accessing & Accepting Es (#1)